Legal Quandary

Raise the Roof!

Congrats Kirby!

Love,

Mildred

posted by Legal Quandary at 22:59 | 1 comments

My Rant for the Day

To the people sitting under the bus shelter smoking while it was raining today - you suck. (And not just in the "inhale" sense of the word.)

Please understand that the bus shelter is supposed to protect all of the bus riders from the elements. Not just the two of you emitting toxic fumes.

Future infractions will render you subject to a severe ass kicking. Fair warning.

posted by Legal Quandary at 22:40 | 1 comments

Cake Blogging, Part Deux

Shell specifically asked how the cake turned out. (Thanks for asking!)

Here's the cake in the oven. Pretty good even though I had to fiddle with the recipe a bit.



This is after I took it out of the freezer and am getting ready to turn it into an ice cream cake. In retrospect, I should have left it in the freezer until it was completely frozen. Since I didn't, quite a bit of the ice cream ended up soaking into the cake. I also could have probably left the recipe alone. I think it would have looked nicer if it had been a little taller.



The other thing I would have done differently is to use LOTS more ice cream. In my defense, I did ask my sister-in-law if she thought this was enough ice cream. She thought it was going to be more than enough. I think I should have used 2-3 times as much ice cream. It still tasted really good. I think making those couple of changes would make a huge difference. Also, I'm inclined to try this with a more "traditional" birthday cake and add some sort of "barrier" before spreading the ice cream to prevent the seepage. Maybe caramel sauce, oreo cookie crumbs, or chocolate chips. Mr. Q doesn't like caramel (crazy, I know), so that obviously wouldn't have worked here.



The other part of Mr. Q's birthday celebration was the dinner itself. We went to a Greek restaurant Saturday evening. The meal there (not the belly dancer who - trust me - put the "belly" in belly dance) inspired me to do several different types of skewers. Beef with an olive oil/lemon juice/fresh oregano marinade, Pork tenderloin with a rosemary and garlic marinade, and just plain shrimp. Paired with rice, cooked with chicken broth and sauteed onions, garlic, and mushrooms. A shot of white wine would have added a nice flavor, but I wasn't inclined to open a whole bottle. Ratatouille rounded out the meal.



Check out the size of these shrimp!!! They were wonderful, if a little salty. I probably could have given them a better rinse before cooking.



My sister-in-law also wanted me to point out what a wonderful job she did of cutting veggies for the ratatouille!

posted by Legal Quandary at 20:11 | 1 comments

Happy Birthday Mr. Quandary!

Here's a little bit of cuteness from Lil Q.

I don't recommend listening with the volume all the way up. 2 years olds don't have much sense of volume control.



Happy Birthday also to Brian!

posted by Legal Quandary at 20:03 | 0 comments

How Cute is This????

The family left the house super early this morning to go hiking in one of the nearby mountain ranges. I stayed home because Professor Admin assigned a group project Thursday (aka - the day before a holiday weekend when people traditionally go out of town). Two of my three group members departed the area for the weekend, but we've been in touch. The third person has yet to be heard from, although I sent her an email several days ago.

But back to the cuteness, because otherwise the bitterness will just take over and ruin my life.

I just got this email, letting me know that they (the family, not the group members) are on their way home. Thank you, once again, to Mr. Q's employer for providing him with a Blackberry. I'm sure this is exactly what they had in mind.

Hi Mommy,
we (or at least I) had lots of fun.We r about 1 hour away from the ferry. Lil Q kept falling and didn't like how cold her hands were after playing in the snow. We saw 3 does 1 fawn 1 buck and 1 mountain beaver. They r not really beavers, just rodents that look like a cross between a porquipine and a beaver.
Luv
U'r family
P.S. This report is typed by Elder Child
P.P.S. We brought a souvinier for you.

posted by Legal Quandary at 20:07 | 0 comments

A Little Memorial Day Cake Blogging

Tomorrow is Mr. Q's birthday, so I'm baking him a cake. He doesn't like "normal" birthday cake and usually requests "something with apples." Usually I make a pie or apple crisp. This year I thought I would branch out and see if it was possible to make an Irish Apple cake into an ice cream cake. I figure that even if it doesn't totally succeed, it's still apple cake and vanilla ice cream and will taste good anyway.

Turning it into an ice cream cake requires a Springform pan. Prior experience has taught me that the ones with the teflon coating are just way too easy to scratch. Once that happens, you get little flakes of teflon in your cakes. Yummy (and toxic!)

I decided to take no chances and lined my new springform pan with parchment paper.



Because this pan is a bit smaller than the 9x13 pan I would normally use, I cut the recipe down by one fourth. If the cake totally sucks, it means I divided some fraction improperly. Also - I should have looked at all of the recipe before deciding to divide by one fourth. It's hard to divide 3 eggs by 4.

It was easy enough to cut down 4 cups of apples to 3 though.



Ok...ready to pop into the oven. Keep your fingers crossed for me that everything works out. Otherwise we might be having apple pie tonight after all.



Those are butterscotch chips on top, in case you're wondering. The melt down and sort of sink into the cake and make a really yummy topping. I also added chopped pecans on top.

posted by Legal Quandary at 18:19 | 1 comments

Heh-Heh

I'm really disappointed in myself that I HAVE this freaking magazine at home and didn't see this myself. Damn.

H/T Boing Boing

Update: Boing-Boing has a post up now that the cover is a fake. No wonder I didn't notice it. I even dug through all my back issues to look for that one and couldn't find it. Now I know why.

Um, Happy Memorial Day Fools!

It's still pretty damned funny though.

posted by Legal Quandary at 18:07 | 1 comments

Happy Memorial Day

We remember...thank you.



DoD photo

posted by Legal Quandary at 16:29 | 0 comments

In Retrospect

Perhaps cranking the "cold" setting all the way up on the refrigerator and then placing a bottle of milk all the way at the back wasn't the greatest idea.

posted by Legal Quandary at 18:28 | 0 comments

Happy UN-niversary

Today is my defunct wedding anniversary. It's bizarre to look back and think about how what started out with so much hope ended in such abject failure.

I guess I should have seen it coming. Or maybe I did and just elected to ignore the signs, hoping things would get better.

I'm not really sorry the relationship is over, though I wish it could have ended differently. I think we're both with people now who are much better suited to us.

But I have to admit that I wonder if he also pauses - just for a moment every year - and remembers that we were once happy together.

posted by Legal Quandary at 16:03 | 0 comments

When I Am A Graduate

I am sitting in the library trying to study. I never realized the library was such a noisy place until today. People with sniffly summer colds and the guy across from me who keeps shoving Dots into his fat maw and chewing loudly are enough to make me cranky.

Or perhaps they just inspire me. I've said it before and I'll say it again - us Quandaries ain't too lit-ur-ary. But maybe this doesn't suck too much.*

When I am a graduate I shall be obnoxious
For no particular reason other than to irritate law students,
And I shall spend my money on liquor and a new Ipod with lousy headphones, and I shall smack my chewing gum loudly.
I shall sit down in the library during finals week And gobble
up candy and chips and steal study materials
And turn up the sound on all the public computers And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go about the school in inappropriate dress
And deny that I’ve gotten fat but say I’m just too sexy
And I’ll learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and
grow more fat And eat three Chipotle burritos at a go
Or only pizza and beer for a week
And hoard pens and dry erase markers
because it annoys the professors.

But now I must beat the law into my head And pay my
towering debt and not swear too loudly. And set a good example for the children. I will whisper in the library and read all my cases. But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am a graduate and am obnoxious.

* With profound apologies to whoever wrote "When I Am An Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple."

posted by Legal Quandary at 18:52 | 2 comments

Note to Everyone Else Studying in the Library:

The purpose of headphones is so that other people CANNOT hear your music. If I can hear your rap crap from across two tables and a huge expanse of space your music is TOO DAMNED LOUD.

In case you missed the memo.

Love,

LQ

posted by Legal Quandary at 15:56 | 0 comments

Dear Prospective Law School,

You asked me to explain in 300 words or less why I want to come to your school.

Even though your school is ranked lower than my school, your professors are smarter than my professors. They write more scholarly papers. They give more scholarly talks. Your classes are better than any of my school’s classes. Your students are smarter than the students at my school. The probably do more and better work than we do. You treat your students better than my school treats us. You are not on the crappy quarter system.

The question is - why wouldn’t I want to come to your school?

Now please let me in!

Love,

LQ

posted by Legal Quandary at 20:36 | 0 comments

Friday Spies

This is late (as usual) and it's not my fault (for a change).

1. What is the best thing about the city in which you live? What is the worst?

Best: I think I’ve posted about this before. Despite the fact that we live in a “big city” (though I would argue it’s not really that big compared to, say, Chicago or D.C.), the neighborhoods are pretty distinct and have their own personalities.

Worst: Here’s where I sound like a really mean person. I hate going to the grocery store and having people hit me up for money. Every. Damned. Time. I mean, Salvation Army at Christmas is one thing, but this is almost every store, all the time. I understand people there are homeless out there, and I believe in giving to charity. I get that I’ve had more opportunities in life than some other people. But every time I visit Whole Foods to buy my “Mighty-O” vegan doughnut (strange as it sounds – they’re very good – especially the ones with chocolate and flaked coconut), there’s a guy sitting on his lawn chair outside selling the homeless newspaper. Somehow that doesn’t really seem like work to me. Yes, I might sit on my ass for a living too (well, I hope to earn a living at it eventually – right now, I’m paying for the privilege), but I’m not essentially begging passersby to support my ass sitting. And I resent being made to feel guilty about spending the money I (or more accurately, my husband) worked to earn.

2. Describe an idea or invention of yours that you would like to see turned into reality.

Someday I’m going to write that novel. And/or open the law office/bakery with E.Spat. I’m torn between “Queen of Tortes” or “Intentional Tortes” for a name.

I also plan to have a huge family and buy up a lot of land. Each Quandary child will be encouraged to pursue a different useful career. Then we will set up our own little empire on our land, where we could be self-sufficient if need be. When the revolution comes, we’ll be ready.

One of these ideas may or may not be a complete lie.

3. Name an overrated author, musician, and movie. Name an underrated author, musician, and movie.

You ask this question as if you think I actually have time to read (other than all your blogs, of course), listen to music, or watch movies. Haven’t you been listening? Don’t you know that Admin law is the only thing I have time for????

All ranting aside.

Overrated author: Any celebrity who writes anything about how “hard” it is to be famous. How nobody respects your privacy and as a result you ended up with your bizarre eating/drinking/drug/sex problems. Boo freaking hoo.
Overrated musician: Anyone who has appeared on American Idol. I’ve never watched, but any time I hear a snippet of anything one of these “stars” sings, I think it’s just utter crap.
Overrated movie: I’m going to catch such flak for this, but, um, I’m really more than a little confused about the whole Star Wars thing. I saw the original a few weeks after it came out and I was SO disappointed. EVERYONE at school had been talking about it. My mom and I went with Robbie True and his mom. Robbie could barely choke down his Shakey’s pizza, he was so excited to get to the movie theater. I guess I was excited too, and then we got there and I just didn’t know what all the fuss was about.

And I’ve never really caught on. I’m sure I’ll see this last movie eventually (did I even see the one before this one??? I forget…) but I’m just ambivalent.

Underrated author: I honestly can’t think of any authors that stand out in my mind as “underrated.” If I love them, everyone else must too, right? Right????
Underrated musician: Dar Williams. When Mr. Q and I were first dating, he put together this tape (yeah, back in the days before cd burners were reasonably priced). It started out with Joan Osborne’s “St. Theresa,” and then launched into “Are You Out There.” And I was hooked, but very few other people seem to know who she is.
Underrated movie: “Room With a View” is one of my all time favorites, but I don’t think anyone else has seen it. Definite chick-flick. But I love it. So there.

4. If your life were a sitcom slated to air in the fall, what would the show be called? Who would you cast in the starring role? And for extra credit, give us a brief treatment of the show.

Let’s just go with “Intentional Tortes” about a lawyer (fabulously successful, of course) who decides to give up a lucrative practice to become a pastry chef and run her own bakery while dealing with the day to day foibles of raising two kids. With a lovable but quirky husband.

People love her cakes (and especially the cupcakes), but also come in for coffee and legal advice, and the lawyer is constantly ending up going to bat for one of the regular customers. I see scenes of her rushing into the courthouse to argue passionately on behalf of her client, with her elder daughter chasing her to remind her to take off her apron and wipe the flour off her face (because moments before she was rescuing her bakery from some disaster.)

Maybe Patricia Heaton? She’s a bit older than I am…but once you factor in the whole years of lucrative practice part, it might work out.

5. When is the fun supposed to start?

I don’t even know what this question is asking – but I know I keep asking myself the same thing.

posted by Legal Quandary at 17:31 | 6 comments

He's Baaaa-ack!

It was another “good” day in PR. The days we watch videos in class and discuss the ethical considerations are always the good days. And then there are all those other days. Let's not dwell on the negative.

As I said, today was a video day. We were talking about attorney advertising.

We started out with some “good” examples. Apparently, the ABA even gives out awards for commercials that are “dignified” and “professional” and “reflect well upon the profession.”

Nothing really remarkable here. Obviously most of these law firms shelled out some bucks to an ad agency to put together some beautiful but random footage (mountains, farmland, families playing together, you name it) with some stirring music, and come up with a decent product that would leave viewers with a favorable image of their firm. Because I always find that when I’m looking for someone to handle the most intimate details of my life, I want the folks I’ve seen on tv.

Other commercials didn’t make a whole lot of sense, but still came off as "classy". I guess. Classical music playing in the background. A workshop where someone is lovingly creating a musical instrument. All of a sudden the word “craftsmanship” in a fancy script shows up on the screen, and then the scene changes to a room full of lawyers and the announcer starts talking about “legal craftsmanship.” Whatever the hell that is.

Of course, we all know that this is just building us up for what we really want to see. We want to see the bad examples. The what not to do and how not to do it.

Obviously, a class on attorney advertising wouldn't be complete without mentioning Mr. Gallagher. Again. This time we viewed the prom dress commercial in class.

We also watched several commercials for Jim “The Hammer” Shapiro. Whose motto is “I Sue Drunks.” He candidly tells his potential clientele, whom he lovingly refers to as Victims! Victims! Victims! that “I cannot rip out the hearts of the people who hurt you! I cannot hand you their severed heads.” (Picture flames and carnage in the background.) But take heart, because while “they started it, I'll finish it!”

* Sadly, it appears Mr. Shapiro is not currently able to accept new clients due to his 1 year suspension for sending a solicitation letter to a comatose patient.

In discussing whether outrageous domain names fall into the category of advertising, we examined the website of some really great lawyers, whose style has been likened to "junkyard dogs, ferocious commandos, Rambo, fearless warriors, and workaholics.” Keep in mind that these despite their tough exterior, these lawyers have also “produced awe-inspiring, scholarly briefs; used ingenuity and imaginative legal arguments to change the law where it was necessary for their clients to obtain a just result; and have organized and mastered files containing millions of pages of evidentiary documents.”

I don't know if it'll help me pass the bar (and judging by the results of my "midterm," I'd say it won't). But it was hugely entertaining.

posted by Legal Quandary at 02:27 | 0 comments

Late to Class

I was late to my afternoon class today. You may wonder why (or not – but humor me).

Was it because I left school at lunch to go pick my sister-in-law up from the airport?
Nope. But I did pick up my s-i-l. Yay!

Was it because the waitress at the Japanese restaurant we went to for lunch was painfully slow?
No – although she was. The sushi freaking rocked though!

Was traffic particularly bad?
Oooh – you’re getting warmer.

Was there an accident?
Um, not really.

Could it have been that there was a BOAT blocking the freeway exit and backing up traffic for miles on both the freeway and the major cross-street?
A BOOOOOAAAAT! Actually, aYacht. Blocking the freeway because some rich dumbass couldn’t transport the damned thing during hours when it wouldn’t back up traffic when it gets stuck turning onto the major cross-street. Because the people moving it were totally incompetent and got it stuck.

That’s right. A Boat. Backing up traffic on the Freeway for a long time. In a Major U.S. City.

posted by Legal Quandary at 18:21 | 0 comments

This Quarter Can't End Soon Enough

All my highlighters are running out.

posted by Legal Quandary at 01:40 | 0 comments

She Said She Liked it Better Than Pirates of Penzance.

E. Spat and I were cracking up at these Romance Novel covers this morning.



H/T Boing Boing

Back to Admin reading. No, I mean it this time.

posted by Legal Quandary at 22:57 | 0 comments

Bus Blogging - Status Report

Last week I wrote about the punks fine, upstanding youths I sometimes share public transportation with.

I had the pleasure of their jovial company again today.

I'm happy to report there was no vomiting involved.

posted by Legal Quandary at 22:39 | 0 comments

Much Ado About Nothing

"Remember that I am an ass. Though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass."

Before I came to law school, I would argue just about anything just for the sake of being right. (It's true - just ask my ex-husband).

However, I find that's one of the most distasteful things about the whole law school experience. I am completely surrounded by people who love being right. And most of them are much more deeply vested in the desire, nay, the NEED to be right, than I am.

Except that I just quibbled with a friend over the correct spelling of something. Really for no reason other than to satisfy my desire to be right.

So...sorry to the friend (you know who you are).

The rest of you, just remember that I am an ass.

That will be all.

posted by Legal Quandary at 22:30 | 2 comments

I'm Missing Out

I'm at home this afternoon making some revisions to a letter for my boss. I may or may not be doing this with the television on. And I realize that law school is seriously cutting into my daytime tv-watching.

Right now I've got Divorce Court on. Judge Mablean is totally berating this girl whose husband is divorcing her for being a "high-maintenance gold-digger."

The commercials are the best part though. In the past 30 minutes I've seen:

1 commercial for Scooters
612 ads for Technical Colleges (one local massage therapy school, two national technical colleges, and one local "medical assisting" school...oooh and one professional truck driving school (those always remind me of Top Gun))
1 ad for "Estrin D" - the first weight loss pill for menopausal and post-menopausal women (huh?)

oh...oh...oh! It's time for the People's Court with Judge Milian. I like her the best of all the tv judges. Or maybe the parties seem so much more real. Damn! Today's Plaintiff is a woman who says she asked someone to take care of her dog while she and her family were living in a homeless shelter. The whole family - with 5 kids - is there with her. Then the girl taking care of the dog decided to keep the dog. Um, allegedly.

I'm just noticing that the podiums in the courtroom have "Plaintiff" and "Defendant" on them. Snazzy. Also - they're not really podiums, so much as little portable lecterns on top of tables. You'd think that People's Court could afford nicer. (I have to give that to the Divorce Court folks - they have a much nicer set.)

They're showing video footage of the dog now. And now the judge is getting choked up over this dog. Now she's telling the audience court about how her husband just became a judge in Dependancy Court and how he makes decisions about child custody. And she can't imagine what he goes through.

Now she's totally laying into the dognapper about what a terrible person she is for taking advantage of people who are going through hard times. Awesome!

More commercials

- 1 Ad for medical testing supplies
- 1 Ad proclaiming cable internet to be better, faster and cheaper than DSL
- Wow. One totally lame and amazingly poorly made "career-a-thon" commercial for a medical training college I've never heard of before.
- A culinary arts school
- 6 ads for person injury attorneys
- Yoiks - the terrible "career-a-thon" medical training commercial is back with a different victim testimonial.

Oh....bummer - small claims court in New York can't order specific performance. The judge is explaining this to the Plaintiff and is more or less advising the Plaintiff to file in New York Supreme Court. You should see the looks of total heartbreak on this family's face, but they say they want to re-file. Now the judge is asking, almost pleading with the Defendant to give the dog back. And the girl said "No, I won't give the dog back."

Damn. That's harsh.

Apparently the case is pending in NY Supreme Court.

Screw it. Time to work.

posted by Legal Quandary at 16:47 | 0 comments

Oh, And Another Thing

Throwing a jacket on over your belly shirt does not turn your outfit into "professional attire." Or at least not professional in that sense of the word.

posted by Legal Quandary at 02:27 | 3 comments

Ahhhh!

There's just something nice about having freshly laundered sheets on the bed.

Even if the only reason they are freshly laundered is because your toddler soaked through her diaper after crawling into bed with you sometime during the night.

And now for something completely different.

Office of Personnel Management v. Richmond, 196 US 414.
Is it just me, or is it funny (and a bit scary) that this guy gets a disability retirement from his job as a welder with the Navy, and then goes out and finds a job driving a school bus to supplement his income???

posted by Legal Quandary at 01:51 | 1 comments

Finally. A Quiz That Tells the Truth.

She is Gourmet Girl Click on the picture below to read more: Take the 'What Kind of Girl Is She?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

H/T Boobs and Legs

posted by Legal Quandary at 02:47 | 1 comments

Days Late. Dollars Short.

Yes, everyone else was doing this days ago.

Sue me. I've been busy.

posted by Legal Quandary at 02:23 | 0 comments

Bus Blogging

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m dependent on public transportation for at least part of my daily commute to school. Last Wednesday, I left school a little earlier than usual to go pick up my new glasses, and wound up riding with a “pack” of high school students. At least I assumed they were high school students. They were all carrying backpacks and um, didn’t seem like college students. There were about 8 of them, and they were obviously in high spirits. About 4 stops after they got on, a terrible boozy stench suddenly permeated the back of the bus. Seems that at least one of them had started the weekend a bit early and couldn’t hold his liquor and yakked all over himself. And part of the bus.

They all immediately got off, leaving part of the vomit and all of the booziness behind.

I have to say, I’m sort of looking forward to being past my public transportation days.

posted by Legal Quandary at 02:00 | 1 comments

Product Alert

One of the ladies at work has a candy dish which she always keeps well stocked. I was delighted to find Hershey's Miniatures with Cashews today. Apparently they're part of a new "Nut Lovers" assortment. My excitement was somewhat diminished however, when I went back for seconds, only to return with a White Chocolate with Pecans.

Why would someone want to take unsuspecting (and most likely innocent) pecans and douse them in white chocolate?

Blech. As in - not even worth eating.

posted by Legal Quandary at 20:43 | 1 comments

On a Somewhat Tangential Note

Of course, in spite of being the most awesome mom ever, I sadly failed to capture the title for the most awesome daughter ever.

During my nightly conversation with my dad, I was relaying my financial aid woes while trying to cook dinner. (I know – cooking hotdogs doesn’t require much effort or brain power, but still). I said something to the effect of “well, bottom line is that the financial aid office doesn’t want to agree to anything which might mean more work on their behalf.” I knew it was wrong the moment the words slipped from my lips. If I’d been paying more attention, I wouldn’t have said it in the first place. But I did and my dad jumped all over me for it.

“You don’t mean on their behalf. You mean on their part.”

“Oh, um, yeah – that’s what I meant.”

“Do you know what the German equivalent of behalf is?” This is typically a lead in to how the Latin root of the word is actually the same in both German and English (or something along those lines). But it’s never a short conversation. Nor is it ever undertaken for any other purpose than to lecture me. And sadly, I had no patience for that last night. I proceeded to flip right on out.

I don’t give a good GOD DAMN what the word is in German! All I know is I have figure out where I’m going to be living in 6 weeks. AND where I’m going to be going to school. AND where my kids are going to be going to school. AND where I’m going to get an extra 20 GRAND to PAY for school! And THEY don’t want to help me!

I’m sure that to someone who doesn’t know whether he’ll live for another 6 weeks, these problems seem inconsequential. Though truthfully, his health problems and the knowledge that at some point, I’m going to have to deal with all of his legal and financial issues (which aren’t exactly trivial) only compound my own stress. However, to my credit I didn’t happen to blurt that out in my little tirade.

He just said “You need to de-stress.”

Yeah, I really do.

posted by Legal Quandary at 19:23 | 1 comments

Lameness

I just realized that my last post (before FS) was on Tuesday.

I've drafted a couple of posts and have taken pictures for the eye meme. I just haven't gotten around to actually posting them. Lame.

In other news - I am the most awesome mom ever. Mr. Q had a retirement dinner to go to last night. So the girls and I had hotdogs for dinner. And then we sat around on an air mattress on the living room floor eating Girl Scout cookies (Thin Mints from the freezer) and watching The Incredibles.

posted by Legal Quandary at 18:50 | 0 comments

Friday Spies

From the imagination of the folks from BTQ, today’s Friday Spies – the Would you Rather? edition. Of course, since I’ve been at work all day and have now read just about everyone else’s posts on this, I’m not sure there’s much in here that you haven’t read elsewhere. Fair warning.

Would I rather:

1. Live alone on a deserted island for 10 years or be paid to live at Neverland Ranch with the King of Pop for one year?

Honestly, I could go either way on this one. I tend to be something of a hermit by nature, and think I could be pretty happy living on my own for an extended period of time. However, I would be pretty bummed about missing seeing my kids grow up, so I have to go with living at Neverland Ranch. Without my kids. As a fully grown adult, I don’t anticipate being in any sort of danger. Santa Maria is a beautiful place (though I’m pretty sure he’s much closer to Los Olivos), and it’s in the middle of good wine country. I think I could handle it, and I’m fairly confident the accommodations would be more than adequate.

2. Be deaf or blind?

Well, there’s a good chance that I will actually wind up either deaf or pretty darned close to it at some point. Both of my grandmothers are quite hard of hearing (though how much of that is selective is a matter of debate.) If I were smart, I would take classes with my kids now so that we can all understand each other later.

I would really hate to be blind. When I was in the 6th grade, we did a class experiment where one student (me) had to pretend to be blind all day. I wore a bandana over my eyes, had to be led from class to class, and couldn’t participate in certain [most] activities. While many of these things could obviously be overcome given time to learn coping skills, the experience, uh, opened my eyes to how much I rely on my sight. Also, I have zero confidence in my ability to learn Braille.

3. Have skin which changed color depending on your mood or visible sight lines?

I pick Moody skin. People don’t generally have a hard time telling what kind of mood I’m in anyway. I smile when I’m happy and become verbally abusive when I’m mad. BUT I am also a people watcher and something of a peeping Tom (Well! If people are gonna leave their blinds open, I’m gonna look! Don’t judge me!)

4. Spend a year in prison or a year on tour with Celine Dion and John Tesh?

This question really isn’t that much different from Question #1, is it? I mean, other than the length of time factor. I’m going to have to opt for comfort and freedom, and go on tour. A prison sentence might be tough to explain to future employers. Heck – the tour might even be fun. I’ve seen Oprah – Celine Dion has awesome food catered every night. There are worse things in life than hanging out with rich people who happen to have horrible taste. While there would likely be much eye rolling over the quality of music, I could probably write a kick-ass book at the end of the experience. “LQ Expose: My Year Away (from Sanity)”

5. Have threesome with your close friends or with total strangers?

Ummm…this is a family blog. Considering that 1) some of my family read this blog, and 2) my children may read this at some point, I’m going to have to say that Mr. Q. is the only one I think about having sex with. And Lil Q, if you ever read this – it was just that once, since I know the idea of your parents having sex would just freak you out.

posted by Legal Quandary at 18:47 | 0 comments

Attitudes are Contagious - Mine Might Just Kill You.

G-Man asks how I manage to stay even remotely sane going to school full time with 2 kids.

The answer is that I just sort of do a crappy job of everything and hope it'll all sort itself out in the end. Today was not the best day to discuss my sanity. Or good attitude.

The day started out pretty well. I had my new sweatpants on (they weren’t white or anything - nor do I hike them up to my enormous maybe slightly larger than average sized breasts.) I also had my new tennis shoes (yay Zappos - the shoes arrived in 2 days and are awesome! A little higher arch than I’m used to, but maybe that’s because the last time I bought tennis shoes was 3 years ago.)

The sun was shining. (Note the use of the past tense.)

AND I had made plans to pick up my new glasses tomorrow, since we have a reprieve don't have Admin on Thursday. We still have a reading assignment, mind you - we just don't have to be subjected to an hour of full-on socratic anxiety.

Life was good. (Again – note the use of the past tense.)

Until I visited the Financial Aid office. Who informed me that because I was planning to visit a different school next year, I probably wouldn't get any financial aid unless I got a consortium agreement. After already having been told that "the University has a strict policy of not seeking financial aid on behalf of students not attending TVPNU," I feel like the chances of this are slim to none. And as E.Spat would say, Slim's out of town. So now I'm freaking out about not only how I'm going to get into another school to visit, but also how to pay for it. All because Mr. Q is being sent to a new job. To their credit, they did their damndest to get rid of me early.

Them: Oh, you should really talk to the law school about that!

Me: Amos (our financial aid guy) said to come see you.

Them: Oh.

Then I did my best to convince them that I was still going to be a TVPNU student, and therefore, they should request aid on my behalf. Since last time I checked, my degree was still going to say "TVPNU" on it.

Them: So, you're still going to be a student here?

Me: Yes.

Them: But you'll be registering for classes there?

Me: Yes.

Them: You won't be registering for classes here?

Me: No. Oddly enough - the professors here will NOT be holding classes in Washington DC next fall for my convenience.

Them: Oh. That might be a problem.

I really hate feeling like all I represent to them is a tuition check. A big, fat tuition check paid by the federal government. Which is the big thing that confuses me - if the money is coming from the feds - why should it really matter where I spend it?

Them: Well, there's eligibility criteria. You have to be a student. [check] At an accredited institution [check check]. And meeting minimum attendance and performance standards. [um..minimum standards...check]

Me: Ok, so I don't see the problem.

Them: Well - we can only certify to our own students. If you're going to a different school, we have no way of knowing if you're meeting those criteria.

Me: So, you're saying that if the other school certified all those things to you, it wouldn't be good enough?

Them: AND, we have no idea if the school you'd be taking classes at is accredited.

Me: Ummmm...well, what if the ABA thinks it is?

Later in the day, some guy called me a cynic when I said this school would never see another dime of my money. Hah! If he only knew.

posted by Legal Quandary at 23:03 | 1 comments

This Study Break Brought to You By:

E. Spat and some yummy cupcakes and ice cream.

I have not clue one what this quiz means, and quite honestly, don't think it is especially accurate. Maybe it's just because I didn't understand what half the questions were getting at.

Note: I took the quiz results down because they were seriously messing with the spacing. If you are really dying to take this quiz, go to What is Your World View?

I forget what my results were.

posted by Legal Quandary at 01:44 | 1 comments

Rain.

It's raining again.

Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't always rain here in TVPNM. I'm not saying we don't get a little rain most days (we do - except during the past few summers), but it's usually a light drizzle that sort of comes and goes. Mr. Q says it's like the misters in the produce section of the grocery store.

Except that the last couple of days, we've had some really heavy rain. And it's doing it again.

I have 2 problems with this.

1) I cannot wear sandals and show off my now colorful toenails.

2) It makes me really sleepy.

*sigh* Back to our regularly scheduled 36 pages of Admin reading.

posted by Legal Quandary at 00:45 | 0 comments

The Keys to My Heart

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Blogthings, of course.

posted by Legal Quandary at 02:06 | 0 comments

Freak-A-Deaky

What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious. You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep. Overall, you are very content in your life. Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities. You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind.

From Blogthings - where else?

posted by Legal Quandary at 02:01 | 0 comments

Bragging Rights and a Restaurant Review Rolled Into One

I mentioned that EC was going to be reading at the opening of the new TVPNM City Hall today. It went really well. The City Hall is really amazing and beautiful. Part of me was in awe. The other part of me wondered where the hell they got off spending that much money on a new City Hall when they're talking about closing schools and increasing class sizes because of lack of funding.

But I digress.

There were several events going on, and unfortunately, our little "Literary Stage" was not well attended. Mainly because we were off the beaten path in the City Council Chamber and because there were people in costumes dancing in the lobby. [As a general rule: people in costumes dancing = always more interesting than poetry readings]

But the City Councilman who was in charge of the Literary part did a nice job (but was wearing a really awful suit. I'm sorry - I'm sure he's a very nice man, but it Just.Needs.Saying. It was a terrible suit. I couldn't believe a politician could get away with wearing something like that.)

er...sorry. Digression again.

Apparently, TVPNM is reinstating their Poet Populist program, and they had one former Poet Laureat and one former Poet Populist (I couldn't tell you what the difference between the two is) there to read.

Mona Lake Jones was the former Poet Laureat and she was A-MAZ-ING! She got up to speak, and I thought she was doing introductory comments and I realized that she was actually performing - and it just flowed. Her expressions were so beautiful - I really could have listened to her all day. And I don't usually consider myself a poetry lover. I wanted to encourage her to become a law professor just so I could listen to her lecture - I swear I would never surf the web in her class. Um, not that I do that anyway - because that would be rude and irresponsible.

Bart Baxter was the former Poet Populist. (He looks a lot friendlier in person). He's a baseball fanatic and his poem was about his grandmother and how she hated the New York Yankees. How can you not love that?

Indu Sundaresan read from her novel The Twentieth Wife. I think I will be buying a copy of this and her second novel, the Feast of Roses, for after finals.

There was also a student who came to the United States from Iraq just 3 years ago. He talked about how his father and uncle were taken by Saddam and how they didn't know what had happened to them until 7 years later - when they got a phone call in Jordan from them. He talked about moving to the US, and attending the special TVPNM school for Bi-Lingual Orientation. He spoke in both English and Arabic. Really amazing.

The Global Reading Challenge kids were the last to read. EC read from The Kite Fighters, and one of her teammates read from I Was A Rat! Both of them did so well! I was so proud.

After all the festivities, we headed out to my very favorite Thai restaurant. So yummy. Their red curry is amazing. Mr. Q ordered a dish with peanut sauce - something I'm not generally a big fan of, but this was really excellent. EC had the Pad See Ewe. The meat was well seasoned, but she wasn't a huge fan of the noodles - they were a lot like Chow Fun, which neither of us really like. Lil Q gobbled them up though. As much as I like the restaurant, I don't recommend their fried Spring Rolls. They just aren't as flavorful as they should be - try one of the soups instead.

Not only do they have fantastic food, but the atmosphere is really nice. It's beautifully decorated, with nice artwork here and there, and fresh flowers on the tables. However, someone got the bright idea to hang this in the front window.



It looks like the menu - which is exactly what it is. But it's on a motorized roller, so it scrolls continuously. Picture one of those cloth towel dispensers in the restrooms - same concept. So tacky.

Also, a note to the folks dining at the table next to us. 1) It's not necessary to project your voice so that it fills the entire restaurant. There were only six of you. 2) For the gentleman who kept his cellphone plastered to his ear the entire time - even while ordering - you are a jackass and will assuredly die of brain cancer. NOTHING you are saying is that important that you couldn't PUT DOWN THE PHONE for the 30 seconds it takes to order.

Ok, so this post didn't have much of a point, and for that I apologize. It was a pretty good day and I just felt like sharing it. Blame my lack of writing ability - I'm off to bed!

Whe-Woo - pedicures tomorrow! Yay!

posted by Legal Quandary at 00:33 | 0 comments

The Play. A Review.

Chas: What'd you think, dad?

Royal: It didn't seem believable to me.

Chas: Did you think the characters were...

Royal: What characters? It was just a bunch of little kids dressed in animal costumes....Sweetie. Don't get mad. That's just one man's opinion.

posted by Legal Quandary at 22:25 | 1 comments

Come On Over To the Dark Side

It'll be a hoot.

posted by Legal Quandary at 22:20 | 0 comments

I'm a Shirker...

Shirk...there's a funny word. As seen over at Brian's place. Whose birthday is apparently the same day as Mr. Q's.

Your Birthdate: January 23

With a birthday on the 23rd of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility. Very sociable, you make friends easily and you are an excellent traveling companion.

posted by Legal Quandary at 22:02 | 1 comments

We're Not Last! We're Not Last!

Congratulations to the Radioactive Readers from Kalamazoo, MI. They won the Global Reading Challenge competition this morning. EC’s team only missed one question in the scored rounds, but that was enough.

Regardless of today’s results, I’m so proud of EC and the rest of her team. They really put a lot of work into preparing for the competition, and I think it was a great experience for them. I also want to thank her school librarian, who gave up her own lunch hours and breaks to help coach the kids – especially during the last couple of weeks.

If any of you have kids – GRC is a great program. I encourage you to talk to your local library about getting a program like this started in your area if they don’t already have one.

Thanks, as always, to everyone who was pulling for EC and her team!

posted by Legal Quandary at 18:56 | 0 comments

13 Spies

This week's edition of Friday Spies is brought to you by BTQ. Of course, so is every other edition...

1. If you could change any element of your physical appearance, would you? If so, what would you change? If you could change any aspect of your personality would you?

Oooh…can I pick more than one physical feature to change? I would have my nose re-done, and have them reduce the shadows below my eyes in a HEARTBEAT. I would also get my forehead smoothed out a bit. I come from a long line of scowlers, and it’s starting to show. *sigh*

I would be more patient, especially with my kids. And less critical of others. And spread love and joy to the world. Who am I kidding? I would change whatever aspect of my personality is getting in the way of my scintillating wit and natural brilliance from shining through and allowing me to take over the world. Bwahahaha!

2. Name a good make-out song (I believe the kids these days would call that "baby-making music").

Ummm…as a rule, I try NOT to make any babies while in law school, since Lil Q is the reason I am not a 3L this year.

3. What did Britney say to Kevin when she found out she was pregnant? What was his response?

Her: Hot Dog! I’m knocked up!

Him: Does this mean I gotta get a job?

4. Did Oswald act alone?

Yes. Very alone. In the dark. And the rain.

5. Are you superstitious? Do you believe in luck, karma, fate, the supernatural, etc?

Obviously, I believe in all that. After all, I keep asking for everyone to send good karma and psychic energy this way. Reminder that you've got just under 3 hours to help EC out in today’s competition…

posted by Legal Quandary at 10:15 | 0 comments

Because a Personal Sense of Style is Important

Especially when sleeping.



Yes, friends, it's a tutu.

Also, I just wanted to ask one last time for your prayers, good wishes, karma, or whatever, for EC tomorrow as her team goes up for the final round of the Global Reading Challenge against the team from Kalamazoo. Thanks again for all your psychic energy so far!!

EC will be performing in her play tomorrow evening. AND reading at the opening of the new TVPNM City Hall on Saturday. It's a little sad that my 10 year old has a better social schedule than I do. *sigh*

posted by Legal Quandary at 02:09 | 1 comments

Conversation Overheard in the Hall

It sounded dirty, but probably wasn't.

"It’s really therapeutic…with a tennis ball. You know – it feels so good."

posted by Legal Quandary at 23:32 | 1 comments

Here We Are Now

Entertain us...

So Bored. Not that I don't have things I really *ought* to be doing. Because I do.

I just don't want to.

And I'm sitting here debating whether I want to get up at 4 AM to watch the webfeed of Mr. Q's cousin's wedding planned elopement.

I'm torn on the whole issue. Not that I'm not happy for her and everything, it's just I think it's sort of contrived to "plan" for 6 months to elope. Also, it smacks of "I don't want to go to the trouble of planning a wedding and have to feed all of you, so please just send gifts and save everyone the time and trouble."

I guess it's her right to decide what she wants her wedding to be like, but if you're not going to invite me to the real thing, I guess I don't want to be invited to the webcast either. So there's my moment of snarkiness for the evening.

Isn't anyone else online????? I REALLY need something more exciting than this to distract me from Admin.

posted by Legal Quandary at 23:38 | 4 comments

Greed and Wrath. Sounds Like the Makings of A Good Day.

Your Deadly Sins

Greed: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Sloth: 20%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die loved and feared by many. And you'll be buried in a tomb.

As seen on Blogthings.

posted by Legal Quandary at 19:29 | 0 comments

Leader of the Plaque

EC and I had dentist appointments today. I tried to take photos of my now blindingly white teeth, but they all looked creepy, so I didn't post them. (It's hard to take pictures of just a smiling mouth without them looking strange.)

My dentist is very good at what he does. I always walk out feeling like my teeth are nice and clean, and he doesn't rip your gums to shreds in the process. I'm glad he's good at what he does, because I fear he's not too bright in other respects.

First, he talks to me while he's prodding around in my mouth. Why? He knows I can't answer. And then when I do answer, his responses don't make sense.

For example. I took my Professional Responsibility book with me since finals are coming up and I thought it might be good to have at least peeked inside the covers before then. I'm reading away as he comes into the room. He asks me what I'm reading and after I respond..."So, are there any dentists in there?" Huh? I figure he's just confused as to what PR is, and explain it's a book about the profession ethics of the legal profession - kinda like the medical profession has ethical guidelines that govern them. But then starts asking me what rules he should be worried about.

Me: Ummm...I don't know. None - unless you're a lawyer on the side.

Him: No, but I do have a real estate business on the side.

Great.

Later, during the tooth scraping part...

Him: So...what kind of law do you want to practice?

Me: Well, I'm hoping to go back on active duty, and that's a mixed bag, but I really like Labor and Employment law.

Him: Oh yeah! They came out and inspected me about two weeks ago. He was a really nice guy and it was kinda fun digging through the records. Only took a couple of hours.

Me: ????

During the polishing...

Him: So...the Air Force, huh? Did you go to the Academy?

Me: No, I went through Officer Training School.

Him: Oh yeah? What do they call that? I think in the Army, we call that OIC, Officer In Charge.

Me: Umm...you mean OCS? The Air Force calls it OTS - Officer Training School.

Him: Right. Yeah. OCS. Maybe I had it confused with NCO.

Of course.

posted by Legal Quandary at 18:36 | 0 comments

Nu Shooz

Since E.McPan heartily endorsed Zappos, I thought I should give them a try too.

I've been looking for tennis shoes for several weeks, because the pain in my feet had just become unbearable. I guess that's what happens when you only replace your tennis shoes once every 3 years.

Since the local stores don't seem to carry anything that fits me, I had picked out a pair on Zappos, and was all set to ask if anyone had ever used them before placing my order when I saw McPan's post. It was like there was a psychic link or something. Except that the shoes I picked out aren't sexy heels. They are kinda pink though.

I Can't Wait.*

* My sincere half-hearted apologies for the lame 1980s music reference.

posted by Legal Quandary at 22:43 | 1 comments

I HEART pedicures

OK – I know some people don’t like pedicures because they have a thing about having strangers touch their feet. I am not one of those people.

Which is why I was completely thrilled to get a gift certificate here for Mother’s Day.

How did I get so lucky as to have my family give me such a fantabulous gift? Ladies, take note – I asked for it. Specifically, on Thursday evening, I came home and told Mr Q “If you haven’t gotten my Mother’s Day gift yet, a gift certificate for a pedicure would be a good pick.”

EC got a gift certificate for Christmas, and we have an appointment on Sunday afternoon to do a little mother-daughter bonding while being pampered. Hooray! Just in time for sandal season.

posted by Legal Quandary at 13:50 | 1 comments

The Words That Strike Fear In the Heart of Every Parent

Or at least those who have run out of diapers.

“Mommy – I poopy! A bee* one!”

*big

posted by Legal Quandary at 13:36 | 0 comments

Caffeinated State

I’m a little worried about my ability to sustain my coffee habit after the great migration. No – I don’t worry that I’m drinking too much. I’m more concerned that when we move it will 1) become too expensive 2) be too complicated.

The expensive part is more or less self-explanatory. At $4 a cup, Starbucks gets pricey pretty damned quick. I’m trying to brew a pot at home a couple days a week, but some most days, a girl just needs a mocha. Or a latte. With an extra shot.

I’m lobbying hard for Mr. Q to catch on and just buy me a good espresso maker, but so far he hasn’t taken up the bait. Maybe if I kept all my Starbucks receipts for a month, he’d realize that said machine would pay for itself pretty quickly. Does anyone have a machine they love that won’t break the bank? (In the $200-$300 range.)

The second concern is also troublesome. When I first moved to TVPNM, I was an occasional coffee drinker – a social drinker, if you will. I started with the occasional nonfat mocha. My neighbor and I would go out for coffee maybe once a week. Once I started school, all bets were off. I started drinking coffee several times a week and just went up from there. The school didn’t help matters much by installing a coffee shop right in the building (though they make terrible coffee, so I typically go elsewhere). And the longer I’ve been here, the more complicated my coffee order has become. Just a normal nonfat mocha has evolved into a Venti (b/c anything else is just too small), 3 pump (b/c otherwise it’s too sweet), triple (not enough caffeine otherwise), nonfat, extra hot (b/c I have absolutely no use for cold coffee.)

This isn’t exactly out of place in TVPNM, but I worry about it in another part of the country. In fact, when we were in DC a couple of weeks ago, I stopped off at a Starbucks and rattled off my order. At first they just stared at me. Then I had to repeat myself. Twice. And they still missed the extra hot.

See why I need my own machine?

On another note - it irritates the snot out of me that there’s a guy in one of my classes who drinks his hot coffee through a straw. If you can’t drink it without a straw, you obviously don’t need the caffeine bad enough.

posted by Legal Quandary at 23:11 | 4 comments

Happy Mother's Day!

To all the fantastic women who've influenced my life...

To my mom - who taught me the importance of being able to stand on my own two feet.

To my foster mom - who taught me that sometimes it's ok to lean on others.

To my Oma - who raised 3 kids in WWII Germany and still managed to keep her sense of humor.

To my Grandma - who travelled and earned a college degree after she retired because there just wasn't money to do it when she was younger.

To EC - who taught (and is still teaching) me what it means to be utterly responsible for another human being...and to have to gradually let go.

To Lil Q - who reminds me to laugh a little bit every day.

And to all the other women in my life who keep me sane...Happy Mother's Day!!!

posted by Legal Quandary at 21:41 | 1 comments

Can Somebody Please 'Splain to Me

Why Starbucks' Marionberry* cake is a "seasonal" item, while the [vastly inferior] Marionberry Lowfat Muffins are not?

* A variant of the blackberry. Not to be confused with Marion Barry, former mayor of D.C. Or even Marion Berry, Representative of Arkansas' First District.

posted by Legal Quandary at 14:17 | 2 comments

Weird

Did you know Nissan makes a huge-ass SUV thing called an Armada? Did they bother to look the word up in the dictionary before deciding it just sounded cool?

I can just see the competition - the Chevy Battalion, the Oldsmobile Squadron, and the Volkswagon Brigade. Coming soon to a showroom near you.

posted by Legal Quandary at 13:02 | 2 comments

Friday Spies - The Seis de Mayo Edition

Fitz & Co. asked us to address these questions "if you survive the body shots, the bad tacos, and
the pinata bashing tonight." Sadly, my Cinco de Mayo consisted of leftover fajitas and canned refried beans followed by purchasing bedding plants from a woman named "Tree." Seriously.

But having a lame life myself is no reason to be a spoilsport, so here they are:

1. What is a food you have tried but will never eat again, and what
don't you like about it?

Oooh…here’s where marrying into a rather large Chinese family comes in handy. My two answers to this come from the same meal where I tried both tripe and chicken feet. The texture of tripe is just nasty – once it’s in your mouth, you’ve basically got the option of spitting it out (rude) or just chewing until the pieces are small enough to swallow (gross). The chicken feet might have been ok if the sauce were different. Other than that, they’re pretty much um…just skin and bones.

2. What are your five favorite possessions?

1. Laptop.

2. Wedding ring.

3. Bread maker

4. The cd player in my car. It's not super fancy or anything - just listening to music while driving makes me happy.

5. Starbucks card.

3. How do you deal with confrontation? Do you seek it out or do you
avoid it? Are you more apt to be the confronter or the confronted?

It depends. At school I tend to be very conflict avoidant and quiet. Everywhere else, I tend to seek it out – and I’m almost always the confronter.

4. What will Michael Jackson be doing five years from now?

Time.

5. What is the worst movie sequel ever made, what is the best sequel
ever, and what movie should have had a sequel but didn't?

The Good. Indiana Jones. Probably the Godfather, but I’ve never seen any of them, so I couldn’t really say.

The Bad. Jurassic Park, Romancing the Stone, Ghostbusters II, Hannibal – all bad, bad, sequels.

I tend not to be a big fan of sequels. If you can’t tell a story in 3 hours (give or take), it probably doesn’t need to be told. Either that or you need a better editor. Mr. Q is helping me with this one, and we’re looking at the “Perfect List” our local video store puts out. We’ve decided that all the really great movies didn’t need a sequel.

But here’s our short list of impossequels - sequels that [probably] couldn’t be made. Not because you asked, but because it amused us:

1. Schindler’s List

2. American Beauty

3. Life is Beautiful

4. Braveheart

5. Amadeus

6. Thelma and Louise

7. Boys Don’t Cry

8. Titanic

9. West Side Story

10. Dead Man Walking

posted by Legal Quandary at 00:49 | 0 comments

Cubs Win! Cubs Win!

Congratulations to EC and thanks to everyone who sent their thoughts and good wishes this way!

EC and her team clinched the city Global Reading Challenge title last night, missing only 1 question! They'll go on to the internet final with the winner of the Kalamazoo, MI Challenge next Friday, so I'll be asking for more cosmic energy then!

One interesting thing about the finals. At the beginning, the librarians read off a list of rules...including one prohibiting betting. Apparently it had been an issue in the past. I guess the 10 year old set is more sophisticated than when I was going to school. (Or maybe it's the parents betting - I can't figure out which is more pathetic.)

Also Congratulations and Happy Birthday to Uncle Q, who is now officially retired!

posted by Legal Quandary at 10:55 | 1 comments

Someone After My Own Heart

This is a super fantabulous idea!

That will be all.

Hat tip: Boing Boing. For some reason Blogger isn't letting me link.

posted by Legal Quandary at 14:58 | 0 comments

There's No Business Like Show Business!

Thanks to those of you who responded to my query about EC's punishment. After much soul searching and many extra chores on EC's part, we decided she could still be in the play.

The City Finals for the Global Reading Challenge are also coming up tomorrow. Once again, I'm asking for you to send good vibes EC's way. That's northwest-ish for most of you.

Please and thanks!

posted by Legal Quandary at 22:12 | 2 comments

We Are Not Amused

Some one keeps snapping the buckles on my backpack – you know, the ones that are supposed to snap across the front to help displace the weight off your back. The problem is that these are supposed to be snapped after the backpack is on my back but not before.

I’m sure somebody thinks this is funny. And it always takes a little while for me to notice b/c I usually do the one shoulder thing like you’re not supposed to do. It's extra special irritating when you’re walking with a full backpack, and a computer bag, and something to eat and you suddenly realize you can’t just swing the backpack over your other shoulder because some SOB has buckled the snaps. Because they think it’s funny.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is:

If you’re the one doing this – knock it the fuck off.

Love,

LQ

posted by Legal Quandary at 16:14 | 2 comments

Seeking Opinions

As usual...

I'm shopping for new glasses, since my old ones broke. I found a couple of pairs this weekend, and then sort of fell in love with these yesterday. Of course they're expensive once you plunk the prescription lenses into them. I'm also considering doing the Transitions lenses, since they don't make the little magnetic sunglass thingies for these and I don't want to fork over another couple hundred bucks for prescription sunglasses. Especially since I wear my contacts most days.

As usual...I'm looking for advice from random strangers. For those of you who know me "in real life," how do you think these would look on me? Even if you don't know me...what do you think? Also - has anyone gotten Transition lenses? I know they used to be pretty ugly, but the salespeople assure me they are "much better" now.

posted by Legal Quandary at 12:25 | 4 comments

Why I Need a New Bottle Opener

A Plea for help. In Pictures.

The World's Crappiest Bottle Opener:


Plus One So-So Bottle of Wine:

Equals This:

Look a Little Closer:

Resulting in This:


Save better bottles of wine from a similar fate. Donate a good bottle opener - preferably one of these - to LQ today. Email for Shipping Instructions.

posted by Legal Quandary at 01:49 | 1 comments

See...It's NOT Just Me...

Way back, in a fit of annoyance, I wrote this [rather pathetic] post about the lowermybills.com ads.

Seems there's a whole blog dedicated to ridiculing these inane ads.

Ok...so there's not a LOT of other people irritated by these, but still - it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

posted by Legal Quandary at 01:28 | 0 comments