Nice-N-Easy
I am coloring my hair. Why? Because I'm headed to DC next weekend to meet with the realtor and look at houses. So, yes, I am doing this for the benefit of some superficial real estate agent, in the hopes that if I cover the roots that are going grey, I'll look younger. Or more affluent. Or something. Not that he really gives a shit, since he's already looked at our loan approval numbers and made his judgments about us based on those.
At any rate, I'm reading the instructions on this package of hair color. Because truth be told, it's gotta be done whether I impress a realtor or not, and now is just as good a time as any. It says I'm supposed to "apply to damp hair that is free of styling product build-up" yet I shouldn't "shampoo immediately before coloring." Maybe I've been in law school too long, but these seem to be ambiguous terms.
First of all - what exactly is "damp?" Does that mean get my hair wet in the sink and now I'm good to go? Or just towel dry? Or do I need to sit around for awhile to let some more water evaporate out? Could I have just spritzed my hair with some water and called that good?
Second - what exactly constitutes "styling product build-up?" I mean, I used some Aveda product yesterday that's supposed to help my hair maintain it's curl form (whatever the hell that means.) Is that build-up? If so - the package also says I'm not supposed to wash my hair right before coloring - should I have washed it yesterday and walked around with my hair all frizzy and unkempt because I couldn't put any stuff in it? Or just washed it right before bed last night (nope - I was too tipsy!)
I'm confused.
The other thing I've done so far today is clean our main living area. We have one of those combined kitchen/dining/living room areas. Just like base housing, only way more expensive. While I generally try to keep it clean but not necessarily uncluttered (there's a difference), today I cleaned because one of Mr. Q's friends is visiting tomorrow. You might even say his best friend, since he was the best man at our wedding. Although Mr. Q was NOT the best man at HIS wedding, so I don't think the feeling is mutual. Also, his wife doesn't like me. I don't know why exactly, but it's pretty consistent with the rest of my life. Women, on the whole, don't tend to like me. I've never been able to figure that one out. Other people I know can go out, meet perfect strangers, and be yakking away like they've known each other for years. Not me.
Mr. Q's friend and his wife are freakishly clean people. Their house is ALWAYS immaculate. They also don't have children, but they're the type who even if they did, would keep their house freakishly clean. Unfortunately, they're freakishly clean AND judgmental people. The friend was once at Mr. Q's apartment (long before we were married) and wiped his finger along the dusty television. He held the finger out to Mr. Q, shook his head, and said his first name in that "I'm so disappointed in you" tone of voice. So the whole idea of them visiting tomorrow is completely stressing me out.
But I have to go now. I think my hair is just the right degree of damp and I'd hate to miss a window of opportunity like that.
posted by Legal Quandary at
16:36
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