Legal Quandary

Friday Spies

This is late (as usual) and it's not my fault (for a change).

1. What is the best thing about the city in which you live? What is the worst?

Best: I think I’ve posted about this before. Despite the fact that we live in a “big city” (though I would argue it’s not really that big compared to, say, Chicago or D.C.), the neighborhoods are pretty distinct and have their own personalities.

Worst: Here’s where I sound like a really mean person. I hate going to the grocery store and having people hit me up for money. Every. Damned. Time. I mean, Salvation Army at Christmas is one thing, but this is almost every store, all the time. I understand people there are homeless out there, and I believe in giving to charity. I get that I’ve had more opportunities in life than some other people. But every time I visit Whole Foods to buy my “Mighty-O” vegan doughnut (strange as it sounds – they’re very good – especially the ones with chocolate and flaked coconut), there’s a guy sitting on his lawn chair outside selling the homeless newspaper. Somehow that doesn’t really seem like work to me. Yes, I might sit on my ass for a living too (well, I hope to earn a living at it eventually – right now, I’m paying for the privilege), but I’m not essentially begging passersby to support my ass sitting. And I resent being made to feel guilty about spending the money I (or more accurately, my husband) worked to earn.

2. Describe an idea or invention of yours that you would like to see turned into reality.

Someday I’m going to write that novel. And/or open the law office/bakery with E.Spat. I’m torn between “Queen of Tortes” or “Intentional Tortes” for a name.

I also plan to have a huge family and buy up a lot of land. Each Quandary child will be encouraged to pursue a different useful career. Then we will set up our own little empire on our land, where we could be self-sufficient if need be. When the revolution comes, we’ll be ready.

One of these ideas may or may not be a complete lie.

3. Name an overrated author, musician, and movie. Name an underrated author, musician, and movie.

You ask this question as if you think I actually have time to read (other than all your blogs, of course), listen to music, or watch movies. Haven’t you been listening? Don’t you know that Admin law is the only thing I have time for????

All ranting aside.

Overrated author: Any celebrity who writes anything about how “hard” it is to be famous. How nobody respects your privacy and as a result you ended up with your bizarre eating/drinking/drug/sex problems. Boo freaking hoo.
Overrated musician: Anyone who has appeared on American Idol. I’ve never watched, but any time I hear a snippet of anything one of these “stars” sings, I think it’s just utter crap.
Overrated movie: I’m going to catch such flak for this, but, um, I’m really more than a little confused about the whole Star Wars thing. I saw the original a few weeks after it came out and I was SO disappointed. EVERYONE at school had been talking about it. My mom and I went with Robbie True and his mom. Robbie could barely choke down his Shakey’s pizza, he was so excited to get to the movie theater. I guess I was excited too, and then we got there and I just didn’t know what all the fuss was about.

And I’ve never really caught on. I’m sure I’ll see this last movie eventually (did I even see the one before this one??? I forget…) but I’m just ambivalent.

Underrated author: I honestly can’t think of any authors that stand out in my mind as “underrated.” If I love them, everyone else must too, right? Right????
Underrated musician: Dar Williams. When Mr. Q and I were first dating, he put together this tape (yeah, back in the days before cd burners were reasonably priced). It started out with Joan Osborne’s “St. Theresa,” and then launched into “Are You Out There.” And I was hooked, but very few other people seem to know who she is.
Underrated movie: “Room With a View” is one of my all time favorites, but I don’t think anyone else has seen it. Definite chick-flick. But I love it. So there.

4. If your life were a sitcom slated to air in the fall, what would the show be called? Who would you cast in the starring role? And for extra credit, give us a brief treatment of the show.

Let’s just go with “Intentional Tortes” about a lawyer (fabulously successful, of course) who decides to give up a lucrative practice to become a pastry chef and run her own bakery while dealing with the day to day foibles of raising two kids. With a lovable but quirky husband.

People love her cakes (and especially the cupcakes), but also come in for coffee and legal advice, and the lawyer is constantly ending up going to bat for one of the regular customers. I see scenes of her rushing into the courthouse to argue passionately on behalf of her client, with her elder daughter chasing her to remind her to take off her apron and wipe the flour off her face (because moments before she was rescuing her bakery from some disaster.)

Maybe Patricia Heaton? She’s a bit older than I am…but once you factor in the whole years of lucrative practice part, it might work out.

5. When is the fun supposed to start?

I don’t even know what this question is asking – but I know I keep asking myself the same thing.

posted by Legal Quandary at 17:31