Legal Quandary

Dear "Smallman", "Jon", "Enlargement", and "8709",

If those are your real names, which I seriously doubt.

I don't know what I've done to earn your attention, but I wish you'd stop showering it upon me.

I know you say that you were "searching blogs, and came onto yours, and I like it. I kinda landed here on accident while searching for something esle, but nice blog...I got you bookmarked."*

Here's the thing. I don't believe you. In fact, I think you are all big fat liars.

Why do I think that? Well...hmmm...where to start. You all posted nearly identical messages within hours of one another claiming to have come upon my blog accidently. While flattery will normally get you everywhere, you might note that complements should have a ring of truth about them. Do yourselves a favor and at least coordinate amongst yourselves so that you're not copying each other. Also - one might reasonably assume that if you were truly "searching" blogs, the blogs you chose to "bookmark" might bear some relation to your own. To the best of my knowledge, I have made reference to diabetes (Smallman) exactly once in a rant against my ex-husband and the poor diet he inflicts on our child. I've mentioned hair removal techniques (Enlargement) only once - in the comments of someone else's blog. I've NEVER talked about Male Genitalia Enhancement (8709) nor have I ever mentioned birthday horoscopes (Jon). It's not what I do. And I wish you wouldn't either - or at least not on *my* blog.

Just as I do not maintain a telephone for the convenience of telemarketers, I don't write this blog for YOU to try to make money off of it by advertising your own site - which, judging by the names and some of the content, are of dubious value to anyone. Look, I said that I would be willing to entertain offers for my endorsement, so if you're willing to cough up some fees, fine.

Until then - knock it the fuck off.

Sincerely,

LQ

ps - if any of you are legit - please feel free to send me an email (address off the the left there...) and explain yourself. I'll give you equal time. Until then, consider me on your "Do Not Blog" list.

* nice spelling job. Dumbfuck. Also - as E.Spat so aptly points out - your name speaks volumes.

posted by Legal Quandary at 17:25