Legal Quandary

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

LQ's Question of the Day

If you could surgically enhance the appearance of any one feature of your body, what would it be?

When I was on active duty, this topic actually made for a lengthy discussion during Group Battle Staff one day. (For those unfamiliar with Battle Staff, you tend to work 12 hour shifts and are stuck in one room with about a dozen others of similar rank with very little to do unless the exercise is heating up for some reason. Everyone brings work with them, but there are definitely times when all that's going on is chit-chat.)

Anyway, my answer at the time was that I'd have my nose done. It's always been a little larger than I'd like and had a small bump on the bridge. People used to ask me if I'd broken it because of the bump. (I hadn't.) Less than a year later, I did end up breaking my nose and later had surgery to correct it. I'm not sure it's really much different than it was - except it's probably worse now that it actually has been broken - but I guess I've just come to terms with it.

These days, I want to do something to reduce the amount of crinkling that's going on around my eyes.

Um, I'd be taller. Technically, they have surgery for that, but I wouldn't want to endure it. Other than that, maybe I'd have a face transplant because I'd like a nicer smile, which I don't think they can just fix.

Since "tall" surgery and a new face seem unlikely, I guess I would have lipo. Then I could put my thighs into some of my clothes.
Hmm. I have a big nose, but it balances my little face, so I'd have to go with fixing the wrinkles around my eyes too!
Crinkles lend character. I am so tired of all those baby-faced teenagers the media makes so much of....
Speaking as someone who *has* surgically enhanced the appearance of a couple of features on my body, I can say now that my biggest complaint about my body is my waistline. If I thought liposuction was actually safe and effective (which I do not -- especially in overweight cases like mine) I think I'd do it.

I've also thought about the wrinkles around my eyes, but everyone I've even been close to has begged me not to do it, saying that they think my eyes are so beautiful and the lines so reflective of the fact that I love to laugh. So, in the end (nearly a pun, but it misses by *this* much), I'd only do my waistline and hips.
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