Legal Quandary

Thursday, February 10, 2005

De-Tox, Day 1

I started my de-tox program yesterday. Degree of success so far? Only limited. There's three little dropper vials, a bag of tea, and a bottle of powder involved. I can't really stuff all that into my backpack and expect to be able to take books as well. Since I'm typically on my way to school, books win.

Yesterday, however, I skipped all but one of my classes to attend the Starbucks Shareholder's meeting. I'll write about that later, but I wasn't dragging all that stuff with me there either.

This whole de-tox thing is pretty complicated.

Step 1. "Immediately" upon waking, I'm suppose to drink 2 cups of the tea. Yeah, right. "Immediately" upon waking, I have to pick up a toddler and negotiate breakfast for her. She eats oatmeal most days, but some days it takes time to figure out that she's trying to tell me she wants something different and what that something different is. Yesterday was one of those days. When I finally got around to making the tea, I was surprised to find the leaves were very colorful. Mostly bright green, but also some yellow-orange flowers. It's very minty and actually doesn't taste too bad, but it's definitely more palatable when its warm.

Step 2. Mix 1 Tbsp of the "GI Gel Plus Fiber" with 8 oz of juice or water, shake well and drink right away, because "it will start to gel immediately." (They're big fans of the word "immediately.) Yummy. I mixed mine with some Cranberry/Grape juice. After the first sip, I KNEW this was going to be the product that would help me lose weight. Mainly because I instantly wanted to retch. I managed to gag (and keep) it down. But seriously - vile. Not only did it convert my normally tasty juice to a gritty/powdery quasi-liquid, but it has a nasty aftertaste. Blech. And I'm supposed to do this twice a day. The second one just didn't happen yesterday. I did manage to choke it down this morning by mixing with apple juice and employing the old grade school trick of not breathing while gulping it down really fast. I made the mistake of breathing again too soon - same nasty aftertaste.

Step 3. Mix 2 droppersful of each of the 3 tonics with juice or water. Yesterday I blended all 6 droppersful into a mix of frozen berries and pineapple-orange-strawberry juice, and it wasn't bad. Today I downed it with just a shot of apple juice. Dis.Gust.Ing. I'll go back to my berry shake tomorrow.

Repeat all of this at lunch time, drink more tea, and then only the tonics before dinner. No weight loss yet, but I do notice that I have to pee every 5 minutes. Maybe drinking so much will mean there's just no room for food, but I have to confess, I have my doubts.

Comments:
Wow! You are a seriously dedicated woman to take that on. I know I would benefit from it. But, I cannot abide stuff that tastes that bad. My ex used to put an herb called "Goldenseal" down my throat when I got sick. I finally just told her - I would rather die than taste that again.

Good luck with your de-tox and your Lent programs!
 
Thanks - the sugar part really isn't so bad, though I do find myself frequently thinking about things I wouldn't normally eat, like frozen Snicker's bars, McDonald's sundaes, etc.
Last night I was seriously debating whether to continue with this whole detox, but I got up this morning and dutifully chugged down the vile stuff. I don't know if I'm supposed to mix the tonics in with the fiber gel/juice mixture, but I figure drinking 1 nasty liquid is better than 2. I was partly inspired yesterday by a friend. When I told him what I was doing he said 2 things. First, "oooh...you are gonna lose so much weight" (speaking of the combination of no sugar/de-tox), and second "I did one of those and felt great afterwards." So there you go, it doesn't take much to encourage me in my compulsive self-punishment measures.
Only 4 days to go.
 
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