Legal Quandary

Last Week of Debauchery…For Now.

For the past couple of years I have given up sugar for Lent.* This year, I’ll do it again. I already gave up soda at New Years, because I decided that much corn syrup can’t be good for anyone. Although this hasn’t stopped me from drinking my mochas, even though I’m positive that almost all chocolate syrup is about 99% corn syrup. And I don’t drink coffee or tea unless it’s sweetened. So I think it’s especially cruel that this year’s Starbucks Shareholder’s meeting is being held on…Ash Wednesday. Since this is the last year we’re likely to be in this part of the country, I’ve decided to go to the meeting. It’ll probably be phenomenally boring, but I still just wanted to see what a Shareholder’s meeting is like. Call it an extension of BusOrgs – a field trip, if you will.

At any rate, I have also decided to start my 6 weeks of deprivation with a “DeTox It” kit. Why? Mainly because I think it might help make the withdrawals from sugar a little less painful and help me lose a little weight. I seriously debated between the “DeTox” and the “Fresh Start” kit, because I think anything that includes something called “Blubberwack” is funny. However after consulting with one of the wellness consultants salesmen in the store, I went with the DeTox because “it was a little gentler on the G.I. Tract.” I have to admit, this makes me a little concerned about some of the side effects of the “G.I. Gel.” Does anyone have any experience with these products?

Before law school, I tended to be a nutrition fanatic. I cooked almost everything from scratch. I used to exercise regularly. And I used to feel a lot better. And up until this fall, I used to fit in a size 6.

So – here’s my plan. I will abstain from sugar for 6 weeks. I make exceptions for up to 1 tsp of brown sugar in oatmeal (because oatmeal is nasty without it, and that’s what I eat for breakfast most days), and for sugars naturally occurring in food. So fruit is still good. It’s fine in things like bread or Kashi cereal too – but not cookies or cake (since obviously, those are just a vehicle for sugar). No chocolate. No mochas. No coffee or tea. Also, in a fit of optimism, I obtained a "basket" at the gym. I think it's really a locker with ventilation holes, but if they want to call it a basket, I suppose I'll just let them.

And when Easter comes, I will completely stuff my face with all that is sweet and chocolately. Because everyone knows that Easter has the best candy.

posted by Legal Quandary at 16:45