Legal Quandary

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

An Afterthought.

I realized earlier today that there was actually another elementary experience that I could have brought up in this post.

When I was in the first grade, I got punched in the stomach by a boy named Dennis. I don't know exactly why he punched me, but I have a strong sense that I probably was not completely innocent in the matter. As you can imagine, being punched in the stomach by a boy totally took the wind out of my sails, and I immediately ran home and told my parents.

That night my dad called his dad. You know the drill. I don't recall if Dennis apologized or not, but he went to a different school the next year and I forgot about the whole thing.

Several years ago when I was about to move away from my home town, the phone rang at 1 in the morning.


Is this Legal?


Legal Quandary?


Who went to Bag O'Doughnuts Elementary?

Yes. Who is this?

This is Dennis. I punched you in the stomach in the first grade. I, um, was just calling to tell you I feel really bad about that and that I HAVE NEVER PUNCHED ANOTHER GIRL. EVER. Are you still mad at me?

Obviously, there was alcohol involved, but he seemed sincere, so I assured him that I was not mad at him any more. We ended up talking for a couple of hours and he convinced me to let him buy me a drink. [Note to self: get unlisted phone number]

We went out for a couple of drinks and went dancing at this off-the-beaten-path total dive bar. They played good music and had cheap drinks though. This is how I found out what happened to all the stoner kids from my high school because they were ALL there and probably still stoned.

I was already dating Mr. Q, so it was understood that this whole outing was to be completely platonic. Also, Dennis was not at all my type, so he didn't stand a chance anyway. But still - WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING GOING OUT WITH THIS GUY? HE COULD HAVE BEEN AN AX MURDERER!

If I ever disappear, now you all know I probably agreed to go out with some random guy who called me up in the middle of the night to apologize for something he did years ago.

OH he still single? HAHAHAHAHA. I'm drunk.
Bag'o Donuts Elementary? There has got to be a story behind that too. Mmmm, donuts.
How come I never heard that story?
Post a Comment

<< Home

Links to this post:

Create a Link