Legal Quandary

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

An Afterthought.

I realized earlier today that there was actually another elementary experience that I could have brought up in this post.

When I was in the first grade, I got punched in the stomach by a boy named Dennis. I don't know exactly why he punched me, but I have a strong sense that I probably was not completely innocent in the matter. As you can imagine, being punched in the stomach by a boy totally took the wind out of my sails, and I immediately ran home and told my parents.

That night my dad called his dad. You know the drill. I don't recall if Dennis apologized or not, but he went to a different school the next year and I forgot about the whole thing.

Several years ago when I was about to move away from my home town, the phone rang at 1 in the morning.

Hello?

Is this Legal?

Yes.

Legal Quandary?

Yes.

Who went to Bag O'Doughnuts Elementary?

Yes. Who is this?

This is Dennis. I punched you in the stomach in the first grade. I, um, was just calling to tell you I feel really bad about that and that I HAVE NEVER PUNCHED ANOTHER GIRL. EVER. Are you still mad at me?

Obviously, there was alcohol involved, but he seemed sincere, so I assured him that I was not mad at him any more. We ended up talking for a couple of hours and he convinced me to let him buy me a drink. [Note to self: get unlisted phone number]

We went out for a couple of drinks and went dancing at this off-the-beaten-path total dive bar. They played good music and had cheap drinks though. This is how I found out what happened to all the stoner kids from my high school because they were ALL there and probably still stoned.

I was already dating Mr. Q, so it was understood that this whole outing was to be completely platonic. Also, Dennis was not at all my type, so he didn't stand a chance anyway. But still - WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING GOING OUT WITH THIS GUY? HE COULD HAVE BEEN AN AX MURDERER!

If I ever disappear, now you all know I probably agreed to go out with some random guy who called me up in the middle of the night to apologize for something he did years ago.