Legal Quandary

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Bulletin Announcement

For the Male Parishioners of St. Jimbo's

Re: Dress Code

It has come to our attention that there has been some confusion among our male parishioners (under 60) regarding the Sunday Dress code. We have included the following suggestions to assist you in your Sunday wardrobing decisions. These are intended as guidance for regular Sunday mass during Ordinary time. The Dress code for weddings and/or funerals, Easter, and Christmas is not covered here. The subject will be addressed separately in an upcoming bulletin.

1. Khakis are the only acceptable pants option. You may express your individuality through the varying shades of khaki. We recommend that lighter shades, such as "stone" only be worn from Memorial Day through Labor Day. Shorts are strictly verboten regardless of outside temperature. One warm hour a week may encourage you to seriously reflect on the alternatives for eternity.

2. Jeans are permitted only if you are visiting. Indeed, if you are vacationing in our area, we highly encourage you to wear your jeans to Mass, as this allows us to easily identify you as an outsider. Visitors attending services more than 2 consecutive weeks will be expected to conform to the dress code of the rest of the congregation.

3. Belts are expected. Brown or black leather. No fabric.

4. Ditto for shoes. No sandals or sneakers. Brown leather loafers preferred. (Please be sure to match your shoes to your belt.)

5. Shirts. Collared shirt tucked into khaki pants. Polo-type shirts are acceptable. Suggested colors (in order of preference) are as follows: Blue, Green (Hunter or Sage), White, Black, and Yellow. Patterns (in order of perference) are: solid colors, tasteful stripes, and subdued plaids. We strongly suggest refraining from brighter colors - it tends to distract from the liturgy (this means you, Mr. Purple Shirt man.)

6. Women, Children, and Gentlemen over 60 may wear whatever they like, within the bounds of good taste. Please be sure garments cover adequately. This is especially important for our older gentlemen and teenaged girls.

We hope this guide will make everyone's Sunday more esthetically pleasing. If you are ever unsure as to whether you are dressed appropriately, please just look around. If no one within 4 pews has on an identical outfit, you may wish to consult the "Business Casual" section of the latest Eddie Bauer catalog.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

The Staff of St. Jimbo's

Didn't Christ wear sandles?
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