Legal Quandary

Friday, January 07, 2005

Offensive* Attack

* Pick either pronunciation/definition and you are right.

Some readers have praised me for not talking incessantly about my children. And while it is my general policy to never let my children define who I am because it is detrimental to the power balance in my home (I have the power and they don't), this post is about Little Quandary. If you aren't into that - you might want to skip this post.

Little Q wanted to have juice with dinner tonight. Actually, she would drink juice all day long if we would let her, as would any other child, because it is essentially sugar water with some good stuff mixed in. But I digress. After briefly trying to persuade her that what she really wanted was a nice cup of milk, I gave in and poured some watered down apple juice into a sippy cup.

This was simply not acceptable. Little Q wanted to drink it out of a different cup - think plastic beer cup - which, as anyone who has ever drunk beer from one of these knows, does not have a lid. Apple juice is sticky. There should be a lid involved.

Fine. You don't like that cup? We'll pour it into a different sippy cup. Still not good enough - she wants to help pour the juice (keep in mind, she's shrieking like a banshee here). She knocks the cup off the table and kicks it a couple of times. This earns her some time out on the stairs, which does absolutely nothing for the shrieking situation.

When she comes back, she's still so incensed at being offered the juice in the WRONG. DAMNED. SIPPY. CUP (what the HELL is wrong with you, mother?!!!) that she runs to the couch, throws herself against the cushions, blows snot out her nose and smears it onto the couch. Once she's done there, she finds a suitable spot on the area rug and does the same thing. For good measure, she runs back to the table, blows some more mucus out and rubs it around the side of the table with her nose. The Elder Child and I could barely contain ourselves. Ok, we were laughing out loud.

After the time out that obviously ensued, we poured the juice into the original sippy cup and she chugged the juice down in, like, 1.6 seconds. And then ate dinner like nothing ever happened.

Where exactly does a child learn that mucus makes a semi-effective weapon against your parents?

I don't know but I can totally relate to this post. My question is, why do kids like juice so much? I don't recall having a thing for juice, nor any of my siblings having one either.

Should I have children, there will be a no juice policy. Seriously. I never want to experience the incessant Juice! Juice! Juice!-ing.
Sadly, Little Q has not mastered the finishing touches on the word, so she walks around begging for "Jew! Jew!"

So, theoretically she could be also begging for "jewels," which would be smart on her part, or just protesting our religion. I'm sure we'll know someday.

You're Right. Better to stick with the no juice policy. Too bad we've already blown it.
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