Legal Quandary

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Go Here. Read This.

If you hate Britney Spears.

Link via Energy Spatula.

Dear Mr. Professor in our Employment Law Classroom,

Would it be too much to ask for you to wrap class up by the time the bell rings, or at least within a minute or two afterward. Because it's really getting old that every day I have to stand outside the door holding my laptop and books while you blather on for another 5-10 minutes. I mean, we're 8 weeks into the quarter - maybe you could figure out that you only have 50 minutes for class.

Just a thought.



Worst. Mother. Ever.

The Elder Child lost a tooth at school yesterday. The school was nice enough to give her a little tooth shaped pouch to bring it home in, which of course she made sure to show me. And I totally forgot to play tooth fairy.

I know that maybe I shouldn't encourage her belief in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, but kids are only little so long, ya know?

So...anyone got any good ideas on how to make this up to her without totally destroying the fiction? The only thing I can come up with is a $5 giftcard to Starbucks - mainly because going to Starbucks always makes me feel better.


I Am Profound and Have Nice Legs.

Before I head off to bed (without reading for either Bus Orgs or Employment Law, I might add), I'll post this. Several other people had posts about this a week or three ago. What can I say, I've been busy being rugged and disciplined. And profound - don't forget profound.

I'm not totally sure how I feel about this. There are parts I think are quite accurate. Others, not so much. I've never chopped wood in my life, but I do have nice legs.

Leave me a comment or zip me an email - apparently I'm feeling unloved. Email your friends and tell them to leave me comments too. I'm sure that would help.

eXpressive: 5/10
Practical: 7/10
Physical: 5/10
Giver: 4/10
You are a RPYT--Reserved Practical Physical Taker. This makes you a Stoic.
You are intelligent, rugged, disciplined and profound. Even if you're saddled with a desk job, you are starving for the outdoors. You are very slow to warm up to people, and people are slow to warm up to you, but once they know you they never forget you.
You do not get much attention from your target sex, and this means you can feel unloved or unwanted. This is not the case! You are just a hard nut to crack, and your social anxiety leaves you overlooked or outside the frame altogether. What is good for you is increments of low-interaction group activity, like sports or outdoor work. The person who can chop wood with you will melt your heart.
In a long term relationship, you are loving and devoted. You are calm in a conflict until your partner presses your buttons -- it's never the problem at hand that gets under your skin, but how your partner handles it. Don't take offense! Sometimes it's just the only way your partner knows how to express things.
You would never cheat, and your approach to sex is conventional and almost prudish. But sex for you is a release and a necessity of life, and you have a sense of entitlement about it that can be trouble. Make sure your partner is comfortable and satisfied -- by communicating both in and out of the bedroom -- and you will be more satisfied yourself.
You may take a lot of what your partner does for granted. Make a special effort to reward and validate him/her, and you will be repaid in spades.
You have nice legs.
Of the 154889 people who have taken this quiz, 4.1 % are this type.

Pasted from <>

Bad Mommy!

This evening, Little Quandary decided she was hungry and wanted some crackers. Coincidentally, this was right before bedtime. We had finished some pumpkin pie only about 15 minutes early. Of course, Little Quandary didn't actually eat the pumpkin pie - she only wanted the whipped cream (and proceeded to eat mine after she polished hers off).

When I told her she couldn't have the crackers, she screamed for daddy, who immediately scooped her up to console her. The little child looked right at me, pointed her finger and said "No! Bad Mommy!"

Somehow I think this child is gonna be trouble.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Like My New Diamond Earrings?

They were my, not they were my mom's, they WERE my MOM.

Also - EW. On the other hand, I suppose if you're gonna do the whole cremation thing anyway, why not? (Which I'm not because the whole idea of it creeps me out)

In any case, I would definitely spring for something more than .35 carat.

Note To Self

Drinking a half gallon of tea before coming to school is really less conducive to learning than one might initially think.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Just Get Me To the Church On Time...

Convalidation, part II.

After Thanksgiving dinner with Mr. Quandary's aunt & cousins, we realized that all three of the female Quandary's needed nylons or tights to go with our outfits for Friday morning. Good thing all the stores open at insane hours on the day after Thanksgiving.

I've always sworn I would never get sucked into that particular bout of commercialism, but after this experience, I can almost see where it might be worth it - provided you know exactly what you're going in for.

I arrived at the mall at 6:30. As I walked in the first store, they handed me a $5 gift card and a "Benji the Gingerbread Man" Bobblehead (hideous, but the Elder Child loves it). I ended up going to 3 different stores, picking up other nifty things along the way, and spending way more than I had planned.

At any rate - I ended up getting home about 40 minutes before we needed to be at the church. I still needed to shower, but Little Quandary was still in the tub, and Mr. Quandary hadn't showered yet either. Kind of like all the nightmares I had before the civil ceremony three years ago - except I wasn't wearing a hideous blue dress in this real-life version.

Long story short - we all made it on time. We had more of our friends and family show up than we expected. AND we all went out for dim sum afterwards. An entire meal made up of appetizers - what more can you ask for??? The only weird part was that my fortune cookie read "You will have a large family." I'm gonna interpret that to mean that I will have a large EXTENDED family, and not that I'm going to actually have several more children. Because the mere thought of that makes me tired right now.

And I don't want to hear a single crack about the typical addendum to fortune cookies.

Friday, November 26, 2004

I'm Getting Married in the Morning...

For anyone who is confused about that statement - Mr. Quandary and I have been married civilly for about three years. Tomorrow we're having the marriage blessed in the Church. We've only told a few friends & family members, some of whom actually saw us get married the first time at a vineyard in California.

So, for Mr. Quandary - ktily, yy, vs!

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone Else!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

I'm Disappointed

This has been out on the web for, like, a whole 6 hours and Energy Spatula has yet to write about it. Maybe it's because she's driving to see her family, but still. She was at school today, and I know she wasn't paying attention in at least 2 of those classes.

I won't attempt to tear it apart, because ES is really WAYYY better at that sort of thing than I am. However, somehow I think that I am still a better mom than Britney Spears will ever be. Mainly because I have a brain. And I don't dress like a whore.

Yes, But is That a Frye or Daubert Jurisdiction?

Well, technically the answer is neither, since this man was convicted in London. (As opposed to our recent Evidence class, where one of my classmates answered "It's Both")

The only other thing I can say is "Eww!" And that I know several people at school who probably should not contemplate a life of crime if the whole law thing doesn't work out.


If a Glow Worm is forced to work for the enemy, does it become an enemy combatant?

This is just ridiculous. I guess I can understand working dogs and other animals who are actually trained to assist humans. In a fit of generosity, I'll even give you mascots. But insects??? C'mon.

"In welcome tribute to the millions of animals that have served and suffered for their country."

Give me a break.

Nerd Olympics

One Question: Who Cares?

Gee, D'ya Think?

The Elder Child recently got a HoverDisc. It came with this important notice.

When using the HoverDisc outdoors, we strongly recommend filing with air only! Helium-filled HoverDiscs may fly away outdoors.

What kind of morons do these people think we are that we actually need notice that if you fill what is essentially a flat balloon with helium, it will float away? (don't answer that) Also, what other readily available substance besides air or helium would you fill a HoverDisc with?

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Apologies to My Non-Lawyer Friends

This probably won't make a bit of sense to you...


You are Rule 8, the most laid back of all the
Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. While your
forefather in the Federal Rules may have been a
stickler for details and particularity, you
have clearly rebelled by being pleasant and
easy-going. Rule 8 only requires that a
plaintiff provide a short and plain statement
of a claim on which a court can grant relief.
While there is much to be lauded in your
approach, your good nature sometimes gets you
in trouble, and you often have to rely on your
good friend, Rule 56, to bail you out.

Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

link via Law & Alcoholism

Monday, November 22, 2004

Another Update

One more thing done. The Extra Credit Evidence Paper. More posts to come once the Employment Law Memo rewrite is done tomorrow.

It's been a busy weekend. If by busy you mean doing nothing productive for class until Sunday afternoon, and wasting spending your entire Saturday being a mock juror for 10 lousy extra credit points in Evidence class.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

To My Esteemed Female Classmates:

Wearing a suit with your strappy 3 inch spike heels does not change the fact that those shoes make you look like a hooker.

Thought you should know.



Sunday, November 14, 2004

Dear Mr. Sleeping in the Library Guy,

I couldn't help but notice that you seem to find our library furniture so comfortable and the environment so soothing that you have decided to sleep on the chair right in front of the circulation desk.

I'm so glad the exhorbitant tuition I pay ensures you have a comfy place to catch some late afternoon z's. You look fairly well dressed and groomed, so I can only assume that you do, in fact, have some other place you could be snoozing. I personally find it a bit freaky that you would choose to sleep in a University Library instead, but whatever.

All I can say is that you'd better not drool on anything.



Thursday, November 11, 2004

Happy Veteran's Day

And thanks to all those who serve or have served.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Fowl Dreams

It's 4 am. The whole house is sleeping...until a strange noise awakens us. A muffled, repetitive sound. Could one of the kids be having a nightmare? Is someone talking in their sleep? What could it be?

And then we remember our neighbors have chickens and they're clucking. At 4 a.m. In the backyard. In a major U.S. city.

Of course.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Democracy and baked goods - it's a beautiful thing.

I've found most of the get out the vote campaigns to be...well, annoying. I HATE being accosted by people with clipboards at every street corner. And seriously, how many times do they have to pay a personal visit to my home to make sure I'm voting for their candidate? (Answer - at least 4 - not counting the times we haven't been home)

That said - I have to share one I think is pretty clever.

A place called Cupcake Gallery has a set of bright pink stickers with slogans*:
I'm Pro-Cupcake and I vote!
Legalize Frostitution (my favorite)
There's at least one more, but I forget what it is.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!!! If you vote today, you ALSO get 1 free cupcake just for stopping by one of their locations today and telling them you voted. What better incentive can you ask for, people? Hurry...operators are standing by.

* I will try hard to get another copy of these and put a photo up. No promises though. I'd link to their website, but it's under construction.