Legal Quandary

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Who Knew?

That The Alan Parsons Project was responsible for that blast from the past "Eye in the Sky"? Not me. Guess I lost that bet.

In other news - happy belated Anzac Day.

God Save the Queen and all that jazz. I love Australia. Or at least Australians. Maybe just Australian wine.

Did I mention I was drunk?

Friday, April 28, 2006

Rebuilding New Orleans

The fact that these probably wouldn't fare any better than regular houses aside, this made me laugh.

But then I've always had a weak spot for houseboats.

And New Orleans.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Post-Law Studentialism

I went to my very last class of law school today.

It was somewhat anticlimactic. I sat, I took notes, the professor rambled on about some things longer than necessary. We applauded at the end. A tradition I think is dumb, but take part in anyway.

I still have 3 finals and a paper to get through in the next 2+ weeks. Assuming all goes well, that's it.

I have some thoughts about law school in general. And about being a visiting student. And about not really fitting in.

I'll probably write up some of those thoughts in the next couple of weeks during study breaks. In case anyone is interested in my specific thoughts on anything related to any of those topics, drop me a line and I'll try to address them.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

A Little Ranting Between Classes

  1. Tax Law Generally
  2. The fact that Federal Income Tax will be the last class I ever attend during law school.  Not that Remedies would be a better way to end things.
  3. The fact that I will commute 45 minutes each way to come to 1 class each on Wednesday and Thursday.
  4. The fact that coming to school Thursday seriously cuts into my dress shopping time.
  5. The fact that Professor Tax is reading us her outline as a review BUT will not give us a copy of said outline because "it's available out there - you just have to use your resources."  Which is fabulous if you're one of the cool law review kids and/or HAVE connections.  For those of us who haven't been here for 3 years, it's a little more challenging.  So thanks for that.
  6. The fact that someone decided to print a 300+ page treatise on the shared printer without making sure there was enough paper to print it - you suck.  Yeah - it's the week before finals - obviously no one else is trying to print anything today.  Also - if you need to print the treatise at this point, you might be beyond help.  Just so you know. 
  7. Oh yeah, and to the guy lighting up your cigarette right outside the door - you also suck.  While I generally support your right to smoke (I DO think it's remarkably stupid and self-destructive, but then so is my affinity for a well-made cheeseburger), I don't support your right to belch any of your toxic fumes my way.  So move your f**king ass away from the door!  At least my cheeseburger only blocks my own arteries. 

*Experimenting with the whole submit via email thing....

Monday, April 24, 2006

Post Bar Plans

Asian Provacateur asks: "are you going on a fun vacay post bar?"

Good Question! I'd like to welcome Asian Provocateur to LQ and just say that I LOVE your name!

Anyhoo...yes, I'm doing a lot of traveling after the bar. I'm even traveling before the bar - once for graduation and once to take the bar itself. Because we moved prior to 3L, I've visited in DC all this year, but I decided to take the bar in the state we moved from.

While I'm taking the bar, Mr. Q will be packing up the house for our move to our 4th state in 5 years of marriage. I'll come home just in time to help clean the house, drive to State4. And 2 days later, the kids and I will be on a plane to Germany to see my mom! It'll be part for fun, and part to help wrap up estates. I'm hoping it'll be mostly fun though. We'll return to State4 at the end of August so EC can start school, and then we're headed to Tahoe for a wedding the first week of September.

Bottom line = TONS of frequent flyer miles for me this summer!

Who else has good post bar (or just fun summer) plans?

The Last Page

I finished my Tax book today. Ok, so it's the end of the semester, and despite the slacker image I typically project here, I actually do most of my reading assignments. So, it's not unusual that I would finish the last reading assignment.

But that's not what I said - I said I finished the book. In my 3 years of law school, this is the first time we've finished the ENTIRE textbook in a class. This means that minus about 2 dozen pages on corporate taxation, we covered about 700 pages.


Sunday, April 23, 2006

Salaga Doola, Menchicka Boola

Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo!

Now...who has good ideas where I can find a ball gown in the DC area (preferably cheap!) by Thursday?

Mr. Q and I have been invited to a ball. Seriously.

Stop laughing.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Which is Worse?

Getting dumped by your prom date shortly before prom...or your mom putting up an ad for a date on Craigslist?


Thursday, April 20, 2006

The Missing Link(s)

So Kristine and I have this little Cook's Illustrated Admiration Society going on in the comments. And suddenly I realized that I hadn't heard much from her I looked and saw that this was due to her somehow being dropped from my blogroll, and not a lack of posting on her part. Sorry Kristine!!

I've noticed one or two other people this has happened to and have corrected it when I've caught it. I'm not deleting you on purpose - I swear. (I'm much too lazy for that!)

If you used to show up in the blogroll and have mysteriously disappeared OR if you've linked to me and I haven't reciprocated - drop me a line.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

3 Things I Look Forward to Once Law School is Finally Over

#3. Books weighing less than 10.2 pounds each and which can be enjoyed without highlighting.
#2. Not carrying a backpack the approximate size and weight of a 3 year old child on my back. Every. Damned. Day.

#1. Sleep. Lots of it. Enjoyed regularly.

Final Trial for Trial Practice is tonight - wish me luck!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Look! It's the High Fivin' White Guys!

Reckless Murder had a post up about National High Five Day - apparently coming up later this week.

It seems somewhat pointless, but it just made me think of Almost Live! skit - the High Fivin' White Guys!

They drive a white car! They eat at Ivar's! Need I say more?

Ok, so it's a Seattle thing.


File under "I" for totally immature. But still.

Via Paul.

The Gospel of Quandary

Do you know what's better than actually reading assignments?

Having them divinely revealed to you in a dream and/or hallucination.

You know how you always have the most vivid dreams right before the alarm goes off? Well, this morning I was in that super receptive state and the legal god or gods, revealed to me (and to me alone!) the facts and meaning of my assigned but uncompleted reading.

How dare you suggest that they are somehow flawed just because they don't match anything in the book. They were divinely inspired.

Because I am a tolerant prophet I will not totally call you out when you, Mr. Professor, wrongly disagree with the true meaning of my revelations. I will instead benevolently allow you to be wrong.

But consider yourself warned that I might not be quite so merciful once I build a loyal following.

Monday, April 17, 2006

LQ Heartily Endorses

I tried a new cake recipe yesterday.

It was so amazing. The cake is yummy. And pretty. See???

EC even said it was her new favorite cake. Which, if you've had my chocolate cake or cupcakes, you know sets a new standard.

The one thing it is not is low in either fat or calories. It takes a little bit (ok, a lot) of time. A stand mixer would also help. (hint, hint) But so totally worth the time investment.

If you're a baker, rush right out and buy the May/June copy of Cook's Illustrated. You'll find the recipe on pages 24-25. Better yet - subscribe.

Cook's Illustrated is quickly becoming my favorite magazine. I subscribe to 3 different cooking magazines - Cooking Light, Eating Well, and Cook's Illustrated. The thing I love about CI is the experimental approach they take to cooking. For example, for this Strawberry Cream Cake, they tried several different ways to get the cake just right, the filling just right, and the cream topping just right. They tell you what they tried, what didn't work, and why things either work or don't work. They rate cooking equipment - like stand mixers (hint, hint). They compare different brands of common ingredients and food and tell you what to look for in your ingredients. They explain different cuts of meat and why a cut that is tender and delicious in one recipe comes out tough and dried out in another. They even walk you through basic cooking and preparation techniques to make life in the kitchen easier.

I initially got my dad a gift subscription after seeing the magazine in a bookstore. For a significant part of our relationship, cooking was the only thing we could agree on. Several of his cookbooks now have a home in my collection - as well as most of the Cook's Illustrated magazines. I also had Mr. Q get me a subscription - and only partly because of the groovy Microplane grater that came as a free gift.

Other CI recipes I recommend:
Chicken Enchiladas - May & June 2003
Glazed Carrots - Mar & Apr 2003
Perfect Pot Roast - strangely, I only have this in a sample issue. But I have 2 copies of it and am willing to share.

And Now For Something Completely Different

By which I mean something not different at all - a quiz!

Your Inner Blood Type is Type A

You seem cool and collected, though a bit shy.
You are highly driven and a perfectionist, but that's a side you keep to yourself.
Creative and artistic, you are a very unique person who doesn't quite fit in.
People accept you more than you realize, seeing you as trustworthy and loyal.

You are most compatible with: A and AB

Famous Type A's: Britney Spears and Hilter
What's Your Inner Blood Type?

Swiped from Stare Decisis who got it from Brian.

Stare Decisis got the same result and was similarly unenthused with the Hitler Spears comparison. I think I'd be more willing to accept the Spears part if she hadn't, you know, turned into such a slug. The Hitler comparison doesn't bother me so much - my ex used to accuse me of being a dictator all the time.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Happy Easter!

I managed about 3 hours of sleep last night, went to Mass with the fam, helped hunt for the Easter eggs I hid around the yard at 6:30 this morning, talked to my mom for about an hour, and have written a whole PAGE of my paper. I'm a painfully slow writer, mainly because I don't really do multiple drafts. Instead, I write a sentence or two, revise until I'm happy, and then move on. Terribly inefficient, but on the plus side, it means that I don't usually have to change much later. Besides fixing citations, because Bluebooking stinks no matter when you do it.

At any rate, I am feeling a little better.

I'm always amazed at the amount of stuff the kids end up with at Easter. It's partly my own fault - I contributed bubbles and jump ropes to the baskets this year. EC also got a can of tennis balls (because she's learning to play) and Lil Q got a little Starbucks travel mug (because it's never too early to indoctrinate your children). EC would have gotten a super cute bracelet, but for the lying incident mentioned in the previous post. My mom contributed the sugar, having sent Lindt chocolate bunnies, Lindor truffle eggs, nougat eggs, and mini Ritter Sport bars. My ex and his wife even sent both girls Borders gift cards and cute bunny pens - which I thought was really thoughtful.

Now I'm starting to look forward to Easter dinner - which probably means I should go start cooking it.


Thanks to Shell for her vote of confidence in the comments to my last post.

I have to admit to not having the same degree of confidence, but then I'm in the throes of a full-blown panic attack right now. (Note that it is 1:45 in the morning.)

I'm worried about being able to get everything done that needs doing before the end of the semester. That paper is not going to write itself, yet it seems that so many other things get in the way of my being able to sit down and actually write.

EC's habitual lying for example - which managed to suck up the ENTIRE evening. Or the fact that this Practice Trial is sucking up ALL my study time. Or that our daycare is not open on Monday, meaning that I'll be spending the day trying to write while entertaining a 3 year old.

And it's not just the paper. Despite my best intentions and early efforts, I am once again completely behind in outlining. I might appear to be a huge slacker, but I do actually try to read all my assignments and go to class. Somehow between that and bar applications and MPRE studying and parenting and traveling for funerals and trying to deal with my dad's estate, outlining has falled by the wayside. Again. Now finals are only a few weeks away.

Speaking of the estate, I got 2 pieces of mail today. One told me that I'm going to have to spend a boatload of money in the very near future. The other said that the monthly expenses are about to go through the roof. One of these was expected - the other not so much.

So, there you go. More than you ever really wanted to know about what's going on in my life.

All because I can't sleep.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Happy Tax Day, Y'all.

Also, one month from today, I will have officially taken my last law school final.

Assuming I pass them all, of course.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Some People Who Visit Libraries Are Weird

I'm sitting in the public library this afternoon, since it is totally impossible to get anything done chez Quandary when the kids are home. Up until about 15 minutes ago, I was being ultra productive, mowing down the things on my to do list.

And then this guy showed up to use one of the public computers.

And he is the WORLD'S LOUDEST TYPER. Louder than me (though the iPod usually drowns me out). Louder than E.Spat, who, although it didn't bother me, types so loud she used to draw looks filled with daggers of hate from a Fed Cts classmate. The classmate finally got smart and moved across the room.

But this guy must be totally fired up about something because he is sitting there POUNDING away at the poor keyboard. Occasionally he'll pause and make some mark on a piece of paper in front of him.

What's more, he's dressed in a navy blue suit AND a camouflage hunting cap with the earflaps pulled down.

I'd take a picture, but I got rid of the camera phone. Well, that, and I think he might be packing heat.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Quite Possibly

The only reason I can think of for becoming a legal resident of Alabama.

Sadly for me, the state I pay taxes in is one of those really blue states. Pretty much in every sense of the word.

I'll Go Along With Most of This

You Are an Excellent Cook

You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning.
It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...
Are You A Good Cook?

I don't know about the top chef part. I like to experiment with new foods sometimes and most of what I make is made from scratch. Even so, most of my meals consist of pretty standard fare.

Maybe that means I should open a diner/bakery someday.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

One of my friends from TVPNU is in town attending some kind of a conference or job fair. We picked her up from the airport on Sunday and were talking about what our plans were after law school. At some point we had this little snippet of conversation:

Friend: You know you can get a PhD in law?

Me: Um, yeah, but why in God's name would you want to?

Friend: Well…to teach. I might do that eventually.

Me: Pfffft. There's plenty of law professors without PhD's now.

Friend: I know, but that's the advice I've been getting from almost everyone.

Now, no offense to my friend, who actually has some life experience, but the whole idea of this just sort of pissed me off. Mainly because I've sat in class with the total tools people this would appeal to.

And because I know what I've been writing on all my professor evaluation sheets is "Please bring in more ivory tower academics with no concept of the real world and unsullied by practical experience. If they could have something akin to disdain for those of us who actually want to practice law, that would be even better."

Monday, April 10, 2006

LQ, You Just Passed the MPRE - What Are You Going to Do Now?

Well, sadly, the answer is not "I'm going to Disneyland" but somewhere more along the lines of "write a paper, prepare for my final Trial, outline, and study for finals."

Anyway, as a couple of people have pointed out, scores are out. My score was well above average.*

Which, of course, counts for absolutely nothing.

* For as often as I cut myself down, I feel I'm entitled to brag a little when I do well. And, yes, I studied.

Back to Good

Did you know that tea WITH LEMON AND HONEY is the ONLY way to treat laryngitis? Well, it is. Or at least that's the impression I was given by many well-intentioned people who, when told of my condition, recommended it to either Mr. Q or EC. (Because I couldn't talk to them, right?)

Furthermore, just plain tea won't do it. Nor will tea with lots of sugar. Tea with honey but no lemon is also not good enough! ONLY HOT TEA WITH BOTH HONEY AND LEMON.

By yesterday afternoon, I did actually start drinking it that way, mainly just to shut people up.

But you know what? After 2 full days of having next to no voice, I'm mostly back to normal. Sometimes I'm still a little squeaky, but at least I'm audible - a vast improvement over Saturday when I had no voice at all. Just in time to be on call for my afternoon class today. Yippee.

I still chalk it up to just riding things out and treating the underlying cause (viral infection), with lots of liquids of unspecified type combined with a good decongestant. Because I am stubborn like that.

I found out today that my Trial Practice partner came down with the same thing. I feel kinda bad because I think I might be responsible for her misery. We met up on Thursday (when I started feeling bad) to brainstorm our approach to our case and divvy up the workload. She came down with it two days later and still doesn't have her voice back. Which means that in our practice trial tomorrow night, I might get to do her direct and two cross exams in ADDITION to my closing.

Maybe I should have told her about the tea with honey and lemon thing....

Friday, April 07, 2006

Dear LQ,

This is to inform you that the working conditions around here are well below standards.

Your diet leaves much to be desired. You rarely exercise. You sleep less than 6 hours a night on average. And your coffee consumption is truly becoming a concern.

You can consider your body on strike. The only one who will be working (overtime) is mucus production. To dissuade you from violating the terms of this strike, Voice will be taking a vacation someplace sunny.

Don't call us (because you can't - haha!), we'll call you.

Until further notice, try to get some rest,

Your body.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Dear Board of Bar Examiners,

I hate it when we have to have this kind of talk more than once. It makes me sound so...needy. And I AM NOT NEEDY. Do you hear me? NOT. NEEDY.

I know you're busy. After all, it *is* the season when every aspiring attorney in and (and in my case, out of) the state sends you a thick packet containing ALL THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF THEIR LIFE.

Is it too much to ask that you send some sort of acknowledgement? You know, just a little note to say "thank you for the several hundred dollars, it got here just fine?" I mean, you charged my credit card almost 3 WEEKS AGO. And you didn't even call.

You dirty whore.

Hugs & Kisses


Wednesday, April 05, 2006


· Do you lose time from classes due to drinking?

What - like, do I skip class to drink? No. I generally just bring it with me. I will admit to being a couple of minutes late to class and/or back from a break because I've gone to get a drink.

· Do you drink because you are uncomfortable in social situations?

Define uncomfortable. I mean, is it easier to "look" sociable with a drink in your hands? Sure. In TVPNM, it was almost expected that you'd have a drink in your hand. Also, I'm not incredibly good in social situations either with or without a drink, but a drink does tend to make me chattier.

· Do you drink to build up your self confidence?

I don't know if I'd say my "self confidence." But I do have a lot more energy and find it easier to get through the things I need to get done.

· Do you drink alone?

Yes. All the time. I have a hard time finding people who will drink with me.

· Do you drink to escape from studies or home worries?

Not escape necessarily, but I do tend to have a cheerier take on the world once I've had a drink or two.

· Do you feel guilty or depressed after drinking?

Sometimes I feel sort of sick to my stomach - does that count?

· Does it bother you if someone says that maybe you drink too much?

Hell, yes! It's none of their damned business!

· Do you have to take a drink when you go out on a date?

Sometimes I MAKE dates to for the express purpose of drinking.

· Do you get along better with other people when you drink?

Are you trying to say I don't play well with others unless I've been drinking? If anything, I'd say drinking makes me more contentious than usual.

· Do you get into financial troubles over buying drinks?

Maybe not troubles, but I do have to watch my spending - it adds up fast!

· Do you feel more important when you drink?

More important than I already know I am? Not really….

· Have you lost friends since you started drinking?

Yes, but not because of the drinking. No, really.

· Do you drink more than most of your friends?


· Have you started hanging around with a crowd that drinks more than your old friends?

Considering most of my old friends didn't drink at all, I'd have to say yes.

· Do you drink until you just couldn't drink anymore?

Well, there's been several times where I thought my bladder was going to explode. This problem is most serious when I bring my drinks to class.

Of course, THEY were talking about alcohol. I'm talking about coffee.

And a little note to myself - just because the school provides free coffee after 6 pm doesn't mean you need to drink it. You know it's going to be the coffee equivalent of battery acid and will only make that long Metro ride seem even longer. While you're at it, you might want to ease up on the donut consumption too.

Hugs & Kisses,

Your heart, stomach, and bladder.

Teach Your Children Well

I am a complete germophobe.

Yes, I know that makes me an utter freak, but let's move beyond that.

In fact, let's move a complete generation beyond that, because I have apparently managed to instill this phobia into my children as well. Maybe not so much the actual phobia part - more the specific activities associated with it.

A cardinal rule of being a girl in my family is NEVER touch ANYTHING in a public restroom with a bare body part. EVER. If no seat liners are available, they are improvised from multiple strips of toilet paper. Toilets are always flushed with your feet. Doors opened with a paper towel. Water turned on with one paper towel with a second one standing by for the actual hand drying. (Because you don't want to be exposed to anyone's second hand germiness.) And yes, I even use my elbow to get the paper towels. If I started carrying around Kleenex for the express purpose of touching things in restrooms that have only hand dryers, I'd turn into my grandmother, but you get the general idea.

My BiL and SiL were in town this weekend. So, while I was studying away at home, the rest of the family went to baseball games. Predictably, during at least one of these, Lil Q shouted out "I have to go potteeeeee!" SiL took her. When they all got home that night, she asked who taught Lil Q to flush the toilet with her feet.

Well, I did, of course. Though maybe not intending to, since a 3 year old isn't really tall enough to do the foot flushing thing - so I usually do it. It sort of makes me laugh to think of it though.

Then someone asked why I didn't just use some toilet paper to flush.

I guess you could do that. I just never thought of it.

Guess I Should Do Some Shopping

Your Lucky Underwear is Green

You're a total go getter who will scrape and crawl to get to the top. And your lucky green underwear will help you get there without a struggle.
A fast learner, you enjoy a good mental challenge - whether it's getting your law degree or running a successful business.

Sometimes you push too hard to succeed, alienating friends and wearing yourself out in the process.
If you want to reach your goals while still maintaining a full life, put on your green underpants. They'll help you slow down and enjoy life.
What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Being a Lawyer Might Be Like Being a 3 Year Old

The other day, we were driving home from picking Lil Q up from daycare. Mr. Q's sister was in the car with us. Lil Q began doing something she I had explicitly told her NOT to do just moments before. When SIL asked her why she was doing it, without missing a beat she responded "My Daddy said yes."

This was, however, a blatant lie.

But it got me thinking that this might really be what being a lawyer is all about. When someone challenges what the client is doing, we reply "The Supreme Court said yes." Or "Congress said yes." And sometimes, "The Constitution said yes." Sometimes these statements are also blatant lies or, at the very least, severe extensions of the truth.

So nice to know that I've spent $60K to learn what any 3 year old knows intuitively.

As any kid knows, the question then quickly deteriorates into "who's your daddy?" and whether "my daddy can beat up your daddy."

That's How This Cookie Crumbles...

You Are a Chocolate Chip Cookie

Traditional and conservative, most people find you comforting.
You're friendly and easy to get to know. This makes you very popular - without even trying!
What Kind of Cookie Are You?

Dear Checkout Lady,

I come to your store more or less for only one reason: to buy something piddly with my debit card and get cash back because I am too cheap to pay ATM fees, even though my bank refunds them.

So when you put up a little sign about "no cash back" on your checkout aisle after I've waited in line for 15 minutes because you are - I swear to God - the slowest checkout lady on Earth, I'm gonna challenge you on it. If you had given me a good reason like, say, a mechanical glitch, I probably would have let it slide. BUT if you tell me that you do that because other people have gotten way too much cash back and wiped out all the bills in your drawer…well, do you see how that's not my problem? And how there are less drastic means of achieving the same goal? Like setting reasonable limits on how much cash you can get back - you know, the way MOST places do it???

The thing is, you made it more or less clear to me that this was your OWN little policy and not that of the store, so if you're going to play the bitch, well…I'll see your bitch and raise you. And don't say you didn't have fair warning - I was wearing my TVPNU Law t-shirt.

When it comes between getting some uppity checkout clerk in trouble or going home and writing a paper, I think we all know that paper's not getting written.

Just doing my part to give lawyers and law students a bad name.

Hugs & Kisses