Legal Quandary

Monday, January 31, 2005

Santa Maria Barbeque - Amongst Other Things

Fitz-Hume requested that I expand on my knowledge of Santa Maria Barbeque, mentioned here. I'll start on there, but will wander on to other highlights of the Central Coast.

First off - everyone needs to understand that Santa Maria Barbeque does not refer to meat slathered in a ketchup based sauce. There's absolutely no BBQ sauce involved - I guess the BBQ refers to the cooking process. Like the Colonel, every cook uses a secret blend of herbs and spices (predominently salt, pepper, and garlic), but most cooks a) roll the meat in the seasoning, b) marinate in a liquid form of the above, c) inject seasonings/marinade, or d) some combination of the above. If you google "Santa Maria Barbeque", various sources will tell you that steak or any other tender meat can be served this way. And it's true that places like The Hitching Post* as well as other restaurants in the area prepare steak, chicken, or pork chops in this manner, but when most people refer to Santa Maria Barbeque, they are talking about tri-tip.

Never heard of tri-tip? You're not alone, but here's a handy little diagram in case you're wondering what this cut is, where it comes from, etc. Once the meat is properly seasoned, it is slow cooked over fire. When I was stationed at Vandenberg AFB (just south of Santa Maria), we had these big fire pits with grills that you could raise and lower in all the parks on base. We had NCOs (Non-Commissioned Officers, for you civilian types) who lived for unit picnics, because they had perfected the art of barbeque. Also because it meant that they could basically hang out in the park all day, drinking beer, and "cooking." Or maybe that is the art of barbeque. From what I saw, there wasn't much active participation required once the meat was on the grill, but I never cooked it, so who am I to say. And it's understood that a SMB lunch or dinner includes grilled garlic bread, beans, salad, and salsa to go along with the meat.

Now that we've got that straight, we can go on to where to get good SMB. Hands down, the best SMB I had the entire time I was there was cooked by an NCO in my husband's unit. I only know the NCO by Desi, and Desi-Q's were famous all over the base. This is also the guy we had cater our pre-nuptial dinner, as discussed here, in #7. Just awesome. If you're in the Santa Maria/Lompoc area and you see Desi-Q advertised (I'm pretty sure he's still in the area) - STOP - you're guaranteed a great meal, and the prices are generally VERY reasonable. $5-$8 for a big plate of food. Runner up to Desi was an NCO in my own squadron - Woody. He's since gotten out and moved - I think he ended up in DC, but I could be wrong. At any rate, those are the two great ones from Vandyland. The photo below (from my pre-nup dinner) doesn't do the set-up justice, but it's the only one I have.

Desi-Q Posted by Hello
You CAN find plenty of people grilling in various parking lots on Broadway (the main drag in Santa Maria) on any given Saturday. And most of it is pretty decent. But once you're off the Air Force Base, I recommend heading up to San Luis Obispo (which the locals just call SLO), because I'm a big fan of SLO.

If you're up on a Thursday night, there's plenty of good barbeque available all up and down Higuera Street (which everyone insists on pronouncing HI-Guera). Thursday nights are Farmer's Market. They block off the Higuera, and there are dozens of restaurants, fruit and vegetable farmers (most with free samples), and flower shops who set up booths along the street. There are at least 3 big Barbeque stands, and I'm almost positive all of them serve tri-tip in some form. I think F. McClintock's is one of them. If not - stop in their restaurant in Shell Beach - there's a tri-tip sandwich on the menu. Mo's, even though a chain, also has pretty decent regular BBQ, both at their street booth and in the restaurant, and they have tri-tip at the street booth. I also highly recommend the linguica from just about any of stands. Even if you're not a big red meat fan, you can still find plenty of good food at the Farmer's Market. Plus, it's fun. There are always bands playing at several of the intersections and various other street performers. The line-up changes every week.

The Central Coast was a fabulous place to live. My airmen used to complain that it wasn't very exciting, and I suppose that's true for a young single person without a car, but I never ran out of things to see and do. The towns are fairly small, but they all have personality. I used to drive up to Cal Poly in SLO to buy cheese from the dairy farm that's part of the Agriculture program. Arroyo Grande (local pronounciation is Grandy) is another cool little town. Be sure to stop by Klondike Pizza. It's not exactly classy - it's an eat-peanuts-while-you-wait-and-throw-the-shells-on-the-floor kind of place, but they have excellent pizza, featuring reindeer sausage. Pismo Beach features the Splash Cafe, who serves - hand's down - the best clam chowder I've ever tasted. Plus it probably has the nicest beach in the area - but I'll warn you - the water is cold!

And, of course, Santa Maria is one of the largest growing areas for strawberries, which means that you can either buy the strawberries at one of the many stands just off Highway 101 (I recommend the one off Betteravia), or at one of the many other Farmer's Markets in the area. Before we left the area, I put up 48 jars of strawberry preserves. And I'm sad now, because we're running low.

I'll save Santa Barbara and Santa Ynez (where most of the Central Coast wineries are) for another post, since this one is getting a bit long and unwieldy. I don't know if I covered everything Fitz-Hume hoped I would and anyway, no one said the post had to be coherent.

*If you are interested in visiting The Hitching Post, I prefer the Casmalia location over the Buellton one, although the Buellton location was recently featured in the movie "Sideways."

Looking for a Little Positive Energy...

Mama Q is having hip replacement surgery in the morning. She's probably going in to surgery right about now, since she's in Germany. Unfortunately (and obviously), I can't be there.

But I am asking for all the prayers/good thoughts/positive energy/wishes for a speedy recovery you can send her way.


Update: There was an email from my dad waiting for me when I got to school this morning. The surgery took a little more than an hour, and everything seems to have gone ok. She'll be in ICU until tomorrow morning, and will be in the hospital for another 12 days after that. (It's Germany - people stay in the hospital much longer than in the States).

Thanks so much for the positive thoughts...please keep them coming to guarantee a speedy recovery.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Celebrating is a Time-Consuming Business

The Promotion/Birthday Celebration-O-Rama is finally over, and I have to admit, I'm not sad. I feel like I've been doing nothing but cleaning my house, preparing food and serving food for the last 3 days. Because that IS all I've been doing.

So, now I have a house full of leftovers, because Mr. Q insisted on buying 3 ginormous vegetable trays, 3 large fruit trays, and enough cheese to induce lactose intolerance in any normal human being. Most of these food items did double duty between the ceremony on Friday and the party on Saturday. And we STILL have so many leftovers. The only things we ran out of were the fabulous (just ask E.Spat) teriyaki salmon skewers, and the cake. Also very yummy. So good that I was dismayed when several people came back for seconds. Chocolate layer cake filled with sliced fresh strawberries and whipped cream frosting. Decorated with fresh strawberries too. I would post a picture, but I forgot to take one.

If anyone is in the neighborhood, please stop by. Did I mention we also have lots of beer leftover? Fat Tire, Pyramid, and Red Hook. Just in case that factors into your decision....

Saturday, January 29, 2005

See - I Knew I Was Cute!

Come to think of it, the psycho part isn't a huge surprise either.

cute but psycho
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Borrowed from stag.

Congrats Mr. Q. on Your Promotion!

Today, Mr. Q. finally pinned on the grade he was selected for last summer. There's nothing quite like being told, "You're doing such a good job that we'd like to pay you more - in a year and a half."

At the promotion ceremony, his boss had lots of nice things to say about Mr. Q. However, he almost turned it into an R-rated event by talking about how Mr. Q. and I met at a crud tournament, and how I must have been really impressed by how Mr. Q. "used his stick." Thereby also demonstrating that he doesn't know the first thing about crud, since it is played entirely without sticks.

The only disappointment was that the short powerpoint slideshow I put together of semi-embarrassing photos of Mr. Q. didn't get shown. Some of the photos may or may not have been chosen in retaliation for my hypothetical anger earlier in the week. Which, of course, they weren't, since the anger was only hypothetical. At any rate - I'd been talking to a couple of the interns in Mr. Q.'s office about it, so they knew what to expect, but somehow it never occurred to them to request a projector. So nice that I've been staying up late every night this week to get this put together. Obviously time well spent.

I am a little freaked out about the fact that Mr. Q. now holds the same rank my dad retired from.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Boots + Shorts = Fashion Disaster

Ladies - if it's cold enough to wear boots*, it is not warm enough to wear shorts. The converse is also true. Just like "if A then B" and "if B then A." I can't explain - it's just a law of nature.

Do NOT screw with the LAWS OF NATURE. Bad things happen when you mess with the LAWS OF NATURE.

OK, fine. Do what you want. Just don't blame me when you get hit by that bus.

* This is doubly true when the boots are suede, lace up the sides, and have fringy stuff on them.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Studies in Legislation That Shouldn't Be Necessary, But Apparently Is

I'm all for anything that will keep poisonous snakes out of the hands of idiots. Snakes are bad. All of them. I don't care what they do for the environment, the ecosystem, or whatever. I.Hate.Snakes.

I think it's strange that it has to be against the law to have a pet pit viper. That someone would have a desire to own one in the first place falls right into the special kind of stupid category. The fact that they think it's ok "because they live near a hospital" is a clear indication that these guys are as dumb as a box of hair. But the last line says it all.

BISMARCK, N.D. - North Dakota's House has agreed to ban private ownership of poisonous snakes, responding to an incident in which two Bismarck men ordered deadly reptiles over the Internet and then showed them off.
Last July, police found four deadly snakes in a Bismarck apartment. Andrew Greff and Doug Feist were charged with misdemeanor reckless endangerment.

The men told authorities they felt safe with the snakes because they lived near a hospital, where they could go if they were bitten.

"These individuals had taken these snakes to at least one school, under the false premise of getting them identified," Wrangham said. "They knew what they were. They just took them there so they had an excuse to show people what they had."

After the snake incident, Greff lost his left arm in a pipe bomb explosion.

MMMM...Minty Fresh!

This reminds me of my Air Force days.

When I was stationed at my first base, our Officers' Club always had bottles of Scope in the restrooms. Sometimes when people ran out of money at the bar, they would switch to doing shots of Scope.

Because nothing says "classy" like getting drunk off mouthwash.

Before It's Too Late

I also want to wish my sister-in-law, B, a Happy Birthday!

To you! The only sister-in-law (I have 5) whose birthday I can remember. Because it's so close to my own. And because your birthday falls in January, which means my New Year's resolution to remember birthdays is still fresh in my mind.

The Quandary Cats

I feel like I've been delinquent in posting recently. I've been busy studying for Hearsay quizzes and preparing for Mr. Q's promotion ceremony on Friday. Part of the preparation has meant sorting through some old pictures. I came across some photos of Lancelot and Merlin, the Quandary Cats.

Lance Posted by Hello

Merlin Posted by Hello

Expect more posting this weekend.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Not That This Really Means Anything

But it kinda looked like fun.

You are 80% Aquarius

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

Swiped from E. McPan's blog.

Somehow You Just Know

That bad things are going to happen when a case starts out like this:

On the evening of May 22, 1981, defendant and his wife Wanda did a considerable amount of drinking, and during the evening quarrels occurred between them. They returned very late to the mobile trailer park in which they lived, and when they entered their trailer the quarrels continued and intensified.

State v. Walker
654 S.W.2d 129
I'm sure it's no big shocker that Wanda ends up dead.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

And Here I Said No Quizzes

But, of course you knew I would have to check Bloglines before doing homework didn't you? And yes, I realize that several other people already have this quiz up. But I don't think any of them are trespass to land.

So there.


and go to because law school made laura do this.

Borrowed from Amber at Class Maledictorian.

A Whole New Lease on Life

Well, almost...

- The Hair Appointment - a tentative success! She seemed to do everything right (without being told). Yay! I'm reserving the right to be unhappy after I have to arrange this mop tomorrow morning, but right now it looks better than it has in a long time! If I had a new lipstick or lip gloss, I WOULD have a whole new lease on life. Well, maybe I'd have to add a manicure and pedicure. I heart pedicures!

- I have decided that I am no longer hypothetically angry, and have removed that post. Two people guessed correctly as to both the crime and the perpetrator. That is, if there were a crime and perpetrator. Which there wasn't, because it was only a hypothetical. Geesh - get with the program already.

- A big thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! Yay - you guys are awesome. Also, thanks to Denise at Life, Law & Gender and everyone else who has linked to me recently. I will continue on my quest for interesting quizzes, etc, to appease you all! But not tonight because I am an "expert" tomorrow in Evidence, and thus must continue to teach myself the basic rules of hearsay. I would expect light posting. But who knows? Maybe the Evidence Gods will be in attendance tonight and I'll intuitively understand everything.

Hey Lady With The Scissors In Your Hand...

I have an appointment later today to get my hair cut. My last hair cut was back in September, and the experience was so bad that I had decided to wait until March to get my next one. Why March? Because I’m going back to Nebraska for a visit and know my old stylist can give me a decent cut. (This is where all you stylists on the West Coast recognize the inherent wrongness of that statement and feel ashamed.)

At any rate, I can’t stand it anymore, so I made the appointment with a new salon. As such, I’d like to lay out some of my expectations for the new stylist. I’ve agreed to pay an exorbitant amount of money for this haircut, so I feel it’s only fair that I get to make a couple of demands. Here goes:

Dear Ms. New Stylist –

Hi! I’m sure you are totally awesome and will not need to be told any of these things. On the other hand – if you look around our fair city and see what other stylists have done to some of these people, I’m sure you’ll understand my concerns. But before we get the scissors flying, I just wanted to let you know where I stand. Recognize that I am a law student. Beginning to cut my tresses implies an agreement to do the following:

1) Help me find a suitable hairstyle which will look good on me 6 months from now, and then give me a cut today that will help me get there. I’ve been a victim of some of your colleagues, and have a little recovering to do. But I’d rather have a plan for this recovery. If this means I need to just get a trim today and come back in a few months, that’s fine – just tell me.

2) Help me to settle once and for all the question of “to bang or not to bang?” Can I pull this look off or is my forehead just too big and ugly for looking at? And yes, part of me recognizes that if I have to ask, I probably already know the answer.

3) Be nice to me. Make me feel pretty and important. When I’m there, pay attention to me. This is not your chance to get caught up on gossiping with your co-workers. You see them every freaking day.

4) Understand that I have had really bad experiences with stylists in this city. Most of them seem to have either missed or failed that block entitled “Styling – How to Make Your Client Look Like They Just Left The Salon.” Part of what I’m paying for is the mystique of leaving looking better than when I came in.

5) I have potentially awesome hair. It is a little longer than shoulder length, very thick, and naturally wavy. Please help me do something with it that makes use of these characteristics. When you give me a cut/style that requires 20 products, a hair dryer, and a straightening iron, THIS DOES ME NO GOOD. Did I mention I’m a law student? I have no time for that kind of nonsense. I also live in a city where it rains most days of the year – any straightening I do will not last the day. However, if you can recommend a good product – maybe two – which will help my hair not be frizzy, I would appreciate it.

6) Ask me how I part my hair. I have never gotten a good cut from someone who parts down the middle and starts chopping away.

7) I will likely show up wearing my hair pulled back in some manner. I would still like to be able to pull my hair back. With that said – just because I want the ubiquitous ponytail to be “an” option, I do not want it to be the only option. Please give me a cut I can stand wearing down.

8) Under no circumstances will you cut any part of my hair (other than the bangs, depending on how we decide item 2), shorter than chin length. The waviness of my hair makes anything shorter than this look like wings on the sides of my head. I make be fashion learning impaired, but I know enough to recognize that’s not a good look for anyone. Also, this interferes with #7, above.

Ok – that’s all for now. If I think of anything else, you can be pretty sure I’ll let you know. I’m looking forward to meeting you later today. After reading this, I hope you still feel the same.



Happy Birthday Mama Quandary!

Wish we could be there to help you celebrate.


The Whole Quandary Clan

Monday, January 24, 2005

You Know, I Have to Say,

It frightens me a little bit when I send an email to a Professor at 11PM on a Sunday night and he responds in less than 10 minutes.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Happy Birthday to MEEEEE!

In honor of my birthday, I decided to get myself a new template. What do you think? Thanks to E. McPan for the link to the site where I got it. I was torn between this one and the pink jigsaw puzzle one. Not that I'm a big jigsaw fan, but I thought "quandary" and "puzzle" sort of went hand in hand. Thoughts on that? Remember - it's my birthday, so if you stop by today you HAVE to comment. Sort of like The Hot Librarian's delurking day. Except my birthday isn't totally made up AND I'm not threatening to give you a venereal disease.

At any rate, the template isn't perfect yet. I've futzed around with it for about an hour more than I had planned and I'm tired now. Everytime I add my blogroll in, the formatting goes all haywire. Also - does anyone know how I can get the "name" un-centered? I think it looks goofy like that.

Update: I've gotten everything but the blogroll to work. Anyone got any good ideas? When I paste the code it, it totally screws up the

Update 2: Thanks to otis over at Didactic Discursive Diatribe for helping me get the blogroll to work! Yay!


Only 1.5 more shopping hours until my birthday!

Saturday, January 22, 2005


Little red jewels of juicy goodness.

Carry on.

Poor Jimmy. Why Would He Say That?

Friend: "I think Jimmy Buffett just said he smoked some cock. Why would he say that?"

Me: "Play it for me."

Friend plays Jimmy Buffett's "Coastal Confessions" off the License to Chill cd.

Jimmy mumbling some "confessions" at the end of the song: "Smoked some pot."

Me: Bwahahahaha!

Please help. Delusional law student hearing things. Cabana Boy needed. Soon.

Applications now being accepted.

A New Twist on an Old Joke

From a law review article on Intestacy Law, in the section entitled "Adoption of a Spouse."
Kentucky courts apparently have more experience with spousal adoption than do courts in other states. Although the earlies reported Kentucky decision upheld an adoption made to ensure that the adoptee/wife would inherit under class gift language in the will of a third party, the courts in later cases refused to recognize such adoptions made merely to manufacture the adoptee's membership in a class for gift purposes. Reported cases from other jurisdictions in recent years havce also refused to acknowledge or give effect to the adoption of a spouse when the parties to the adoption were attempting primarily to manipulate gifts from third parties.

Likewise, the Uniform Adoption Act specifically prohibits an adult from adopting his or her spouse. This approach, which comports with recent decisions on the subject is not surprisingly unwarrented. The Supreme Court once stated that marriage creates "the most important relation in life." To recognize a parent-child relationship between a husband and wife is instinctively disturbing and confusing because the presumed sexual relationship between the couple is anathema when we view the individuals as mother-son or father-daughter.
Children and Inheritance in the Nontraditional Family by Ralph Brashier, 1996 Utah L. Rev. 93

Of course, begging the question - if a man divorces his wife, is she still his daughter?


I bought Mr. Q an electric razor a couple of years ago. So why is it that when I go to change the blade out on my razor so I can shave my legs, there are NO BLADES LEFT???? (After having already chucked the old one into the trash, thinking there were blades left, because well, there were 3 the last time I looked?)

When I buy a 10-pack of blades, it's with the expectation that they last a good long time - especially during the winter when I'm not scraping the fur off my legs quite as often. At the very minimum, there should at least be ONE left.


[sigh] Boys!

Friday, January 21, 2005

Federal Courts – Not as Bad As I Thought

After the first week or so I had decided that a more appropriate title for this class was "Civil Procedure’s Greatest Hits". And I detested Civ Pro. And by detest I mean hate with a passion. I would shoot it on sight if I thought it would do any good and I could get away with it.

But I have to say that even though the textbook leaves much to be desired, (thanks otis for the link), and our prof assigns totally unreasonable amounts of reading each and every night, I have to say I’m finding it pretty interesting. Oh – and add to that, the fact that the professor prowls around the front of the room like it’s he's on a fashion runway. (I’ve been told that he is as gay as the day is long. I feel compelled to add the obligatory Seinfeld “not that there’s anything wrong with that” here, but you’d think he’d dress a little better. Lime green shirts are ugly on anyone.)

A friend provided me with a kick-ass outline. I have a Nutshell on order. And I seem to understand what the prof is talking about. Which leads me to believe at least one of the following may be true:

- I’ve gotten smarter in the last year
- My Fed Courts professor is better at explaining than my Civ Pro professor was
- Some of what I was supposed to learn last year finally sank it
- My Civ Pro professor was a complete psycho
- I am completely delusional

So, the point of this post (if you can call it that), is that I’m not hating the class nearly as much as I thought I would.*

At any rate - going out to celebrate tonight with a friend who just got engaged. Expect no posting.

*I reserve the right to change this opinion for any reason at any time. Or for no reason at all. Kind of like employment at will, but as applied to opinions. I especially reserve this right if the final sucks and I do poorly on it.


A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I just can't see my ass coming into work today."

Stolen word for word from M. LePenseur.

I Used to Think This was True

And then I went to Law School and discovered I'm just another idiot (in a class of many). Where did all the talent go? Is it hiding somewhere?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Stolen outright from Trivial Pursuits.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

That is One Butch Chick!

I saw The Hot Librarian's post on her frustrations with the Gender Genie and the fact that it incorrectly identifies her as a male. Of course, I had to try it out.

After submitting several blog entries (all but one of which Gender Genie correctly identified as having been written by a female), I noticed the note stating "the genie works best on texts of more than 500 words). So I submitted a substantial section of the last paper E.Spat and I wrote together, only to discover that E.Spat and I are apparently both male.

When I tried to explain to the genie that it was mistaken, it just said "That is One Butch Chick!"

I'll let you draw your own conclusions about female attorneys.

Championship Eavesdropping

Overheard on the bus this morning - a conversation between 2 male students in their early 20s.

Guy 1: "Dude - you've got really hairy arms. I thougt I was the only one with arms that hairy."

Guy 2: "Yeah, I know. That means someday I'll probably have a hairy back. I'll have to have laser hair removal then."

Wednesday, January 19, 2005


You Are 34 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

I swiped this from someone. Sadly, I don't remember who. Guess it's my advanced age catching up with me!

Yeah. I Suspected as Much...

I suppose it could have been worse.

I am nerdier than 54% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Swiped from Brian at Confessions of an Exhausted Mind

Overheard in Transmission of Wealth Today...

"Someone shaved my cat's butt...why would someone do that?"

I personally have no idea, but thought it was an interesting choice of conversation topic.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Law Students are Notoriously Bad At Math

This tends to make an entire class on how the different Intestacy Statutes divvy up a decedent's property extremely painful.

Not so much for me - except for the strong urge to bang my head against the desk out of sheer boredom.

Monday, January 17, 2005

I'm So Happy

That when Bloglines recommends other blogs I might be interested in, "based on those I subscribe to", they manage to list, inter alia*, 90% of the blogs I already subscribe to.

That said, I am genuinely gratified that they also recommend LQ.

* I've always wanted to use that term

Memorandum for Mr. & Mrs. Mottley

In re: Louisville & Nashville R.R. Co. v. Mottley, 211 U.S. 124 (1908) (aka - the Well-Pleaded Complaint Rule case)

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Mottley:

Let me see if I understand your complaint correctly. You were riding on a L&N Railroad train when you were injured in a train crash. In exchange for not suing the pants off the Railroad, you agreed to accept free passes on the same Railroad? And now you're mad because the Railroad breached their contract with you?

You people must be some special kind of stupid.



Sunday, January 16, 2005

I'm Always Intrigued

By the subject lines of the emails that show up in my "Suspected Spam" folder.

Why is it that by putting "Local affair electroencephalograph" in the subject line, someone thinks this will somehow induce me to open the email?

1. I'm not interested in an affair. Local or otherwise.

2. If I wanted/needed an EEG, don't you think I'd contact my doctor, and not respond to some random email that showed up in my inbox?

Saturday, January 15, 2005

20 Things You Didn’t Know About Me

I've been meaning to put one of these up for awhile, but just haven't gotten around to it. Since I have a paper to write this weekend, I figured now was just as good a time as any.

In no particular order. And not because you asked, but please, feel free to comment.

1. I am obsessed with my teeth. It hasn’t always been that way (as evidenced by my many cavities) but since I’ve been an adult, I can’t go to bed without brushing and flossing. Doesn’t matter how tired I am – I can’t sleep unless my teeth are clean.

2. Both of my grandmothers are over 90 and still alive. My Grandma, who is 90, lives in Indiana. Sadly, she has Alzheimers and lives in a home. My Oma, who is 96, still lives on her own in Germany. She also still bakes fabulous tortes from scratch and knits amazing sweaters – by hand.

3. I hate bananas. In fact, I’m not really fond of any “tropical” fruit, other than pineapple.

4. I went to 3 different high schools in 3 years, and 10 different schools total. Not including college.

5. I still talk to my first boyfriend on a fairly regular basis. We started dating when I was 15. I met him at summer camp and we dated all through High School (except when he broke up with me for about 4 months to date this girl named Sherri. That bitch.) I broke up with him shortly before my 20th birthday to go out with Roundboy.

6. We live in the same house Mr. Q. lived in during college. And not because he’s been here the whole time – we’ve lived in Nebraska and California since then.

7. I’ve actually lived in Santa Maria, California. I know what Santa Maria Barbeque is, and where to find good Santa Maria Barbeque. Mr. Q. and I had it at our pre-nuptial dinner, which was a casual sort of poolside affair because of #9.

8. My parents did not attend my first wedding.

9. My parents were the only members of my family present at my second wedding. Also, out of the approximately 130 guests at our wedding, only about 25 were not family members. Which obviously means Mr. Q. has an enormous family.

10. I broke my nose playing flickerball. Flickerball is a ridiculous Air Force sport played at Officer Training School and Squadron Officer School. The basic idea involves throwing a football around a soccer field, using (roughly) basketball rules. The goal is to throw the ball through a board with a hole in it. You also score points (but not as many) for bouncing the ball off the board. It’s a stupid game. The only game that comes close to being as stupid is crud.

11. I met Mr. Q. at a crud tournament.

12. I touched a Titan IV Rocket a few weeks before it launched. Which means that unless the rocket was wiped down prior to launch (doubtful) or the prints were burned off during launch (more likely), my fingerprints are floating around in space somewhere.

13. I’m really good at Air Hockey.

14. While I hate actually “moving,” I love moving to a new place every couple of years. In college, I moved to different apartments several times, simply because I got restless after being in one place too long.

15. My grandfather was in the German Army during World War II. He was a prisoner of war in Poland. I never met him because he died when my mom was 19.

16. My other grandfather was a sports writer. He died when I was 6, but I can still remember him taking me to Hockey and Baseball games.

17. My father hates sports and wouldn’t allow me to participate in any sports except for track and field. I defied him and played field hockey and basketball in Jr. High. I also lettered in swimming and tennis in High School.

18. People who clip their nails in public are a pet peeve of mine. Do-That-At-Home. Behind closed doors. Preferably when no one else is home. Seriously – that’s such an irritating noise. It has no place in a movie theater, on a bus, or anyplace where other people might be present.

19. My other big pet peeve is people who leave the toilet seat up when using the bathrooms in my house. Do what you want in your own home, but consider the following:
A. The only décor that “goes” with the “open waters” look is post-modern cellblock. Just ask Martha Stewart.
B. It’s toilet water. And when you flush with the seat up, microfine droplets of that toilet water gets sprayed all over the bathroom. All over your brush, your hairspray, your towels, and your toothbrush. Seriously, ick.
C. It’s dangerous. Pets get poisoned by the chemicals used to clean toilets and a toddler can drown in a toilet. If you use the bathrooms in my house, you’ll notice all the toilet seats are down. Is it that hard to put the thing down after you use it?

20. I have a weird thing about my ears being wet. It’s fine when I’m actually swimming, taking a shower, etc., but the minute I’m out of the water, I want my ears to be dry. Q-tips are a necessity in my house, and more than one otherwise romantic moment has been ruined by some guy who decides it’s sexy to stick his tongue in my ear. There is no faster way to spoil the mood for me than to get my ears (or my neck, for that matter) wet.

That Sucks.

I see people posting about how they're the #1 Google search for one thing or another. And the point is that all their searches are funny. Do you know what I'm the #1 Google search for???


That's so damned lame!

On a side note - only 9 more shopping days til my birthday.

Update: I am also the #1 Google search for "Legalize Frostitution." I guess that's a little less lame.

Friday, January 14, 2005

I'm Not Sure How I Feel About This

I received an urgent email from my boss yesterday. Actually, I had received a semi-casual "hey, the next time you're around stop by or give me a call because I need to talk to you" email a couple of days ago. However, I only got around to reading it yesterday because I've been busy as hell this week and only work Thursdays and Fridays anyway. After I had just told someone I couldn't go to lunch because I had to call my boss, there's the urgent "I need to talk to you ASAP" message in my inbox.

So, after playing phone tag for a while, he calls me back and says that my position has been elimated due to lack of funding. (I've been working for a gov't Agency). I'm not totally surprised, since he'd been just talking to me last week about the funding problems in the Agency (btw - why would you do that? Glibly chit-chat about it to someone who is most likely to get cut? Just curious.)

At any rate, I worked another job over the summer and they're happy to take me back. But it's hard not to feel like I've been fired, though I know it's nothing personal. I mean, I'm just a temporary employee, and the job was supposed to be over at the end of the summer.

Deep down they still love me. And this is just their funny way of showing it.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Does Anyone Know Anything


1. Being a visiting student your third year.

2. The schools in the Boston area. Reputation, cost, likelihood of them accepting a dummy like me?

Just curious. Post 'em if you got 'em.

The Lady at the Bus Stop

In the Bacon and Egg Print Dress wanted me to tell you to "Have a nice month kids! Have a nice month! It's January 2005!"

Your PSA for the day.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Happy Birthday Dear Energy Spatula!

Happy Birthday to You!

E.Spat BDay Cake Posted by Hello

Here's wishing that all your cabana boy dreams come true. Either with James Spader himself, or a suitable lookalike.

Also, although none of us can compare to M., know that we love you!

Birthday Hugs,


PS - now the rest of you, if you haven't done it already, go on over to Favorable Dicta and wish E.Spat a Happy 30th Birthday!

Monday, January 10, 2005

Cold Medicine + Me = Blah

I haven't been posting much in the last couple of days. Part of it is because I spent a good chunk of Saturday baking/assembling/decorating E.Spat's cake for her birthday party that night. And also because I've been hopped up on cold medicine.

According to my doctor, I don't tolerate pseudoephedrine well. So instead of knocking me on my ass, like it does normal people, I get all panicky and freaked out. Some fun. Since pseudoephedrine is the main ingredient in most cold medicines, the means I avoid taking cold medicine until I absolutely can't stand being sick anymore.

Not that it's entirely without benefits. It makes me a cheap date, since I get pretty tipsy off just one drink and really have no interest in food. I seem to have a lot of energy, especially at times when normal people are sleeping. Also, after 2-3 days, I always start thinking that cold medicine as a weight loss plan seems like a good idea.

Of course, that could be either the alcohol or the lack of food talking.

Sunday, January 09, 2005


It snowed last night! The weather people had actually predicted snow for yesterday, but all we got was a disappointing dusting that was gone by noon.

A View From the Quandary Window Posted by Hello

So, obviously, we have a backyard which is about the size of a postage stamp and is dominated by a huge barnlike structure. Also, if you look to the left of the picture, you can see where the dead chickens used to live. Before they went to be with Jesus.

Saturday, January 08, 2005


Today when I pulled into my parking space at work, there was a cage sitting on the sidewalk in front of my car. And there was a raccoon in it. It was still there a bit later when I checked, so we called the facilities people, who promised to come take it away.

It was STILL there when I left for home, so I broke a couple of crackers into pieces and dropped them into the cage. As I was pulling out of the parking lot, the "Facilities" person showed up. In the form of a well-dressed white woman. I can't help but wonder what the hell she did with the poor animal and how she managed to get it moved. Because I know it snarled at me when I was trying to give it some food.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Dear Doctor,

Remember me? I was here a couple of weeks ago hacking up a lung and you told me it was viral and there was nothing you could do? Kind of like your office staff told me about having pink eye for more than a week. Coincidence? I think not!

At any rate, here I am again and I still feel like shit. Plus, I can barely swallow and it hurts to turn my head. I'm thinking it's strep throat, but I expect you'll think it's either a) a virus, or b) post nasal drip. And you will once again deny me the antibiotics I know I am entitled to.

Here's the deal, doc. I know many organizations have come out saying that it's actually worse to hand out antibiotics like candy because it breeds more resistant strains of bacteria. Yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. I deeply respect what you're trying to do for world health and all. Except that I don't because I also know that I used to feel better within a couple of days of going to the doctor. Which I kinda thought was the whole damned point. But, as always - what the hell do I know?

Here's my take on the matter. Have you all ever considered that after thousands of years of competing for victims, maybe the viruses and bacteria have gotten smart and figured out how to work together? I mean, I know it sounds implausible, since some of them are single celled organisms and all, but hear me out on this. Mr. Virus comes in and lowers my immunity, allowing Mr. Strep bacteria to come in and kick my ass. It makes perfect sense to me - and I would place the bulk of the blame on Mr. Virus. I think he's definitely the instigator of this little plot. After all, viruses can get into your DNA and change it, so they are obviously smarter than bacteria, those little opportunists.

Bottom line is that I'd like some effing antibiotics now.



Offensive* Attack

* Pick either pronunciation/definition and you are right.

Some readers have praised me for not talking incessantly about my children. And while it is my general policy to never let my children define who I am because it is detrimental to the power balance in my home (I have the power and they don't), this post is about Little Quandary. If you aren't into that - you might want to skip this post.

Little Q wanted to have juice with dinner tonight. Actually, she would drink juice all day long if we would let her, as would any other child, because it is essentially sugar water with some good stuff mixed in. But I digress. After briefly trying to persuade her that what she really wanted was a nice cup of milk, I gave in and poured some watered down apple juice into a sippy cup.

This was simply not acceptable. Little Q wanted to drink it out of a different cup - think plastic beer cup - which, as anyone who has ever drunk beer from one of these knows, does not have a lid. Apple juice is sticky. There should be a lid involved.

Fine. You don't like that cup? We'll pour it into a different sippy cup. Still not good enough - she wants to help pour the juice (keep in mind, she's shrieking like a banshee here). She knocks the cup off the table and kicks it a couple of times. This earns her some time out on the stairs, which does absolutely nothing for the shrieking situation.

When she comes back, she's still so incensed at being offered the juice in the WRONG. DAMNED. SIPPY. CUP (what the HELL is wrong with you, mother?!!!) that she runs to the couch, throws herself against the cushions, blows snot out her nose and smears it onto the couch. Once she's done there, she finds a suitable spot on the area rug and does the same thing. For good measure, she runs back to the table, blows some more mucus out and rubs it around the side of the table with her nose. The Elder Child and I could barely contain ourselves. Ok, we were laughing out loud.

After the time out that obviously ensued, we poured the juice into the original sippy cup and she chugged the juice down in, like, 1.6 seconds. And then ate dinner like nothing ever happened.

Where exactly does a child learn that mucus makes a semi-effective weapon against your parents?

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Laughing My Ass Off

Link via The Hot Librarian

Just in case you missed my point earlier, I translated it through the Snoop Dogg Shizzolator.
Hi n' shit. Do yo' ass remember me? I brought in 2 shirts 'n a suit fo' alteration 'n dry cleaning last week 'n yo' ass charged me $108. Oh, fo' sho, yo' ass do, know what I'm sayin'? Great n' shit.

Well, here's da deal, know what I'm sayin'? The alterations are fabulous 'n I has no complaints 'bout that part, but when I ax yo' ass launder & starch my shirts, that means I'm hoping get 'em back WITHOUT wrinkles n' shit. I mean, da whole point of paying yo' ass do my shirts, is not that I CAN'T iron my own shirts, but that 1) I prefer not , 'n 2) I assume yo' ass've gots better stuff 'n can therefore do a better job, know what I'm sayin'? But da basic expectation is that I should NEVER has touch up yo' work." And that goes double fo' yo' ass ironing in NEW creases that weren't there in da first place."

And yet another fine example of how my writing may be improved upon:

At any rate, that shiznit's a moot point now, because Mr." Neighbor forgot lock 'em up one night 'n well, da chickens weren't there in da morning, know what I'm sayin'? But they left behind some feathers 'n entrails." Mista n' shit. Neighbor then had explain what happened they 2 year old, so brizzle told her "da chickens are wit Jesus."

For Your Lunchtime Listening Pleasure…

…and I DO mean pleasure!

A friend and I went to a quirky little café for lunch today. (No, not that one - one close to school and minus the great scones).

We're sitting there, minding our own business, and discussing possible analytical paper topics for Transmission of Wealth, when this young black man comes in carrying this HUGE box on his shoulders. He announces that he's got some free cd's for everyone, and starts putting them on all our tables.

Later, back at school, I happen to glance at the cd. It is entitled "Sticky Cherry Blue Cum" and the cover art features the previously mentioned young man in the shower. Thankfully only from the nipples up. And he's either winking at his intended audience or has an eye that's swollen shut (probably the Pink Eye Epidemic of 2004-5).

A selected playlist from SCBC - note that all titles have "XXX" in curlique font in front of them:

  • Deep tacos
  • Sex palate
  • Sex palace
  • Chestnuts
  • Plaid lust (Huhwhat? - Ed)
  • Cum throat
  • Cherry cum

Good thing I finished eating before I read this because I think I would have lost my appetite. Sexual and otherwise. Gee, I can't wait to play this for my children.

Dear Mrs. Dry Cleaning and Alterations Lady,

Hi. Do you remember me? I brought in 2 shirts and a suit for alteration and dry cleaning last week and you charged me $108. Oh, ok, you do. Great.

Well, here's the deal. The alterations are fabulous and I have no complaints about that part, but when I ask you to launder & starch my shirts, that means I'm hoping to get them back WITHOUT wrinkles. I mean, the whole point of paying you do my shirts, is not that I CAN'T iron my own shirts, but that 1) I prefer not to, and 2) I assume you've got better stuff and can therefore do a better job. But the basic expectation is that I should NEVER have to touch up your work. And that goes double for you ironing in NEW creases that weren't there in the first place.

C'mon. I'm the type of person who has you not only tailor my Eddie Bauer shirts, but also starch them. The whole point of this exercise is for me not to look sloppy. Could you help me out a little here? I mean I did fork over a hundred bucks and all.

Thanks for hearing me out on this.



Oompa Loompa

Apparently Tim Burton is remaking "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" with Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka. We just watched the original with Gene Wilder this last week. I don't see how Johnny Depp can possibly improve on the role.

I'll probably see it, and I might even pay movie theater prices to do it. But I have to admit I'm a skeptic.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Tsunami Relief

Last week, I wrote about the fantabulous scone cafe we like to visit. Now there's one more reason they're fantabulous. When I stopped in for a mocha this afternoon, I noticed they were doing a Tsunami Relief spaghetti dinner. For a suggested donation of $10 per dinner, you got spaghetti with sauce (carnivore or vegetarian - your choice), caesar salad, and garlic bread, with all proceeds going to Mercy Corps' Tsunami Relief Fund.

Inside Posted by Hello

The whole staff turned out to help - and from the line out the door, so did most of the neighborhood. It's a small place - and it was packed! A young violinist was playing outside for donations (it was cold and she was inside warming up when I came back to take the pictures). If you look at the windows, you'll notice slips of paper hanging just above the candles. Each piece of paper listed a country and the number of estimated dead from that country.

Door Posted by Hello

They even had a bouncer host to greet people as they arrived and entertain them as they waited. Notice his snazzy, hand-tailored outfit.

Bouncer Posted by Hello

Bouncer2 Posted by Hello

When I look at this now, I see the photos just don't do the jacket justice. "Mr. Mark" had either sewn or hot-glued sequin trim onto this thrift-store beauty.

At any rate - if anyone in your neighborhood is doing something like this, I encourage you to contribute. It was pretty cool to see almost all of my neighbors turn up in one place on a Wednesday night, checkbooks in hand.

If YOU happen to own a groovy little coffee shop/bistro/bakery, I encourage you to stage something like this.

Federal Courts = Destined to Become the New Bane of My Existence

Today was the first day of Federal Courts. Class itself wasn't so bad. The professor seems excited about the subject and knowledgeable and all that stuff you like to see in a professor.

The textbook is just awful. Our first reading assignment consisted of excerpts from the Federalist papers on Article III - hard for them to mess up. Tonight's reading assignment, on the other hand... 2 reasonably short and seemingly straightforward cases followed by a 30 page law review article that just blows. Long, wordy, and generally poorly written. I made it about 6 pages in and made the decision to switch to my Transmission of Wealth reading. I'm just going to have to go with the theory that if it's really important either a) the professor will be kind enough to point it out or b) someone else will remember.

Ah well. Only 37 more Fed Cts classes to attend. Tell me, is it a bad sign when you start counting after Day 1?

Mr. Q leaves in the morning for the windswept plains of the upper midwest, where they are predicting bad weather for the rest of the week. Wish him safe travels and wish me sanity in dealing with the young uns.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Something Fowl is Afoot. Well, not Anymore...

Back in November, I wrote about the neighbors who were raising chickens in their backyard. Strange as it may seem, this is actually legal, despite the fact that we live in a large city. Apparently, you can have up to 4 chickens. Who knew?

At any rate, it's a moot point now, because Mr. Neighbor forgot to lock them up one night and well, the chickens weren't there in the morning. But they left behind some feathers and entrails. Mrs. Neighbor then had to explain what happened to their 2 year old, so she told her "the chickens are with Jesus."

Part of me thinks this is really funny. The other part of me thinks that this explanation would have freaked me right on out as a child. But maybe it's just me.

Pink Eye

If anyone what point do I need to be concerned about conjuctivitis? I've had it since the 29th of December and wake up every morning with my eyes crusted over. (Gross, I know) I called the Dr's office and they recommended warm compresses because "it's probably viral and there's nothing we can do." But when I look at the 612 websites which are apparently completely dedicated to the study of conjunctivitis, the symptoms look more bacterial to me. But what the hell do I know? If I'd been smart, I would have gone to Med School instead of Law School.

I also hate triage nurses. I know they are the gatekeepers of hell the doctor's office and are there to prevent people like my former mother-in-law from taking up the doctor's time. But, for those of us who would just as soon die silently of something totally curable before making an actual doctor's appointment, this function is totally unnecessary.

{sigh} Thoughts? Anyone?

Update: Thank you to everyone who responded! I still haven't broken down and bought the damned OTC stuff, but the Elder Child has a Dr's appt on Friday, so I figured I'd just make the doc look at my eyes then and give me the prescription stuff. I did start wiping my eyes with cottonballs soaked in warm water, and it almost seemed a little better this morning. And then not so much. At any rate, maybe I can convince the doc to give me some flexeril for my back too - because I concur with LawMom - you can never have too many prescription drugs at home "just in case."

Yes, but Where Exactly ARE You?

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- Baseball's Angels have a new name: The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Why, you ask? "We believe that the appeal in the marketplace will be broader," Angels spokesman Tim Mead said. The team hopes to market itself to more of Southern California and attract more advertising sponsors and broadcast revenue.

Of course, the City of Anaheim is suing, saying it violates the terms of the team's lease with the city. You gotta admit the City's Rep has a point: "It's geographically confusing and absurd. No other professional sports franchise that I know of has two different cities in its names."

Doesn't make a bit of difference to the Quandary household. Mr. Quandary is a big fan of the Oakland A's of San Francisco.


I got one of my grades this morning! And it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. In fact, it was pretty damned respectable. Yay!

One Last Post for the Night.

1. Thanks to Vanilla Gorilla. He is a pharmacist and gave me some great advice today about what to do about my back pain. It's not 100% yet, but much much better.

2. Thanks to my friend Thorlack for driving me to and from school today. Which means I didn't have to take the bus with a messed up back. Yay!

3. A fellow blogger, who shall remain nameless, has requested recommendations for a good Scotch. The kind made in Scotland. I know nothing about scotch but asked around a bit. The advice I got was that anything single-malt and aged over 18 years is probably a safe bet and that almost anything with a "Glen" in the name is likely to be good. I know I'm a couple of days behind on this, but hopefully, still in any helpful suggestions in the comments. You know what you can do with the non-helpful ones...

Little. Yellow. Different.

Yesterday E. Spat reported that Hippieville has made it illegal to throw away recyclables. Predictably, TVPNU has taken it to a whole new level. From an email received just moments ago...
Beginning January 1, 2005, TVPNM City Council's ordinance requiring all businesses to recycle paper takes effect. TVPNU Recycling needs your support in helping TVPNU to comply with this new law. To inform all students, faculty, and staff of the paper ban, a major advertising and promotional campaign will be launched. The theme for the campaign will become a familiar phrase around campus: Stop. Think. Recycle. Along with informational posters and sandwich boards around campus, a competition will be held, open to all students, faculty, and staff. Recyclers will find small, squishy, yellow toy brains around campus. These brains represent the 'Think' aspect of the campaign. They can be kept (and hopefully displayed prominently) or recycled at the Student Union Information Desk to be entered into prize drawings in January and February. Please visit for more information about campus recycling and the paper ban. TVPNU Recycling would like to thank the TVPNU community in advance for helping keep paper out of the trash.

Trust me to be on the lookout for any stray yellow squishy toy (it's a good thing they specified) brains. If I should be so lucky as to find one, I'll be posting a photo. See what I'm willing to do for you?

Monday, January 03, 2005

First Day of Winter Quarter - A Review

Classes were not nearly as horrible as I expected. If you look over to the right, above the archives, you'll see which classes I'm slacking off in taking this quarter.

Evidence, which continues on from last quarter, started out a bit slow. Prof Evidence warmed us up by playing a couple audio and video snippets from previous years. One was ok - someone had made up new lyrics about the hearsay exceptions to go with some song from a musical I couldn't quite identify. The other was just God-awful. By which I mean truly painful to watch. Three white guys "rapping" about prior bad acts but to the tune (if you can call it that) of "Baby Got Back." Apparently, Prof Evidence was impressed by this display of complete lack of talent creativity and awarded them all lots of extra credit points. Maybe E. Spat and I can dream up something to the tune of "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" But I wouldn't count on it.

Federal Courts didn't meet today, so I'll have to wait til tomorrow to review it. I do know Prof FC assigned 28 pages of hellaciously boring reading for the first day of class. If Casenotes is accurate, the first couple of weeks will look a lot like a ConLaw review, complete with Marbury v. Madison, which Prof Con Law covered in excruciating detail last year. He showed us powerpoint slides of all the historic places and spoke in great detail and with obvious longing about James Madison's green velvet outfit. I'm not making this up.

Transmission of Wealth. The professor seems nice, if somewhat disorganized, AND she gives you the option of writing a paper (albeit a long one) instead of taking a final exam. So...if anyone has any good potential topics on Wills, Trusts, and Estates, please send them care of Legal Quandary to Or just post them in comments - whatever.

Negotiation and Dealmaking - How to Take Over the World in 3 Easy Lessons. Ok, I made that last part up. I'm taking this in the Business School, well, because the law school Negotiations class was full, and lawyers sometimes interact with non-lawyers. At least I hope they do. Also, because I thought it would be cool to get out of the law school every once in awhile. It's supposed to be a 2 hour class which meets twice a week. We were done today in 20 minutes. Also - there's no final. Damn, I miss undergrad.

So, that's it. No reading/homework tonight because we did nothing meaningful in any of my classes, and I'm actually a day ahead for what is the first, and will probably be the only time in my law school career. If I were smart, I'd have done the reading for the next class as well, but we all know that's not gonna happen.

Anyone for a Little Fish?

Well folks, Beefy McManstick survived his stay at the Quandary house. I have to say both Quandary children became quite attached to him. Little Quandary (the 2 year old) would even drag a chair over from the kitchen table, climb up, and torment amuse Beefy by letting him see himself in the mirror. Since I am an average excellent mother, I had to replace Beefy. For the kids' sake.

Behold....Teriyaki Fish!

Teri Posted by Hello

Teri1 Posted by Hello

Teri2 Posted by Hello

Sunday, January 02, 2005


So E. Spat. did a Milbargesque post the other day. And I have to say I really like the efficiency of it, so here's my own little take on it.

What I've been Doing at Work: Nothing! Took the week off. I finally finished the brief I was writing for my boss last week. Now we're just waiting for the AJ to come back with her decision so we can decide how much of the brief to use. It's a Title VII case, and the hearing was back in September. She didn't hear any evidence on damages, but wanted post-hearing briefs, and then if there was a finding of discrimination, separate briefs on damages. Since there was next to nothing presented in either the initial brief or the hearing on damages, this was a pretty challenging assignment. Also, if I had known so much of Title VII was based on Torts law, I would have paid a lot more attention last year. Not that it would have done me much good. Professor Torts was pretty burned out by that point and not really teaching us much.

What I've been Doing at Home: Lots of cooking. We got invited to Christmas dinner at Mr. Q's aunt's house 2 days before Christmas, meaning after the turkey had been taken out of the freezer to thaw. Since we couldn't really return the bird to the freezer, I cooked a full-on holiday dinner a couple of nights ago. Complete with homemade wheat-walnut rolls, green bean casserole, yams, and the world's most awesome smashed potatoes. (For those who might debate that fact and threaten frivolous lawsuits - and I think you know who you are - the friend we had over for dinner even said (without prompting) that they were the most awesome mashed potatoes). We also had a very nice bottle of pinot noir from the vineyard where Mr. Q and I got married. (The ceremony 3 1/2 years ago - not the one right after Thanksgiving). Other culinary delights in the past week include homemade apple pie, about 6 dozen balls of oatmeal raisin cookie dough - frozen for future consumption, twice that many oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and decadent chocolate nut bread. Also, turkey rice soup and 7 quarts of spaghetti sauce.

Cookies for Everyone! Posted by Hello

What I've been Reading: In a word - fluff. 1) I read a romance novel, for the first time in years. I was wandering Barnes & Noble and noticed they had a novel, written by one of my high school English teachers. Her book is exactly the kind of mindless trash she used to chastise us for reading. But she was an interesting and memorable teacher, so I felt somewhat compelled to read her book. (She's written several, but that B&N only had 1 title in stock). Ms. English Teacher had a prosthetic hand - which is part of what made her memorable and didn't stop her from buying a car with a stick shift (which obviously, she immediately had to sell). Luckily she had a decent sense of humor about the whole thing, so the day one of my classmates showed up and said "Ms. English Teacher, you are single-handedly ruining my life!", she just replied, "Well, it's the only way I could do it." 2) I just finished reading "Blacklist" by Sara Paretsky. I used to love the V.I. Warshawski books, but they've just gotten too liberally preachy for my taste in the last 2-3 years. And I get enough of that at school. Unfortunately, this book was no exception - which didn't prevent me from finishing it. 3) "The Three Martini Playdate" by Christie Mellor. I bought it to give to a friend who is expecting because it is freaking hilarious and echoes my views on parenting. I strongly recommend this book if you have kids, think you might ever have kids, know any small children, or have friends who are expecting. From a review stolen from

The author urges readers to recruit children to pitch in with household chores ("Three years old is not too soon to start learning the fundamentals of decent vacuuming") and thinks excessively childproofing a home is ridiculous, since kids find a way to open complicated locks anyway ("You might as well festoon all your drawers and cabinets with brightly colored flags that say ‘Hey, You! Kid! Fun and Danger in Here!’").

What I've been Watching: Mostly, more fluff. Dodgeball (funny in places, but Ben Stiller is becoming awfully predictable), Anchorman (um, aside from some one-liners, really not that great), The Simpson's Season 3 (still funny - especially "Black Widower" - the one where Sideshow Bob marries Aunt Selma and plots to kill her), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (weird and good, but it took me about a day to decide I liked it). Also, Mean Girls - which I liked a lot. Lindsey Lohan wasn't nearly as obnoxious as I expected. The scenes where the high school students act like wild animal were a little strange and this visual really should have only been used once. The best surprise so far has been Arrested Development. We never saw it on tv, but rented the first season. Freaking hilarious.

What I'm Thinking About: Trying to get a guest speaker to come talk at an event on the 12th of January. We've had one speaker decline and one just never get back to me. Who knew it would be so tough to get someone to come talk to a bunch of law students? We're even paying $1000. If I knew anything about the topic (race and the wealth gap) and were at all articulate, I would do it in a heartbeat. I'm also especially focussed on the fact that my lower back feels like someone kicked me in the spine and I have no idea why.

What I'm Not Thinking About: The fact that classes start in less than 24 hours. And that Mr. Q will be away on business for most of the first week of school, leaving me to coordinate schedules, feed, and transport the other 3 of us. Good thing I cooked ahead.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Happy New Year!

Every new year is accompanied by new lessons. The things I have learned so far in the first 20.75 hours of 2005 are:

1. Mr. Quandary has relatives who will call up early in the day on New Year's Day, ask if you'll be home, and announce "Great! We'll be there in 1 hour!"

2. Mr. Q and I can accomplish an amazing amount of housework in 1 hour.

3. 3 gallons of boiling water will not bring an entire (half-filled) bathtub up to a temperature suitable for human bathing. This rule applies especially when the pilot light on the hot water heater has been extinguished intentionally and it is winter. (Actually, this was learned late last year, but I feel a need to include it - just as a PSA. In case you were wondering. Which you weren't.)

4. There is a conspiracy in my house to prevent me from completing my first-day reading assignments.

Happy New Year everyone. More posting in the near future, when I go back to school and have more free time.