Legal Quandary

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

New Thing in the Side Bar

Take a look...there's a new certification in the sidebar that says this site is certified - you hear that - certified 69% good. I was intrigued by the certification on the Hot Librarian's site and decided to get one of my own. They give you a choice of posting a "good" or "evil" certification. I went with the good, because that just seems so much friendlier. And everyone knows that my whole goal in life is to shine a beacon of friendliness on this dark and lonely world.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what the certification means. For example, Hot Librarian is certified as 68% good. I love her site, and encourage everyone to visit it often (and laugh your ass off) but let's face it - she talks about things there that I never talk about. Like Weiners, Douchebags, Sex Snorkels, and all of her roommates, the Fuckers. It's not that I'm old and boring...oh wait - it is. That, and the fact that I unwisely gave out the link to this site to some of my family members.

So while I'm flattered to be compared to the Hot Librarian (since I can't match her in looks, humor, or artistic ability), I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm just a bit confused as to how exactly this rating is determined. It looks like they do some sort of complex analysis of letter usage and assign values to certain "important words" which drive the rating.

And just for kicks, I ran some other sites through it, so now I know it's whacked. Naked Drinking Coffee comes out as 80% good. That just can't be right.

A Christmas List? El Numero Eleventeen

As promised, here's G's list for 2004. There were some formatting issues, which I worked on, but didn't get completely hammered out. So the heck with it - here it is in imperfect form. Anytime there's a line of asterisks, it represents a comment that was crossed out. The comment after it is whatever was scrawled in the margins next to it.

A disclaimer. Everything on the list is meant to be humorous. It's not meant to be offensive to anyone, though I can see where some of it might offend some people. Deal with it. I didn't write it and take neither credit nor blame for the contents.

-A registry with minimum purchase requirements

-Desktop calendars of desktops

****************Falls under “power tools women want”

-The South Central L.A. Diet Cookout Book

-“Balloon Animals in the Mirror” by the Giambi brothers

-The combination newspaper/garlic press

****************Didn’t Martha Stewart teach us nothing?

-“Memory” amnesia version

-Carnival rides called “broken yet functional… sort of”

-“Mannikin Manufacturing for Dummies”

-The inter-changeable self-cleaning wine/beer stopper

***********************Boston already gave me something pleasantly unexpected this year

-Utility whiskey

-NHL Hockey

-“Fan Appreciation and People Skills” by Ron Artest

-“Hunting Etiquette” by Chai Soua Vang


-Refillable invisible ink

-Retro combat boots

**************In some ways, it makes CPR seem kinky

-Your flu shot

-UPN’s “Amish in the Ghetto”

-Rental bumper cars

-Revival of midday nap time

-Fireworks at the Macy’s parade

*************************Another reason stocking stuffers are not called “forceful sock violators”

-Hot and humid sauce

-“Arise and Walk” minimal action figures by John Edwards to refer to music

-“Mr. Gower did put Something Bad in those Capsules” by Viktor Yushchenko

-Post-nuptial agreements

-Pre-nuptial disagreements

-The all-in-one mp3 player/am/fm radio/ watch/compass/umbrella/thermus/wallet/alarm clock/pager/flashlight/lighter/ultility key/safety hammer/can opener/fax machine/coffee bean grinder/road flares/crystal ball/palm pilot/cell phone/nail clipper/toilet paper dispenser/flask

*************Ronald Reagan would’ve wanted it that way

-Vanity mirrors for shy people

-The official crime-scene investigators outlining body cookie cutters

-Treats that weigh what you’ll gain

******************It erased all recollection of the summer in Athens

-Gentle methods for breeding animals

-Cross-stitching on pins and needles

-Books on good driving while reading

-Tempur-pedic couches

-West nile virus-infected bird baths

-Remote control key locators

****************They really put that in Ovaltine?

-The original concentration camp tanning bed

-Crashed party-sized bags

-Figgy pudding

*******************Married folks ask for nonsense like that- oh wait- doh

-The four-in-one crib/toddler bed/love seat/adult bed

-Drinking and heavy drinking dining sections

-A distinguishing name for the length of time a shelf is supposed to last

-Insole foot massagers

********************Three words: Spanish train rides

-Palestine on eBay

-Those mysterious strawberry hard-filled candies that show up just this time of year but never seem to go bad

*******************************A trip to an Arkansas library is a big deal

-“How to be Punctual for Really, Really, Really Important Events” by Mark Geragos

-More car games that involve steering wheels

-A wolverine head staple remover

****************************I don’t know what that means

-Cowboy cologne


-Snowblower fights

-More Nebraska film festivals

********Who said abusing prisoners and filming it wasn’t good wholesome fun?

-“The Passion of the Christ” the ride

-Noxema’s “exfoliate your shame” pads

-The blood pressure cuff/armband floatation aids

-The trailer park bench press/ironing board

-Scrambled brains on drugs

-The tri-action trekking pole/fencing sword/oversized camping butter knife

****************It’s up there with David Lee Roth as an EMT

-Water footbeds

-Carabiner piercings

-The difference between a dog in heat and a hotdog

-White out pen and stain remover

**************************Blood, sweat, and tears aren’t included in the favored gifts that keep on giving

-Irish singers who can correctly count to four in Spanish

-Inflatable Balco bobblehead dolls – unknowingly misguided shopping online for home furnishings

-Reference books to other reference books

-The five-gallon caramel, cheddar cheese, and butter tin without the popcorn

********************“We won’t go until we get some” takes on a new spin

-A washable hamper

-Denture mouthwash

-Nuclear kayaks

-Basic second-aid kits

-Lines at the mall during Christmas to see Jesus

have a merry christmas and a happy new year!

Monday, December 27, 2004

Pretense and Pretentiousness

The Elder Child and I went to the neighborhood cafe for lunch. We like to go there because they have crepes and these fabulous scones. Sadly, their coffee is only so-so, but the place with kick-ass coffee doesn't have crepes or scones, so there it is.

We're eating our Black Forest ham, spinach and cheese crepe and butternut squash soup (topped with creme fraiche) and drinking our hot chocolate and mocha, and I notice what's playing on the radio....

It's Bon Jovi. And not the new stuff - Bon Jovi from 1989 - "Living on a Prayer." And that's followed by REO Speedwagon. And Dire Straits. By the time we get to the blueberry scone for dessert, the Go-Go's are on.

Is it just me or does this all seem out of place? I'm not exactly sure what I would substitute. Probably jazz (and I don't mean that insipid "smooth jazz" crap), some light classical music, or something interesting but unobtrusive. (Please post any recommendations.) But Bon Jovi and the Go-Go's have no place in quirky Pacific Northwest cafe land. None. I'm just saying.

Dear Kitchen Quandary...

Apparently posting the contents of my kitchen cabinets and pantry was a stroke of genius on my part. Either that or just freaky enough to make people want to comment and ask questions. I'm going with the genius theory...

E. McPan asks: Maybe this is a dumb question, but what do you do with the instructions if you pour everything into a tupperware box? (Obviously, I'm so out of whack that I wouldn't know how much Cream of Wheat to use per serving.)

That's not a dumb question. Most of the stuff I keep in the containers are things like rice, flour, oatmeal, etc. - things that I don't really need instructions for. As far as the Cream of Wheat goes, I don't really follow their instructions anyway. I did for awhile, and then just got good at figuring out what "looked about right." I'm not a very precise cook anyway, so recipes are just sort of the roadmap from which to deviate. And if you read the Cream of Wheat instructions, they tell you to add salt. Salt! Blech! As in, not even worth eating! Who adds salt to something you're just going to top with chocolate chips anyway?

I also don't buy "Cream of Wheat" brand. I switched to "Cream of the West" a couple of years ago because it's less processed and more nutritious. Which is fodder for a whole different post on my obsession with reading labels.

But back to your question - if I did put something into a container and needed the instructions, I have a binder where I put instructions/recipes that I've ripped out of magazines, cut from boxes, etc. So - for example, the awesome oatmeal raisin cookie recipe that comes from the lid of the Quaker Oatmeal container (the big round thing that doesn't fit well anywhere), is in there. Please don't get the impression that I'm organized because the binder is a total mess, but it works for me. The recipes I use a lot - like the oatmeal raisin cookie one - end up stuck into the front cover. The first page has the recipe for the yummy Blueberry/Cranberry Orange antioxidant muffins I love. Beyond that, things are pretty much crammed in there wherever (but in sheet protectors). There are also a lot of recipes in the binder that I haven't used yet, but tore out of a magazine in order to get rid of the magazine. Not that it's really cut down on the number of cooking magazines (and cookbooks) I have - which is also fodder for a future post.

I give you....the Binder-o-Plenty...

Binder-o-Plenty Posted by Hello

Sunday, December 26, 2004

One of the Best Things About Christmas Being Over

I won't have to listen to anything by Mannheim Steamroller for another 11 months.

Friday, December 24, 2004

Merry Christmas!

Every year, my brother-in-law, G, writes a Christmas list. Traditionally, he would write it out by hand, make a bunch of copies, and then drive around in his white Dodge Colt and deliver them in person. G got married this summer, and won't be hand-delivering his Christmas list, so I thought I'd post some of my favorites from previous years. Unfortunately, I've only been able to track down the lists from 1998 and 1999 so far, but I'll keep looking.

- Destruction Paper
- Refried Beanie Babies
- Power-Trip Tools
- Stove Top Stuffed Animals
- A Refrigerator Babe Magnet
- Low-Calorie Peanut Butter Spray
- 10-10-I'm-A-Tight-Wad
- The Kevorkian Book of Home Remedies
- A Female-To-English Dictionary (J - has he figured this one out yet? - Ed.)
- Playable Flute Glasses
- Inner Voice Mail
- "How to Communicate with your Expensive Loved Ones" The NASA/Mars Saga
- Mt. Ego Hiking Gear
- Seattle's Best "World Trade Organization Riot Blend" Coffee
- A Suppressed Memory Photo Album
- "How to Strip, Celebrate and Advertise at the Same Time" By Brandi Chastain
- A Head Hunter's Hat Rack
- "Dried Out, Moldy Chicken Soup for the Bitter and Irritated Soul"
- The overturn of Murphy's Law

If you all are lucky, and G gives me permission, I'll post the current list when I get it...I hear it's coming by email this year.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Dear Santa,

Some things I'd like for Christmas -

12 hours of sleep (in a row, with no interruptions)
A new hip for my mom
Health for my dad
A day where no one dies in Iraq

Please do what you can - especially about the last one. I've been pretty good all year.



Tuesday, December 21, 2004

My Freaky Obsession

I went grocery shopping yesterday. As freaky as it seems - I love grocery shopping. I could care less about shopping for clothes, but there's just something about wandering the aisles of a grocery store that's so satisfying. At least it would be if all the other people would get the hell out. Also, although I am a terrible housekeeper, I am extremely picky about my kitchen and pantry. I even shop very neatly. It's sick.

When I'm not in school, I go so far as to plan out menus for 2 weeks at a time, and I write out long shopping lists of all the ingredients I'll need. Usually before school starts, I'll cook up huge (10-12 quarts) batches of spaghetti sauce and a couple of different kinds of soup so I can freeze them. I also make up between 10 and 12 dozen cookies that I freeze in little balls on cookie sheets and then put into gallon sized freezer bags. Baked beans, lasagne, stuffed shells, calzones, chili - all get cooked up in advance so we have some quick meals available during the weeks when all hell breaks loose.

Unfortunately, food is probably the only part of my life that is well organized, but I thought I would showcase this freaky little part of my life just for you. I know you're not laughing at me. Well, maybe you are, but it's only because you feel intimidated by my culinary weirdness prowess...

My Kitchen Cabinets

Kitchen Cabinet Posted by Hello

Because I Really Can't Get By

With fewer than 15 cans of diced tomatoes.

I say Tomato, you say Tomahto... Posted by Hello

Now That I Look at This

All I can think is that we're a little low on both tuna and chopped clams. :(

Well Stocked Pantry1 Posted by Hello

Them's Fighting Words!

Mr. Quandary has been having a great time teasing entertaining Beefy. Never let it be said that the Quandary's aren't good hosts.

It's an excellent picture though - if I do say so myself. Maybe if the whole law school thing doesn't work out, I can get a job as a fish photographer. I'm sure they're in high demand...

Them's Fighting Words! Posted by Hello

Monday, December 20, 2004

A Night in the Life of a Toddler

8 PM – create amazingly smelly “exploding” diaper. If possible, smear contents onto clothing or nearby surfaces. Bonus points if you’re at someone else’s house.
8:02 PM - insist on drinking a cup of juice while having diaper changed. Spill at least 50% of juice down front of dress and into hair.
9:25 PM – fall asleep on drive home.
10:00 PM – get poured into pajamas and fall asleep in crib. Fool parents into thinking you’re down for the night.
1:13 AM – take off pajama bottoms and diaper. Throw diaper over the side of the crib. Yell “uh-oh!” to get parents’ attention – they’re a little slow this time of day.
1:25 AM – go back to sleep after being put back into diaper and pajamas.
2:32 AM – repeat actions of 1:13 AM.
3:00 AM – insist on sleeping in parents’ bed. They’ll give in to just about anything at this point in exchange for a couple of hours of sleep. Make dad sleep on the floor. Kick mom until she yields 9/10 of the bed and the “good” pillow. Lean over mom every 15 minutes or so and cough. She’s been without an illness for almost 3 weeks – you should remedy that by making sure she’s sleep deprived and by sharing the wealth of germs you picked up at daycare.
4-7 AM – Dream blissfully now that you’ve succeeding in kicking both parents out of bed.

Sunday, December 19, 2004


I realized this morning that I haven't posted in something like 4 days. The reason for this is that I have been busy working and trying to catch up on the housework I've been neglecting for the past 10 weeks.

Also - Wednesday evening was totally sucked up getting the Elder Child ready to go visit her father in an unnamed midwestern state the following morning.

If the current husband is Mr. "Quandary", that would have to make my ex, Mr. "Effing Clueless." But we'll just call him "Roundboy" for the sake of simplicity. He picked up that nickname when the Elder Child was just a baby, and a couple of his friends promised to pay us some large amount of money if her first word was "Roundboy." It wasn't, but since there was really no chance in hell the friends would have paid up anyway, it wasn't a great loss.

Sadly, I married Roundboy way too young. So, let this serve as a warning to all you 20-somethings. At some point the guy who is "so spontaneous and just a blast to hang out with" transforms into "that irresponsible loser." And if you marry him and have a child, this is a very very bad thing because someone should have a job and be responsible, and it will probably end up being you. Then you get divorced and end up having to keep in touch with him and let him make questionable parenting decisions for the next 15 years. And he encroaches on your holidays.

This is my year to have the Elder Child for Christmas, so the only reason she went to visit Roundboy was because he is finally graduating from college. After 19 years. Clearly, like E.Spat, I had fabulous taste in men in my younger days. But, I either a) got very lucky or b) learned my lesson, because Mr. Quandary is a wonderful husband and father, and probably the best person I know. Much better than I deserve, obviously, but no one ever said life was fair. Truth be told, it's probably choice "a," if the guys I dated immediately after my divorce from Roundboy are any indication.

With any luck (and if Roundboy holds true to form) I should have at least one or two good stories upon Elder Child's return.

These Fins Were Made For, er, Swimming

Beefy McManstick, Ladies and Gentlemen! On tour to the Quandary House for the next 2 weeks!

Beefy on Tour Posted by Hello

A photo taken this morning. We haven't killed him yet, E.Spat.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Not a Total Lush, But....

You Are a Martini

You're not a total lush, but you do like your drinks strong
For you, drinking is an art. An experience to be relished.
That doesn't mean you don't get really really drunk.
A few strong martini's, and you're dancing on the bar!

What alcoholic drink are you?

Thanks to Law & Alcoholism for the link.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004


Expect light no posting.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

To My Fellow Early Morning Bus Riders...

How do you manage to smell so bad early in the morning? I mean, you just got out of the shower, right? Right??? You DID remember to shower, didn't you?

Because you smell really bad. Like old Chinese food and beer. And that's not a pleasant combination at any time of day.

I Am a Terrible Child

In the midst of all my studying for and bitching & moaning about finals, I completely forgot that yesterday was my parents' wedding anniversary. Didn't send a card or anything. I suck.

I even forget how many years they've been married - see, I told you I was terrible.

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad.

Your Thoughtless Daughter.

Fall Quarter. Done.

Whew. I just completed my last final of the quarter!

Amount of time I spent studying for it? About 2 hours. Degree of confidence I have about having passed it? About 97.9%.* Put it this way - it was a credit/no-credit final in a credit/no-credit class. I figure that even if I missed some things, it was obvious I was in class and paid attention. Well, most of the time, at least.

Gonna do a couple of things around school and then it's home for a well-deserved nap.

* Completely arbitrary number, of course.

Like Top Gun. But Without the Sex and Volleyball.

Actually, not like Top Gun at all.

Tonight Mr. Q and I went to a premiere showing of the new IMAX, FighterPilot: Operation Red Flag.

We got tickets because Mr Q. works with a bunch of muckety-mucks who gave hojillions of dollars to make the film. The invitation included a reception with catered food and an open bar. Of which I did not partake because I have a final tomorrow. (Which of course begs the question as to what the hell I was doing at a movie tonight, but anyway...)

The film itself. Go to the website - it's a decent summary of the plot, right down to the cheesiness. Bottom line - the main character comes off as a bit pathetic. I blame the script. The editing is spotty to bad in a couple of places. By combining really spectacular footage with ho-hum music, they manage to make flying an F-15 seem a little boring - and that takes talent, folks. They make up for it by showing some things getting blown up - which is a definite bonus.

Also, as a former support officer, I appreciate the effort to recognize the fact that it's not ALL about the fighter pilots, but they could have at least made the fighter pilot part seem a little cooler. I mean, "Fighter Pilot" IS right there in the title.

After the movie, they brought up two of the people who were "in" the movie. The guy running the show introduces one of them and says "you might have noticed Suzy Pilot sitting in the right hand seat of the C-17." Right. Because she was so easy to recognize from the back of her head during the whole 3 seconds she was onscreen? The guy then has to practically beg the audience to ask Suzy Pilot a question - and some complete moron asks the standard "are there a lot of women in the Air Force?" question. Although Suzy Pilot had the supreme opportunity to say something along the lines of "I don't know. I'm too busy flying into Iraq and doing my damned job to notice," she came off with a much more politically correct answer. Gah! Probably coached by the Public Affairs officer. Who also failed to tell her that her hair was out of regs.

I'm not saying I hated it, but it'll have a very limited audience.

And would it have killed them to include some hot boys playing volleyball?

Monday, December 13, 2004

BusOrgs. Done.

It's over. Now let's just hope that something I put down in my 9 pages of frenzied typing makes enough sense to the Prof to convince him to pass me.

Despite my violation of the cardinal rule of law school exam taking (check the weighting of points and allocate time accordingly), and having to pee after hour 2 (curse you Starbucks!), I think I might have managed it.

Now, who needs a nap?

Exam Checklist

Venti Nonfat 3-Pump No-Whip Mocha. Check.
Exam Number. Check.
Blank CD's for burning exam onto. Check.
Bluebook for just in case that doesn't work. Check.
Red Sharpie for marking all the necessary info on the CD. Check.
Multiple texts on the subject for "just-in-case, but God I hope I don't need 'em" reference. Check.
A basic understanding of business organizations. I think so.

Full blown panic. Check. Check.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Funniest Thing by Far

I've seen today...

A woman wearing full-on motorcycle gear, replete with leather chaps, riding a mint-green one of these.

A Little Something to Entertain

Before I launch into my final day of Bus-Orgs-O-Rama, here's a little something I swiped from the Slithery D.

Going Home

After 13 hours here today, I am calling it quits.

Tomorrow I will conquer Mergers and Acquisitions, Insider Trading, and Defensive Measures.

Back tomorrow. Don't call me - I'll call you. Unless you're Mr. Quandary, in which case, I'll be home in about 15 minutes.

Cramming for Finals By the Numbers

Number of Starbucks' Venti Nonfat 3-Pump No-Whip Triple Mochas consumed by me today - 1

Number of fabulously greasy "Deluxe" Cheeseburgers from the local burger dive consumed by me today - 2

Number of chocolate shakes from aforementioned burger dive - also 1, but I wish I'd gotten 2 and skipped the fries

Number of Pepsi's consumed by me today - 0, because my school is lame and only stocks the vastly inferior Coca-Cola products (and even those weren't stocked), and the 2-liter I had in the office was flat

Number of hours I've been here today - 11

Number of cases left to review for the class I hate the most this quarter - approximately 612

Friday, December 10, 2004


Number of books it takes for me to hammer BusOrgs into my thick German skull?

5. Including the text, the professor's supplement, Legalines (and thank you, Law School Library for having nothing more current than 1989 to help me out in that regard), and 2 other "explain all" texts.

Have I mentioned how much I hate this class?

btw - I just added my AIM address --> over there, to the right, just under my email address. Not that I'm actively looking for things to distract me from BusOrgs, of course. I'm NOT!

Not Much To Say Today

Mainly because 1) Blogger hasn't let me post most of the day and 2) BusOrgs is still kicking my ass.

But the couple of things I do have to say:

1) To the guy who decided that "In Your Eyes" needed to be remade - you suck. Whatever gave you the idea that your sorry no-talent, off-key ass could do better than Peter Gabriel? He's cooler than you'll ever be - even if he is 112.

2) To the people at Albertson's who seem to think that Chocolate Iced Cinnamon Rolls could be improved upon by drizzling Maple flavored frosting on them - you also suck. Despite E. McPan's observation that the Quandary family seems to like flavors, Maple is not among the preferred flavors. Mainly because it's nasty - blech - as in, not even worth eating.

3) Law school sucks. The fact that the faculty is downstairs right now having a party with good food, wine, and beer right now just makes me want to punch someone in the throat.

Maybe I'll think of more to say later.

Gone Home for the Night

After learning more about the Business Judgment Rule than I ever cared to know, it's time to call it quits. Also, I discovered more than one case that I'm sure I was in class for, but somehow don't remember a single fact from.

We have a parent teacher conference at 7:30 in the morning for Little Quandary, our toddler. Does this seem strange to anyone else? We had one last year too. "Well...what can we say. She's walking, but not saying much. She also has this thing about taking off her shoes and socks. Check back next year. "

At any rate, I leave you with a couple of quotes from the fabulously complete (but sadly not concise) book I'm using to teach myself Bus Orgs, Corporation Law and Economics by Bainbridge.

"In any event, Minton's importance is often over-stated. Justice Traynor was an activist judge who viewed the tort system primarily as a compensation scheme." p. 163

"There are simply no bright-line rules for deciding when courts will pierce the corporate veil. This makes life hard for litigators, of course, but who really cares?" p. 163

Well, then. Tell me what you really think.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Bus Orgs. But on Speed.

Like my friend at Rock Opera!, I am watching Exam Prep videos. I had to show up extra special early, only to discover that this video is done by the same guy who did Civ Pro last year.

And just like last year, this guy is cracking bad jokes about such things as insider trading: is Bobbitt a tippee...well, from what I hear, there's a man who could really use a tip. BaDumBum. He is so enthusiastic about the subject matter that you just have to question his sanity. But at least it's not Fran Drescher singing about Property Law.

So - 3 hours and 20 minutes later, I feel more knowledgeable than I was before. And it wasn't nearly as painful as sitting in class every single day for an entire quarter.

Net loss in time this quarter by attending class = 10 weeks x 5 days a week (minus 3 for holidays, and 4 more for illness/slacking) = 43 days of class. Minus the 3.3 hours of this video = 39.7 hours of my life I will never get back.


Wednesday, December 08, 2004

I Have the Coolest Neighbors!

My next door neighbor, H, just stopped by with a wreath for our door. It seems her mother-in-law's church does a fund raiser and "she had a couple extra." And she wouldn't even accept any payment for it.

So thanks, H!* You are the coolest!

*Although I will never give H the link to this blog because she would probably think much less of me if she ever read the uncharitable things I say. Also, because she goes to the Church that causes me eternal consternation on Sunday mornings, and might know this person.

Can Anybody Tell Me...

Why Mr. Quandary insists on buying low-carb tortillas? Nasty. Absolutely disgusting - as in, not even worth eating.

The Wasabi potato chips, on the other hand, are intriguing. I'm not saying I'll ever buy them again either, but they're at least edible.


I just came from my last class of the quarter! And I'm going home in a few minutes to eat the remainder of the totally awesome cheesy mashed potatoes from last night.

Contrary to Soupie's claims, I make the "world's most awesome mashed potatoes." (Note the name change - so you can't get me on trademark infringement). Although in my house, we call them smashed potatoes...I'm not quite sure why.


Warning - this post is neither funny (although my 4 loyal readers should be used to that), or sarcastic. If that's what you're looking for, you should probably just skip this one.

Although I failed to note Pearl Harbor Day yesterday, I didn't actually forget about it. I meant to put up a post all day, and somehow still managed to blow it off. Apparently though, they talked about it at the Elder Child's school yesterday. One of her teachers even had them write cards to current soldiers, thanking them for their service. I'm am astounded by the level of understanding the Elder Child has of what happened and what the consequences were. I'm fairly certain I knew nothing about Pearl Harbor at her age. What can I say - she's much smarter than I am, which is why she'll be going to medical school someday.

However, Pearl Harbor Day was not the anniversary I was thinking of when I wrote the title to the post. I realized this morning that today is the 20th anniversary of my running away from home. I don't mean the kind where you get in a fight with your parents about the state of cleanliness in your room and leave for a few hours. I mean the kind where you leave, turn yourself into the Police, stay in a foster home for 3 years, and only see your parents during court approved visits.

Now that I'm a parent, I can't even imagine what kind of hell that must have been for my parents. While things in my house were definitely not "normal," part of me wonders if I wasn't being just the tiniest bit of a spoiled brat. I'm confident that at the time I was sure I was saving my sanity and maybe my life. I seem to also have been able to convince at least a few adults, a couple of psychologists, and a judge of this as well, so who knows.

Either way, I just want to say thanks to the people who did help me when I needed it. The teacher who let me stay at her house. The social worker who handled my case - even though you irritated me to no end sometimes. My foster family - all except the guy who tried to get me and every other female who came through the house to sleep with him.

To my mom. You know this was never about you. I'm sorry, but when you wouldn't leave, I had to. I know you understand.

And to my dad. I'm sorry I put you through that - it must have been really hard. On the other hand - kicking is not an appropriate disciplinary measure for a child. Ever.

Ok....back to our regularly scheduled cynical programming. Although I'm sure this does a lot to explain why I'm so screwed up.

Which Deadly Sin Am I?

An Appropriate Quiz for Right Before Finals, I Think...

I AM Gluttony!!! Hear my tummy rumble...


Nibbling a cookie at the moment by any chance?
You don't just like your food, you love it! And
there's nothing wrong with that! However,
gluttony isn't just about food. It relates to
anything that you gobble up more of then you
should. You tend to 'take your cake, and eat
it too' - excuse the horrific pun. Perhaps if
you weren't so consumed with having every
little thing, you'd be better off. On the plus
side, you know what you like, what you want -
and you go after it. You tend to have good
instincts about things, and excellent taste in
your life.
Congratulations, You have the best taste out of all
the 7 deadly sins!

Whew. That's good to know.
Because I'd hate to be going to Hell for having bad taste.

But I suppose that's what Lust is for.

?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

This Seems to Explain Many of My Classmates

Stolen From The Onion:

A father talking to his son about his obsession with the Supreme Court...

You can debate with me and defend yourself all you want, but it's evident to your mother and me that your interest borders on unhealthy. The Supreme Court is all you talk about. You lie awake at night making up fantasy scenarios about what kind of decisions William Rehnquist might make in the matter of Jill L. Brown, Acting Warden v. Charles Payton. I mean, you get more excited about the first Monday in October than your friends do about Super Bowl Sunday! Son, you shouldn't plan your life around the start of the new Supreme Court term.
Okay, name one thing you do, besides sleeping or eating, that doesn't involve the Supreme Court. Bassoon lessons don't count. Your mom and I make you take those. If you had your way, you'd be up in your room, cutting pictures of your favorite justices out of the Washington Post to add to your mural, which is another thing we need to discuss.

But here's the difference: Even though I was an enormous fan of the Supreme Court, I had other interests. I read mysteries. I went to movies. I kept up on the appellate and state courts and played basketball with friends. I had some of my favorite opinions up on the wall, much like you do, but I also had a couple of pictures of hot rods and a poster of Mia Farrow. Look at your room—there's nothing but collages of court justices through the years. Your floor is covered with printouts of opinions and dissents. You spend all night on the Internet holding mock Supreme Court hearings in the chat rooms. I don't want to say it's not normal, but I do think it's behavior we need to evaluate.

The Supreme Court is the most important judicial body in America, but it isn't everything. I'm sure you'll find plenty of things to occupy your time. Well, you'd better, because for the next six months, you are going to be Antonin Scalia and Sandra Day O'Connor-free, whether you like it or not.
Geez, and I wonder why I can't compete.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

LQ Expose, Volume 1, Issue 2

This is where I google and make fun of catch up with my former classmates.

Our current victim candidate: a guy I went to High School AND College with, we'll call him "Thad". We were on swim team together in High School and hated each other. With a passion. When he showed up in my Biology class in College, he seemed less of an asshole immature. We would even hang out from time to time, until he abruptly left school to support his drug habit "join the Army."

LQ: So, Thad, what have you been up to?
Thad: Well, I'm a successful business man. As you can see by my ad, I've been working in real estate. I'm a multi-million dollar producer and a member of the 100% Club.
LQ: What the hell is the 100% Club?
Thad: Have no idea. The Big/Ass Real Estate Company just tells us all to put this on our advertising.
LQ: Uh, great, well, since you brought it up, it also says in your ad that you love several things.
Thad: That's right, LQ, I love God, Country, Family, Football, and Beer. In that order. You see, when it comes right down to it, I'm just a regular guy.
LQ: Do you find that advertising your love of beer helps you in your business?
Thad: Oh, absolutely! People feel like they can relate to me - like I'm just a regular guy. Some people, especially in these parts, would even consider a common love of beer to be a prerequisite for making a purchase of as large as $5000. Real estate's a very competitive market. The beer issue is a tie breaker at the very least.
LQ: Uh-huh. Well, there you have it folks. Let's check out Thad's ad so we can see some of the shitholes fine homes that have helped make Thad a multi-million dollar producer:

Just A Regular Guy Posted by Hello

Monday, December 06, 2004

I Deserve a Treat!

I got my employment policy & memo back today and...maxed out the available points! Which just goes to show that the only thing in law school I am any good at is writing. At any rate - yay me!

In celebration, I made pudding for dessert - the really good, cook-it-yourself kind that my mom sends me from Germany. For some reason I was craving vanilla pudding (although chocolate is still generally the best flavor. For pretty much anything). Luckily, my mother had ignored my "I-only-eat-the-chocolate-so-please-don't-send-any-other-kind" statements, and included "Bourbon Vanilla" in the last shipment. It has little pieces of vanilla bean in it and was totally yummy!

So now it's not even 8PM. I'm in my jammies and have a tummy full of warm yummy pudding. If it weren't for Bus Orgs, life would be good. I'm still going to bed early though.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Dear Lady in the Blue Buick,

You suck.

Perhaps it was not immediately apparent by the fact that I was sitting at the end of a row with my car idling, that I was, in fact, waiting for a parking spot. A spot in the lot next to the building I pay $6,000,000,000 in tuition every year to attend classes in. Maybe you didn't pick up on my gestures of frustration as you zipped ahead of me to take the spot for which I'd been waiting 15 minutes.

I know you feel entitled. Let me just point out that I feel even more entitled. I pay tuition (see above) and I had 4.3 thousand pounds of books in my car - books which I was planning - you guessed it - to use to go study.

Let me just close by saying that I don't care if you were going to church. You are going straight to hell. Just so you know.



Saturday, December 04, 2004

What are the Chances?

That I go into a Starbucks and get in line behind the only 2 people in the entire Pacific Northwest who don't know how to order coffee?

Wasting Time

I have discovered a new game. Well, actually I watched an evil, weasly girl in one of my classes playing it and it looked kinda fun. And it is. It is called Zuma.

Of course that doesn't make the girl I saw playing it any less evil and weasly.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Happy Spooning

I recently did a search for someone I went to Junior High School with. We had kept in touch until a couple of years ago when I said something she took wrong and stopped speaking to me.

Here's what my search came up with:
If Reid Mihalko is right, nearly all of us are desperate for someone, anyone, even someone we've just met, to hold us, rub our feet, stroke our hair. And because this is about healing, this someone might give us a long, soul-baring kiss. Then, our needs fulfilled, we might venture back into the real world, boasting that we'd been to a cuddle party, the grandest social experiment since the 1970s brought us primal screams and group rebirthings.
If Mihalko is wrong, then the scores of people who've been paying him for the privilege of letting strangers spoon with them are really, really weird.
But let's take the optimistic view. The cuddle party is a six-month-old trend that started in Manhattan and hit Washington recently. It is run by Mihalko and his business partner — two self-proclaimed (that is, uncredentialed) sex and romance coaches.

Perhaps because of his concern that people will confuse cuddle parties with orgies, Mihalko has adopted a kind of kindergarten-teacher language. He calls those attending "cuddle monsters" and calls their praise "cuddlemonials." He signs his Cuddle Party newsletters with phrases like "Happy spooning." He says his parties create a "safe space" that allows people to be "energetically open." He has apostles who attend cuddle party after cuddle party, saying it relieves stress and social anxieties.

It costs $30 to attend a cuddle party; $20 if you take advantage of the Endless Summer Spooning Special and sign up with a friend. There are cuddle party T-shirts and mugs and teddy bears and thongs. Mihalko and Baczynski say they're planning a book and training courses.

OK - my friend from Junior High is not one of the two, um, partners in this business, but she is mentioned in the article. The idea of paying someone for the privilege of pawing cuddling with perfect strangers seems foreign to me. I mean - isn't that what college and bars and dating are for? Someone who has no credentials and bills themself as a sex and romance coach while selling thongs also seems suspect to me. But maybe I'm just old fashioned like that.

Also - what the hell is a "varsity cuddler?"

The Dirty, Evil, Nasty Employment Policy is Done!

Turned in. Finished. Never to darken my doorstep again.

Of course, I do have the opportunity to revise it next week if I'm not happy with my grade, but then that was the point of trying to do it right the first time. Since I'm guessing I won't have any extra time on my hands next week either.

One more Evidence paper to go this quarter, and then only 2 finals! Neither of which I have any clue as to how I plan to study for.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004


I went to Evidence this morning, but am reallocating (skipping) the rest of my classes to get my final Employment Law project done. Let's be honest folks, I haven't paid attention in those 2 classes for the first two days of the week - what are the chances I'm actually going to do something other than surf the web in there today?

I've only been home a few minutes, but already, it's so much better than being at school. The house is quiet and I've got the fireplace going. If I didn't have this damned memo to write, I'd definitely be curled up on the couch.

But for now, the memo. Right after I check my email, and see what's new on all the blogs, that is.