Legal Quandary

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Pack Your Bags, Kids! We're Going on a Guilt Trip!

I've written before about EC's rather poor ability to lie and/or conceal material facts. It seems she recently decided to test whether her skills had improved. I would give her a B- on the planning and execution of her latest endeavor because she had mixed success.

Apparently, she had an assignment due two weeks ago. It was not a complex or even time consuming assignment, but for some reason it just did not get done. I would speculate that it is mainly because it's a bunch of busywork that I probably wouldn't have completed in a timely manner as a child either, but that's beside the point.

The point is that she wasn't upfront about it and sought the conceal the noncompletion from us this whole time.

This whole two weeks, EC has been building these intricate constructions with these (very cool) sandstone blocks my dad bought her. And playing with the neighbor kids. And been making little bracelets and weaving purses for her "business" where she attempts to hawk this stuff to her classmates. I appreciate her entrepreneurship and typically encourage her in these endevours. (Though personally, I wouldn't buy the stuff. But maybe that's only because I've been gifted with too many of her artistic "wall hangings" and such. E.Spat might endorse the bracelet and necklace part though - she even bought one for M.)

EC confessed that she didn't tell us about the overdue assignment because she recently signed up to be in a play at school and didn't want us to take that away. Mr. Q had conditioned her participation on all of her schoolwork being completed. She promised it would be (knowing that at the time, this assignment was already overdue). I wrote out a check for $60 on Thursday to allow her to participate. We found out about her assignment yesterday purely by chance when Mr. Q happened to run into one of EC's teachers in the hallway yesterday, who made EC spill the beans.

So the question is - do we let her participate in the play and just take away a bunch of other stuff? OR do we yank her out of the play? I've already put the kibosh on the "business" and there was much sadness on EC's part, but I don't feel that's punishment enough. Largely because the play was the motivation for the lie. On the other hand, E. Spat argues somewhat convincingly that taking away the play won't necessarily discourage her from lying to us in the future, but will only make her hate us for taking that away. I also hate just throwing $60 away.

Anyone have any creative solutions as to how we can get our point across without taking the play away? I'm sort of thrilled she's into that stuff and it also gets her out of my hair til 5:30 for 2 days a week.

Mr. Q and I have perfected the good cop/bad cop interrogation routine. He dragged the basics out of her yesterday afternoon and told her that she had to confess to me. Of course, he filled me in on all the details before she got a chance to fess up. Which I'm sure makes her wish there were a little more distance between the whole law school experience and parenting because you know I treat her like she's on trial. Even though I have yet to take Trial Advocacy and don't really know how to effectively conduct a cross-examination, I do get results from her.

Me: So, I'm a little confused as to timeframes here. Maybe you can clear this up for me, EC. When exactly was this project assigned?

EC: I don't remember.

Me: Well surely, you remember generally when it was assigned. Was it last week? The week before? A month ago?

EC: About 2 weeks ago.

Me: I see. And sometime between two weeks ago and now you asked to be in the play, is that correct?

EC: Yes.

Me: And when Mr. Q agreed to let you be in the play - did he set any conditions?

And so on...she was in tears at various points, but I think she fessed up everything and got the general idea that she was in heaps-o-trouble.

Poor kid. You would think she would eventually learn to either keep her mouth shut and/or lawyer up before talking to Mr. Q. Because she's got to know that whatever she says can and will be used against her in later proceedings.


Here's one of EC's Sandstone Block creations from last week:
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I'm Finding

That as the quarter progresses I tend to swear in my notes more.

For example:

My most recent Admin law notes section is entitled "WTF is Arbitrary and Capricious Anyway?"

The first line of notes in the same section says "APA seems to call for de novo review…pretty much whenever the ct damned well feels like it (APA § 706)"

And later, discussing the Overton Park decision. "Fact that Congress issued statutes on the protection of parklands is an indicator that they found it to be pretty f***ing important."

Not that these are by any means extremely vulgar or anything. Just sort of a reflection of my state of mind, I guess. I think I swear more in person at this point of the quarter/year too.

McPan, I'm so jealous you're done with this shit.

Friday Spies - The Karnak Edition

As always, from the minds of the proprietors of BTQ - I give you - Friday Spies. As usual, I was at work when I wrote these, so the lameness of the answers questions is about what you'd expect from someone furtively trying to think up humorous coherent questions while simultaneously cite checking a brief.

1. Archibald Leach, Bernard Schwartz, Lucille LeSueur.
These are the "real" answers to this Friday Spies question - What are three baby names Brittany Spears will consider and reject.

These names are all hideous and were therefore serious contenders.

2. To get to the other side.

Why do people along the ilk of John Edward and James van Praagh hustle
families who have lost loved ones?

3. Drugs. Massive quantities of drugs.

What was would-be-Wendy's-extortionist, Anna Ayala, planning to do
with the money?

4. Milbarge.

Who gets more attention by not writing a word?

5. Without question, the single most idiotic thing ever thought up by
the human mind.

Orange Listerine.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Bad Mommy!

Is it really so awful that I would love to record EC's off-key singing in the shower and then save the recordings for the express purpose of embarrassing her when she's older? (Read: when she's dating)

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

I'm At the Point of Just Not Caring

I'm supposed to be working on an "un-midterm."

Professor Admin desperately wanted to give us a midterm. He made the mistake of putting it up to a vote, and very few people were interested in stressing themselves out about a test at this point in the quarter. (Better to save it all up for later).

He was so psyched about the idea of the midterm and so hurt that no one wanted to take one that he gave us what is, for all intents and purposes, a take-home midterm. Which we're going to discuss in class tomorrow.

Trouble is, I just can't bring myself to care about it. Don't get me wrong - I've tried reading and re-reading the stuff. I read the cases initially and I've looked at them tonight. I have my handy Blond's and Legalines next to me. But I don't care and just can't seem to "synthesize" the way he wants us to.

I'm tired. I just want to lay in the sunshine and snooze during the day. And play with my kids in the evening. And talk to my husband or watch tv once the kids are in bed.

I'm sure I'll care a heck of a lot more tomorrow at 9:30 though so it would be good if the "caring" gene kicked back in well before then.


I was talking with one of my classmates this morning about our househunting trip to DC. He asked how it went. I said it was expensive. Blah, blah.

And then he says something to the effect of "Well, you know, I was just reading in The Economist that they predict the housing market bubble is going to burst. And they actually predicted the stock bubble was going to burst a couple of years ago...blah, blah...and they say there's only one market that's capable of sustaining those kinds of housing prices - New York, yada, yada....and that the hard and fast rule is that you should never buy a house unless you're going to be there for at least 5 years anyway."

I pointed out that the "rule" would mean that military families could never buy houses then.

But now I'm sort of angst ridden about the whole thing. Do any of you actually know anything about real estate?

And if so - do you have any thoughts on the situation?

Notice to Intruders:

As E.Spat mentioned, we went shooting last night.

I know my shooting isn't nearly as impressive as the ever-fabulous E.Spat's (I blame it on her targtet being on against a red background - what a fabulous idea on the part of her photographer!)

However, I would like to point out that intruders to my home would still be pretty dead. Or at least seriously injured.

And that's what's important.
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National Poetry Month

According to everyone, it's National Poetry Month. Us Quandary's ain't too lit-ur-ery, so I thought I'd regale you with some of EC's recent artwork instead.
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Monday, April 25, 2005

Question of the Day

Why do they make Alcoholics Anonymous bumper stickers? Doesn't plastering a distinctive logo or phrase on your vehicle defeat the whole purpose?

Sunday, April 24, 2005


We're back from our nation's great capital. Actually, I'm not entirely convinced that we ever entered the district, since we only got as far as the airport in that direction. And I think that's still in Virginia.

And here's what I found out:

Houses are expensive. Don't get me wrong - TVPNM is expensive too. Only when we came here we were astounded at what a quarter of a million dollars wouldn't buy us. Now we're astounded at what half a million dollars won't buy us. A-MAZ-ING.

We did see a couple of townhomes that we could afford (maybe). Only problem was that they were in an area where Mr. Q's commute would be ok and mine would be horrendous. We spent all day Friday looking at 16 houses - and when I say house, I mean townhome - in the same area. I was a little concerned about my ability to get to GMU Law from there. Not that I've actually been accepted anywhere yet, but that's where I'm hoping to visit. GMU has several campuses (campi? scampi? mmm...scampi) and the Law School is NOT in the same place as the main campus - which is what ALL 16 of the Day 1 homes were near. So, on Day 2, I expressed my concern to our realtor. He says "oh, don't you worry about it - it's a piece of cake! You just zip down road x to street y and you're there! 10 minutes!" Mr. Q and I just looked at him and said "You know the law school isn't at the same campus, right?" Ummm....

He did a really quick recovery and pointed out that where we wanted to be was on the orange metro line and NOT the blue line. Either that or drive in to GMU every day and pay to park at a nearby shopping mall. [Does anyone know anything about doing this? Calling all you DC Bloggers...] So, Saturday's search took us to a different and more expensive area. On the plus side, we only looked at 5 houses. But only because those were the only ones in our price range.

The other thing I learned: Some people have no taste. None. Zero. Zip. There was one house where I had a hard time not laughing. The people were home though (another bizarre thing), so I restrained myself. The main floor was painted orange. The bathroom lime. And the master bedroom was painted raspberry. There were one or two other room colors thrown in for good measure too, but I referred to it as the rainbow sherbet house.

Also, real estate agents are not allowed to advertise homes which actually face the sound barrier of major freeways as having waterfall soundscapes built in. We asked.

The funniest point of the weekend: Actually happened as I was brushing my teeth in the ladies room of the airport the morning we arrived (we took the red-eye, remember). As I stood there minding my bicuspids and molars, a lady and her mother entered the restroom. They each went into their own stall and were chit-chatting when suddenly, I heard this "thud!," "bang!" and "oh my!" I turned around and saw the mother sprawled on the bathroom floor with her pants around her ankles.

Lady: Mom! Are you okay?!

Mom: I guess I just fell off the toilet! Maybe that'll knock some sense into me!

I just tried my best not to choke on my toothpaste.

Mr. Q says that laughing at the lady's misfortune was sure to bring me bad karma. He may have been right because last night at dinner, I tried to be smart and "cut" a piece of tempura in half using a chopstick. Just like I've done bijillions thousands lots of other times. This time, my chopstick snapped in half and went flying end-over-end in slow motion. Luckily it landed on the floor and not on the next table.

The waitress brought another pair of chopsticks over and laid them on the table without a word. But if she'd been brushing her teeth in an airport restroom, I'm sure she would have had a hard time not choking on her toothpaste.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Why Don't I Have A Good Feeling About This???

We were supposed to leave for the airport at 7:40 pm. Notice that this post is being written after 7:40 pm.

Q: Did Mr. Q actually go play softball after work and before coming home to shower and go to the airport?

A: Yes, he did.

Q: Did Mr. Q solemnly promise to be home well before we needed to leave.

A: Yes, he did.

Q: Is he in fact home?

A: No, he is not.

That's ok - we're only flying standby to find a place to live for the next 3 years.

Expect Light Posting

If any.

Mr. Q and I are headed to D.C. tonight.

Wish us luck as we meet with a realtor and get ready to spend wayyyyyyyy too much money on a house.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005


Congrats to EC and her team mates! They will advance to the City GRC Finals on May 4th.

Thanks to everyone who wished her luck, whether in writing or just mentally!

Send Your Good Vibes This Way...Please?

I know I've mentioned before that EC is a smart kid. In fact, she's been chosen as part of the team that will represent her school at the city Global Reading Challenge Semi-Finals tomorrow.

GRC is a program put on by the TVPNM Public Library. Basically, the librarians get together, pick a bunch of books, and then come up with nitpicky trivia questions. The kids have several months to read the books (they divvy them up, so nobody has to read all of them - each kid is an "expert" (hey...just like law school) on 3-4 books.) The kids form teams and hold in school competitions to see which one team will get to represent their school at the City Semi-Finals, where it's narrowed down to 2 teams. These 2 teams go to the City Finals, and the winner plays an internet telecon match against the winning team from Kalamazoo, MI.

EC and her team won their in-school competition about a month ago and have been studying non-stop ever since. Her school won the competition last year, so no pressure. AND her best friend is on the team representing their major rival school.

So, here's what I'm asking for from you all...just think about EC and send some good karma her way. She's an awesome kid. She's smart. And funny. (Just ask E.Spat) But she's totally not coordinated, meaning she never gets to be the star athlete (she played volleyball this year, and it was just painful to watch - and I'm her mom!) Would you wish her some luck in the area where she really has a good chance to be a star? She deserves it...

Pretty please?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Calling Disaffected College Students Everywhere

As I was googling for the little anti-motivational quote about Bad Examples, I didn't find it, but stumbled across this site instead.

Check out the "perfect for" list on this one and this one and this one.

A True Legal Quandary

E.Spat mentioned a while back that she was somewhat puzzled by this late night commercial, advertising the services of a local attorney. (Click on the "new" video).

It appears that NOT ONLY does Mr. Fabulous Attorney advertise, he ALSO runs a website. A website that was prominently featured in today's Professional Responsibility class. And you know that old saying "if you can't be a good role model, you can at least serve as a bad example"? Yeah, that's totally what our class discussion focused on because this guy's website looks like a how-to guide on walking the fine line of the Model Rules.

For example:

- Take note that this gentleman does online consultations - for a fee ($25 for 2 questions, $50 for 5).

- AND there's a disclaimer stating that submitting questions for online consultation does not establish an attorney client relationship. (Note the misspellings and grammatical errors on said disclaimer - classy!)

- He's also an author. "She Is NOT Your Friend. A Man's Guide to Understanding Women." Available for the low-low price of $15.95. Also check out the do-it-yourself Child Support Modification book and companion video. T-Shirts too!
- If I'm going to malign judges as being "biased," I always find that a public forum, like, say, a website is the way to go.

The commercials are worth watching for the poor videography alone. Snazzy! Seriously - who thought this was a good idea?

Ooooh...a Quiz!

It 's comforting to say that 'practice makes perfect'....
You are 'Gregg shorthand'. Originally designed to
enable people to write faster, it is also very
useful for writing things which one does not
want other people to read, inasmuch as almost
no one knows shorthand any more.

You know how important it is to do things
efficiently and on time. You also value your
privacy, and (unlike some people) you do not
pretend to be friends with just everyone; that
would be ridiculous. When you do make friends,
you take them seriously, and faithfully keep
what they confide in you to yourself.
Unfortunately, the work which you do (which is
very important, of course) sometimes keeps you
away from social activities, and you are often
lonely. Your problem is that Gregg shorthand
has been obsolete for a long time.

What obsolete skill are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

as seen over at The Neutral Zone Trap.

Unlike E.Spat, I value my sanity, and elected not to do the moot court competition. Therefore, in theory, I should have plenty of time to read assignments sleep put up posts. However, a large portion of this weekend was taken up trying to figure out what elementary school we want EC to attend in Fairfax VA. It's a lengthy and involved process, as I discussed with Soupie the other evening. Though it's doubtful that he remembers, since this occured on Saturday - meaning HE was the one doing the drunk IM-ing, and not yours truly. I would never do that.

I was going to get to bed early tonight, but instead spent an hour and 51 minutes on the phone with my mother-in-law. 1:51:00. Nearly 2 hours I could have been sleeping instead of talking listening half-listening while playing Bejeweled. 2 Hours!!!

On a completely different note - wouldn't it be cool if Blogger remembered who you linked to regularly and had a little pull down menu like - oh - every other site on the internet? Just a thought.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

This One I'm Not So Sure About...

Your True Birth Month Is July









Fun to be with

Has reputation

Not revengeful

Easily consoled

Very emotional

Wary and sharp

Waits for friends

Likes to be quiet

Witty and snarky

Caring and loving

Loves to be alone

Overly concerned

Loves to be loved

Treats others equally

Puts in effort in work

Takes pride in oneself

Moody and easily hurt

No difficulties in studying

Strong sense of sympathy

Forgiving but never forgets

Quiet unless excited or tensed

Not aggressive unless provoked

Concerned about people's feelings

Temperamental and unpredictable

Judge people through observations

Easily hurt but takes long to recover

Guides others physically and mentally

Dislikes the nonsensical and unnecessary

Difficult to fathom and to be understood

Sensitive and forms impressions carefully

Always broods about the past and the old friends

What's Your True Birth Month?

as seen on Blogthings

Saturday, April 16, 2005


I am coloring my hair. Why? Because I'm headed to DC next weekend to meet with the realtor and look at houses. So, yes, I am doing this for the benefit of some superficial real estate agent, in the hopes that if I cover the roots that are going grey, I'll look younger. Or more affluent. Or something. Not that he really gives a shit, since he's already looked at our loan approval numbers and made his judgments about us based on those.

At any rate, I'm reading the instructions on this package of hair color. Because truth be told, it's gotta be done whether I impress a realtor or not, and now is just as good a time as any. It says I'm supposed to "apply to damp hair that is free of styling product build-up" yet I shouldn't "shampoo immediately before coloring." Maybe I've been in law school too long, but these seem to be ambiguous terms.

First of all - what exactly is "damp?" Does that mean get my hair wet in the sink and now I'm good to go? Or just towel dry? Or do I need to sit around for awhile to let some more water evaporate out? Could I have just spritzed my hair with some water and called that good?

Second - what exactly constitutes "styling product build-up?" I mean, I used some Aveda product yesterday that's supposed to help my hair maintain it's curl form (whatever the hell that means.) Is that build-up? If so - the package also says I'm not supposed to wash my hair right before coloring - should I have washed it yesterday and walked around with my hair all frizzy and unkempt because I couldn't put any stuff in it? Or just washed it right before bed last night (nope - I was too tipsy!)

I'm confused.

The other thing I've done so far today is clean our main living area. We have one of those combined kitchen/dining/living room areas. Just like base housing, only way more expensive. While I generally try to keep it clean but not necessarily uncluttered (there's a difference), today I cleaned because one of Mr. Q's friends is visiting tomorrow. You might even say his best friend, since he was the best man at our wedding. Although Mr. Q was NOT the best man at HIS wedding, so I don't think the feeling is mutual. Also, his wife doesn't like me. I don't know why exactly, but it's pretty consistent with the rest of my life. Women, on the whole, don't tend to like me. I've never been able to figure that one out. Other people I know can go out, meet perfect strangers, and be yakking away like they've known each other for years. Not me.

Mr. Q's friend and his wife are freakishly clean people. Their house is ALWAYS immaculate. They also don't have children, but they're the type who even if they did, would keep their house freakishly clean. Unfortunately, they're freakishly clean AND judgmental people. The friend was once at Mr. Q's apartment (long before we were married) and wiped his finger along the dusty television. He held the finger out to Mr. Q, shook his head, and said his first name in that "I'm so disappointed in you" tone of voice. So the whole idea of them visiting tomorrow is completely stressing me out.

But I have to go now. I think my hair is just the right degree of damp and I'd hate to miss a window of opportunity like that.

Verrrrrry Interesting...

Swiped from cricket. Also, I am no longer tipsy. Damn.

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

20% Upper Midwestern

10% Dixie

5% Yankee

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?


I LOVE the red wine. And the chocolate mousse.

That WILL be all!


Bastard Blogger...if you don't post this...I'll....I'll...damn...I don't know what I'll do. Also, whatever cable company I have for DSL (the name escapes me at the moment) sucks.

THAT will be all.

Friday, April 15, 2005

I Wanna Talk About Meme!

By which, of course, I mean the dreaded West Nile Book Meme that's been making the rounds.

Thanks to E.Spat, this is my part of the “all-girl (book) revue review....” Note that she did not say girl on girl book review – so you can wipe that idea right out of your mind.

1. You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be saved?
Unlike some of my compatriots (who will, ahem, remain nameless), I actually have read Fahrenheit 451. Because I am geeky like that. And because I went through a rather long Science Fiction phase during the Roundboy years.
In keeping with that, I think I would save “Stranger in a Strange Land.” Because I love Heinlein books. I know it's not incredibly highbrow or intellectual, but it is one of my absolute favorites. I've read it about a dozen times and still think Jabal is hilarious, and that Heinlein has some really interesting observations about our culture.
2. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Ummmmm…I'm sure I have, but I just can't really think of any characters from a book, but maybe Lloyd Dobler from "Say Anything" because he's the ultimate nice guy. And he’s played by John Cusack. Realistically though, I think the no ambition thing would get to me pretty quick.
3. The last book you purchased?
Textbooks don't count, right? Over Christmas break I bought 2 books. One was "Blacklist" by Sara Paretsky. The other was "The Lady and the Footman" by Wilma Counts. I used to really enjoy Sara Paretsky, but I've found that lately I don't enjoy being preached at by my mystery novels about social values. I get enough of that at school.
I bought the Wilma Counts book because she was one of my high school English teachers. But now she's a romance novelist. I thought I wrote a post about it, but haven't been able to find it, so I think Blogger ate it. Bastards.
Ms. Counts taught both English and Civics. She was one of the toughest teachers I ever had, and made us read Shakespeare, Turgenev, and Hardy. So it totally amuses me that she's now writing the trash stuff fine literature she used to chastise us for reading.
She also only had one hand.
4. What are you currently reading?
I'm currently between books and am accepting recommendations. I have a $25 giftcard to Barnes and Noble just waiting to be spent!
5. Five books you would take to a deserted island? In no particular order:
1. I hear there's a "best of " Heinlein coming out. Or Essential Heinlein. Or something like that. At any rate - it's 46 of Heinlein's finest most popular randomly selected novels. That should keep me busy for awhile.
2. I'll copy E. McPan and Fitz and take along an Army Survival Manual. You know, just in case. Always prepared – that’s my motto…no wait - that's the Boy Scouts. At any rate, this sounds like a good thing to have along.
3. I'll copy E.Spat and take "The Lord of the Rings" series by J.R.R. Tolkien since I have also read The Hobbit but never the LoTR series.
4. "Les Miserables." I've tried several times, but have never made it past page 26. Maybe having nothing better to do would properly motivate me.
5. The Bible. Mainly because I've always meant to read all of it, but never have. I did a Bible Study course the year between the Air Force and starting law school and it was really interesting. Also, maybe I could memorize all the "begats" just for fun. Once I've read everything else on my list, of course.
5 books I definitely wouldn't be taking with me.
1. Any book with "Madeline" in the title
2. Goodnight Moon.
3. The Very Hungry Caterpillar
4. The Going to Bed Book *don't need to take it - got it memorized*
5. Any book featuring Elmo.

Also, I think it’s totally unfair I can only take 5 books. After reading THL’s choices (esp Anne of Green Gables – every girl should read the whole series!), I wish I would have thought of those too. And Chronicles of Narnia. And the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy “trilogy.”

On the other hand, I guess being able to choose 5 books is way better than getting stuck with a single issue of, say, People Magazine.

Hmmmm…whom to pass this on to. Who hasn’t already done this? I pick…Brian, Denise, and Legally Intoxicated. I swear, this is the blog equivalent of a chain letter.

Friday Spies

Questions brought to you by the imagination of BTQ. I take full responsibility for the lameness of my answers. I blame the fact that I'm at work. Yeah, that's why....

1. What names did you consider for your blog?
LQ was really the only one. I had been using it as a msn screenname for awhile, and just started the blog for kicks one night to procrastinate from my BusOrgs reading. If I had it to do over again, I think I would still go with LQ. But I might seriously consider “Juridiculous.” Although I’m not sure I’m a) funny enough or b) actually do enough posting about law stuff to justify that name.
2. What is your favorite adult beverage and why?
Red wine - preferably Pinot Noir, but a nice Syrah (Shiraz) or Merlot works too. I think this is a result of living in California for 3 years. I wasn't much of a wine drinker before that and only liked the sweet stuff. As I started drinking more wine, I started liking the reds much better (though I still enjoy a good Riesling). It’s good with appetizers or a full dinner. I can drink more than one and not make a fool of myself. Or I can just stick with one and still look sociable. Also, I've only gotten sick off red wine once. And that's only because I split a large bottle of not great quality wine (before I knew better) with a BCOT classmate. That was day 2 of BCOT - it only went downhill from there.
3. If you could cancel 3 televisions shows, what would they be?
Ummm…I don't think I could even name 3 current tv shows right now. Elimidate was a pretty terrible show when I still had time for tv. Divorce Court was also pretty sad. If its possible to prospectively cancel a show – anything that features Britney Spears is just bound to just be a train wreck in slow motion.
4. You've been asked to host ">SNL. Which cast would you choose to work with, and who would you choose as the musical guest?
I’m assuming this means I can pick and choose among cast members even though they may not have actually worked together. Will Farrell, Chris Kattan, Phil Hartman, and Cherie Oterie with a musical guest of the Counting Crows.
Although honestly, I never watch the musical guest and would just as soon do away with that portion of the show.
5. What will Britney Spears name her baby and which three names will she consider and reject before settling on the "winner"?
You know…I’m not really very good at this. I’m going to defer to people who are better at this sort of thing.

Happy Tax Day!

Remember how I said nothing good had ever followed the words, “You need to look at something”?

Well, that was a lie.

Because that’s exactly what Mr. Q said five years ago today, right before he gave me this.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Hey, All You Band Geeks...

Go here. Watch this. Don't worry about the language thing.

It gives a whole new meaning to "french horns."

Hat tip - Mrs. Gorilla - the coolest tuba player I know.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005


17 minutes have now gone by and I am still emphatically NOT studying for my PR test tomorrow.

If I were smart, I would just go to sleep.

But I'm not.


Why is it that after spending the last 3 hours (or so) reading Admin, I have less than zero interest in studying these damned PR rules?

I have a test tomorrow. I'm far from being an expert on Ethics (but did pretty ok at picking out the right answer off a sample MPRE). But -


Maybe if I hadn't stayed up til 1 am posting stupid quizzes and stuff I would be more motivated.

Somehow I doubt it though.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Did I Mention Normality Wasn't a Strong Suit in my Family?

So this really isn't a surprise.

You Are 40% Normal

(Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal...

Other things you do are downright strange

You've got a little of your freak going on

But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

I'm sure this has been out on other people's blogs, but I got it from Blogthings.

My Long Lost Family

The ever-fabulous E. Spat loaned me a couple of books by David Sedaris before Spring Break. Both were extremely amusing (Naked actually had me laughing so hard on the airplane that tears were streaming down my face. Sometimes I see people like that traveling, and I always think to myself, "Freak.")

It wasn't until I got to the final chapter of "Me Talk Pretty Some Day," that I realized David Sedaris was actually my brother. I don't know how the fact that I had several siblings, a father named "Lou," and a chain-smoking mother managed to escape me, but there it is. My parents also raised me with the impression that I was German - not Greek. But, being a parent myself, I know that parents sometimes lie with reckless abandon. This must be the case here, because there can't be two men like this out there. Can there???

You wouldn't catch our neighbors scraping mold off their strawberries, but to our father, there was nothing so rotten that it couldn't be eaten.

This is a pretty good summary of some of the things I found during my trip. Containers of yogurt or sour cream that expired months ago, and yet were proclaimed to be "still good!"

I've never known our father to buy anything not marked REDUCED FOR QUICK SALE. Without an orange tag, an item was virtually invisible to him. the problem was that he never associated "quick sale" with "immediate consumption."

I found at least a dozen packages of assorted cheese with these orange stickers in my dad's refrigerator. Most were labelled with other stickers which suggested that they had been sold in August or September of last year. Some even earlier. But when I suggested that it might be time to part with them, I was chided for being "wasteful." Even when I tried to compromise by just throwing away the ones with mold already present. ("You can cut that off.") I made an executive decision and snuck the long-expired meat products and what had once upon a time been vegetables (or fruit?) into the dumpster during one of his naps.

The most ridiculous was the milk. Several containers of unopened milk - the oldest from June of last year. I finally had to open one and pour the bleu cheese dressing down the sink for him to believe me that no, just because it hasn't been opened doesn't mean its still good.

The saddest part was early in my visit, my dad mentioned he had some Omaha Steaks in the kitchen. I love a good filet and thought maybe I could cook dinner one night. Until I realized that they hadn't been stored in the freezer (he'd run out of room), but had been sitting in the refrigerator for the last 6 months. "Vacuum packed! They're still good!"


David, if you're reading - I'm waiting for your call. I can't wait to meet you and the rest of my brothers and sisters! I'm a little worried about the Rooster though.

Technorati et al.

I am not a ratings whore. If I were, I would make greater efforts to be "funny" or "smart" or "insightful" in my posts.

On the other hand, I have to admit that I check Technorati and TTLB a few times a day from time to time. Lately, none of my links seem to be updating. For example, reading Bloglines today, I noticed that 3 people had linked to me (thanks, you guys), but neither Technorati or TTLB picked any of the links up.

Am I doing something wrong, or do other people have these issues too?

Sometimes it just does my ego good to see that other people like me - or at least the quizzes I've swiped from other places - enough to link, ya know?

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Grosser Than Gross, Part Deux

I took Lil Q to the park this afternoon. We'd been there not more than 7 minutes when I caught whiff of her and determined we needed to head right back home. (The park is just up the street - not worth schlepping a diaper bag.)

We got home and I won the diaper lottery, meaninig that Lil Q wanted daddy to change her. Score! A few minutes later, Mr. Q calls me upstairs because "you need to look at something."

Nothing good has ever followed those words. Not in the whole history of mankind. Not even once.

I got upstairs and Mr. Q was cleaning up the last of a ginormous, smelly diaper. Embedded in the contents of said diaper was one U.S. Quarter. (A Georgia quarter, if you're interested). Obviously she must have swallowed it at some point. I know this because she was 1) wearing a shirt that snaps at the crotch with overalls, so it couldn't have "fallen" into her diaper, and 2) trust me when I say "embedded."

Mr. Q pulled it out and wiped it off. I took it, and dropped it into some very hot soapy water to soak, which is where it is right now. I intend to take it out of the soapy water at some point, wrap it in plastic and save it for sometime when I get really poor service somewhere.

That way when I leave just the quarter and the waitperson/barista says "what a shitty tip," they won't know how right they are. Heheh.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

2 Questions For You.

Yup, another class participation post. Mainly for my own amusement, so please play along. Also, because I typed up a version of this a couple of nights ago and bastard Blogger apparently didn't think it was worth posting.

1) Cheetos - Crunchy or Puffs?
I think the Crunchy ones taste better, but for some reason I prefer the Puffs. Bought a huge bag (only size they had) of them today.

2) Tell me about a "mystery" injury that you don't remember receiving.
For example, right now I have a largish bruise along my right index finger that's purplish and hurts like hell. And I have no idea how I got it.

But my most (or least, depending on how you look at it) memorable mystery injury happened several years ago in Alabama for a class. It was at the very end of the course, and all we had left was this computer simulated wargame. I had been a very good girl for the entire course, but our class decided to go out and celebrate almost being done. I decided to let my hair down for the occasion. Just this once.

We started out in one of my classmates' room with margaritas, which may or may not have accompanied us on our drive to the restaurant, depending on what the open container laws are in Alabama. We went to a Mexican restaurant, where Dos Equis, margaritas, and tequila shots accompanied bad Mexican food (what did I expect in Alabama?) For some reason we stopped at this fake English pub/game place, where we all turtled, and then got kicked out. And then we went dancing.

It was a couple of weeks after my broken nose, so I was pretty careful about guarding my face, but I was wearing sandals. Big mistake. Bottom line is that when the lights came on, I was missing the big toenail on my right foot. Ripped completely off. Only I didn't notice until someone pointed out that my foot was bleeding.

I vaguely remember going back to the dorms and publicly ridiculing one of my classmates for the cowboy hat and boots boxers he'd left laying out in the room. Because that shit richly deserves public ridicule.

I know for a fact that the war game planning session at 9 the next morning was not remarkably productive. Also, my toe really hurt.

Oh GOD! It's Genetic! I'm Doomed!

Doomed, I tell you.

You May Be a Bit Obsessive Compulsive ...

Meticulous and detailed oriented, you have some irrational obsessions.

Maybe it's your super neat closet (cabinets) or washing your hands a gazillion times.

You probably know it's weird, but you just can't stop thinking about it.

In fact, the more you think about your quirks, the more you have to do them.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

As seen on Blogthings....just follow the link.

I Heart New Bedding

In which I indulge in one of my few "girly" moments.

Mr. Q bought me a really expensive, really fabulous down comforter for my birthday. But we haven't used it yet because we didn't have a duvet cover for it. We finally went last weekend and bought one.

Our old down comforter was a queen size, but I wanted a king size comforter so we won't have to fight over it. And because it looks better when the duvet hangs further down the sides.

Being a girl, it's not possible for my to *just* walk out with a duvet cover. I had to have a matching dust ruffle and sheets too. I wanted matching shams too, but they didn't have any left. I didn't get around to changing the bedding until tonight.

I had to wash the sheets before I put them on to get all the sizing out, but I wanted it to look nice, so there I stood tonight, ironing my pillowcases. There's an exercise in futility for you. But at least I didn't use starch.

And it's so pretty! There's just something about sleeping in a bed that looks nice.

/gushy girly post

I Don't Know About the Wizard Part...

But my score doesn't suck. Borrowed from Brian. Who is not a Logic Wizard.

You Are Pretty Logical

(You got 63% of the questions right)

You're a bit of a wizard when it comes to logic

While you don't have perfect logic, you logic is pretty darn good

Keep at it - you've got a lot of natural talent in this area!

How Logical Are You?

She's a Very Funny Girl...

That E. McPan. You see if I ever confide my family secrets in you all again!

Courtesy of E. McPan Posted by Hello

Friday Spies

So Friday is almost over and I’m just now getting to these. I work on Fridays and unfortunately my desk is located right down the hall from the big boss. People are constantly walking down the hall and my opportunity to obviously slack is almost non-existent. I have to content myself with just doing homework, since research of any kind at least looks official.

As always, Friday Spies is the brainchild of BTQ – and welcome to the new staffer, Nataliya, there!

1. James Bond or Austin Powers?

I’m gonna have to say Austin Powers on this one. While E.Spat is correct in saying that Bond is easier on the eyes, I’ve just never really gotten into the Bond movies. Shame on me, but there it is.

I have to admit I wasn’t a huge Austin Powers fan at first either, but he sort of grew on me. Our section instructor at Squadron Officer School was a HUGE Austin Powers fan. He would show us clips in class to illustrate different leadership styles. When it came time for us to do our papers, he did a whole paper on “Why We Should Kill Austin Powers With a Gun” by Scott Evil. With references and everything. Grooooovy, Baby!

2. What is the most romantic thing you've ever done for someone?

I had to ask Mr. Q what the most romantic thing I’ve ever done for him was. He told me, and then immediately forbad forbade said I couldn’t post it.

Roundboy would cheerfully tell you that I am not at all romantic. There’s probably 2 or 3 others who would say the same thing. I don’t think that’s necessarily true – I think I just don’t take the time when I don’t care.

So, probably the “most” romantic thing that I do is I write love letters. And cards. And notes. When Mr. Q travels, he can almost always expect to find at least one note or card in his luggage, a coat pocket, or book. He leaves them for me too. We have post-it notes on the insides of all our kitchen cupboards from past trips. While I don’t know if this would win us any sort of prize for “most romantic couple,” it is a nice daily affirmation of our relationship.

Which is what I think romance is really all about – building a life together.

3. Rachel claims">this
is her favorite movie. Her actual favorite movie is?

I have no idea what this question is even asking. Pass.

4. What is the perfect rock-and-roll song?

Wow. That’s so hard to answer, because the answer totally depends on my mood. ACDC “You Shook Me All Night Long” springs to mind though. It’s about sex, I know all the words, and it gives all the hardcore rockers (not me) out there the opportunity to play air guitar. It’s also followed by “Have A Drink On Me,” and “Back in Black” is an overall kickass album.

The Black Crowes “Twice as Hard” off “Shake Your Moneymaker” is the song I used to play every time I broke up with somebody. (And I always did the breaking up).

Depeche Mode “Just Can’t Get Enough” is always fun, as is the B-52’s “Love Shack.”

At this point, I feel like this is a law school exam – I’m not exactly sure what the question is asking, so I’m going to keep throwing out suggestions in the hopes it’ll get me some points.

5. So what really happened to Milbarge?

Milbarge finally found a job where he could call all the shots and make up rules to suit him. They dress you up in fancy robes. You get to travel. People kiss your jewelry. Everyone seems to respect you and ask for your advice. But no one’s really surprised when they never take it.

And the last guy died.

I say he converted (if necessary), since any Catholic male can take over. And now he’s in Rome trying to influence as many guys in red skullcaps as he can before the 18th.

I predict that Pope Hank I will be greeting us from a balcony around the 22nd of April.

Friday, April 08, 2005

And What the Hell

is wrong with Blogger?

I refuse to believe all my problems are due to my crappy-ass wireless connection.

It's nice that they now give you the ability to recover posts, however I'd be happier if they a) posted in the first place and/or b) didn't randomly get deleted.


I just submitted the revisions to my final paper for Transmission of Wealth from last quarter. Yeah, I know the quarter ended a couple of weeks ago, but the Prof gave me until tomorrow to turn it in. So by those standards my paper is early. But it's been a pain in my ass to try to do this quarter's coursework and revise something from last quarter.

But it's done now, so I'll be sleeping well tonight!

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

And The Smell Still Lingers more rant about the garlic fries - because I can.

I sat next to a classmate today and asked him how the game was last night. He said fine (but the M's lost), and btw, how did I know he'd been at the game. I told him I could smell the garlic fries.

When I came home this afternoon, the whole house had this unpleasant lingering aroma.
When I picked up EC from school, she still had this unpleasant lingering aroma.

Seriously, folks, it's just not right to eat garlic fries (or caesar salad) when the people you live with don't have the opportunity to eat in self defense. I am as big a fan of the garlic fry as the next person (with the stipulation that they be done right - hot, crispy, and not too salty), but really. Y'all stink.

In other news, I am out of my favorite tea. This doesn't make my mornings very happy. I. Love. MY. Tea. Even the baby* can pick out "MY" tea. She'll point to it and say "Mommy."

On the other hand, she also associates me with other things I'm less thrilled about. For example, the other day, she and Mr. Q were at Costco to buy some baby wipes. For some reason, this particular Costco puts their baby wipes in a different area than any other Costco, and Mr. Q had to hunt around for them a bit. The ended up in the "sanitary products" aisle. She pointed at a box of Depends and said her name. Mr. Q explained that those weren't her diapers, but were for big people. She then pointed at a box of tampons and said "Mommy."

What this means is that if I died today, my child would remember me as drinking Constant Comment tea and using Tampax. Fabulous.

* Although if you ask her if she's a baby, she'll tell you "I not a baby, I Hap-pee!" Even when she's crying.

There Oughtta Be a Law

That people who don't take their spouses with them to baseball games may not consume garlic fries at said game.

Good God - the stench in my bedroom this morning!

On another note - our school is "law geek" central this morning. People are actually lined up to see the 9th Circuit.

There are about 5 protesters standing outside the school for 2 of the cases (one on stop-loss and the other on abortion paid for by the military health care system).

I feel like I should have stayed overnight and brought a mask of my favorite 9th Circuit Judge.

Update: They already issued a decision in the stop-loss case. Honestly, no surprise.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Home Alone

The fam left for an M's game about an hour ago, leaving me in peace to post revise a paper from last quarter. I'm also multi-tasking by baking some fan-fucking-tabulous oatmeal bread, and soaking beans for baked beans, while munching on frozen oatmeal-chocolate-chip cookie dough. (Frozen b/c I like it that way, cookies take too long to bake, and the bread is rising in the oven right now anyway. Duh.) Apparently, I need carbs to write.

I realized I never followed up with many of the details about my "Spring Break," other than to vent about how disgusting the cleaning was. Plenty of time for more of that later.

I expressed some concern about going out to dinner with B here. We actually got together a couple of times during the course of my trip. The dinner was ok. I'd forgotten that Nebraska steakhouses aren't exactly known for their salads and vegetables, but the steak was quite excellent. And the wine was awesome. Which is all that really counts. If I'd really wanted broccoli, I suppose I could have gone somewhere else.

We spent most of the dinner talking about B's upcoming divorce, where I mostly listened and asked lawyerly questions. It appears to have been a long time coming, but he still seemed somewhat sad about it in that "I'm going to cover it up by making snide comments about her" way. We had talked about her before, and he'd often made uncomplimentary comments. I always found myself thinking "if I had married him, he might have been talking about me like that." And it always made me a little sad for them.

Later in the week, we went to visit his parents. B and I dated for 4 1/2 years and during most of that time, I was in a foster home, so his parents really took me in. I really missed being part of the family when we broke up. One of our other friends from high school also showed up, and B's dad kept commenting that it was just like when we were back in high school, except now B and his friend were drinking his beer instead of his Mountain Dew. During the course of the visit, it became clear that B had told his parents at length about all of his soon-to-be-ex's faults too - including her, ahem, lack of marital affection. It's not an issue with Mr. Q and me, but I can't even imagine having a discussion like that with my parents. Or Mr. Q's parents.

All in all, it was good to see B again. But it was a little strange to take the "This Could Have Been Your Life" tour. And to realize we weren't 18 anymore. I'm not sure he's changed all that much, yet I feel like that was a whole different life for me. I can't help but wonder a little bit how things would have turned out. Would I ever have gone to law school? Would B and I have had children? Where would we be living? Chances are good we would have stayed in Omaha - would I be happy with that? I have lots of friends who stayed and they seem happy there, but I get restless when I live somewhere for more than a few years. Would I have learned to live with his choice in decor? Or the mustache?

But when I think about it, I know it's all moot. Because I'm happy with the path I've chosen.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Dear Mr. Bicycle Man,

I know it's a beautiful day, and I can totally understand why you'd want to be outside on your bike.

But stopping traffic at an already congested 5-way stop because you're trying to drink your frappucino while riding your bike makes you a bona fide asshat.

Thought you should know.

Yours truly,



This is the song I have floating around my head right now.

It's always bad to have one of those. But worse when the song of choice makes no sense whatsoever.

I blame Mr. Q. And this time, it's actually his fault.

What's Grosser Than Gross?

Back here, I wrote about some of Lil Q's disgusting noseblowing activities. For some reason she doesn't grasp the idea of asking for a kleenex before blowing. Last night, she did this at the dinner table right after having a huge coughing fit.

Being a good mommy, I got up and got some kleenex, wiped her nose, washed my hands and went on with dinner. A minute or two later, I noticed that she had a particularly tenacious nose goblin still hanging on, so I got up for another kleenex. This time I did the gently squeeze the nostril and pull technique - and pulled out a 5 inch piece of fettucine!

We were having fettucine alfredo for dinner, but I truly have no idea how it got up there. I can only assume it happened during the coughing fit, but still.


Saturday, April 02, 2005


E.Spat and I just walked down the Ave to get some snacks. I predictably went to Starbucks for my mocha, and walked out with an overpriced 7 layer cookie to boot.

Not 20 feet later, some kid walks up to me with his hand stretched out asking, "Spare any food?"

I should probably feel guilty saying "no" while carrying a $4 cup of coffee down the street, but my initial reaction was "Screw you. I just paid $3 for a cookie. I am eating every damned bite of it."

Don't mess with me today.

Well, There Goes That New Year's Resolution

I just went downstairs and bought myself a Cherry Coke.

I am normally a Pepsi girl, but our school has chosen to stock their vending machines with the vastly inferior Coca Cola products. Although a minor irritation to me, this is actually good for 2 reasons. First, E.Spat loves the Diet Coke, and so she's generally way more interested in the presence of Coca Cola products than I am. Therefore, from the perspective of our limited little universe, it is more efficient and wealth maximizing for the school to sell Coke products. Second, it usually deters me from purchasing soda, which is better for me, thus increasing my overall utility.

See how Law and Economics has started to permeate my brain? Or maybe it's just the corn syrup talking. Either way, I'm enjoying my bubbly sweet beverage - so there.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Friday Spies

The brainchild of the boys of BTQ, here's this week's Friday Spies. I took last week off, so I thought I'd compensate by posting Thursday night this week.

1. Have you ever been in a car wreck?

Yup. Several - but only one where I was driving.

  1. When I was 10, my dad and I were driving to Indiana. We were leaving a gas station and this pick-up truck had a tire blow out. He came across the road at us, and took out pretty much the entire back end of the car.
  2. When I was dating Roundboy, we were coming back from the grocery store, and I thought I'd be funny and stick a container of frozen orange juice on him while he was driving. He retaliated, and ran into a parked car. We were only going 20-30 mph, but somehow this ended up screwing up my back. I wound up in the hospital a couple of days later with severe muscle spasms. To this day when its cold or I'm really stressed, that muscle just clenches up.
  3. The day before I pinned on Captain, I had just pulled out of the parking lot headed toward an intersection where I had the right of way and the other traffic had to stop. As I came to the intersection, this woman who was stopped decided to pull out in front of me. Her husband was only on base for training and she didn't even have a U.S. driver's license. I don't recommend the air bag experience.

2. Sunrise or sunset?

Sunset. Sunrise comes way too early.

3. If you could change, amend, delete, or pass one law, what would it be?

The law of gravity.

4. What is your favorite single article of clothing?

I'm torn between taking the easy way out and saying my flannel pajamas (two pieces, but I'm only counting them as one because I am, damn it) and the black leather jacket my mom bought me for Christmas. Or possible the new Body by Victoria bras and panties I just bought. Because a girl needs comfy undergarments that look good too...

5. If you could/had to spend the day hanging out with another blogger

(one you don't already know), who would it be and what would you do?

This is a super tough question because there's so many people I'd love to really get to know, but I'd spend the day with E. McPan. We chat from time to time, and I think we've got a lot in common. I don't know the specifics of what we'd do, but I'm sure we'd go to lunch and probably laugh at people. I'm guessing we'd dine on pasta or maybe soup. Maybe I'd even cook.